This song doesn't get the love it deserves. I love this song and think it's beautiful.

Feeding The Wolves

Midnight Run is a track from my 2018 album Dark Descent. With Midnight Run, I wanted to create something that would reflect the emotional drive and willpower that comes along with compulsive over-exercising as an anorexic.
It's very different to any other song on the album - it's upbeat, energetic, and was designed with running and exercising in mind.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Midnight Run

Girl Within The Ghost is a track from my 2018 album Dark Descent. This song describes how anorexia can completely take over your own personality, to the point where that person appears to be a ghost of their former self; 'the lights are on, but nobody's home'.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Girl Within The Ghost

On My Mind is the first song I've written solely about binge eating disorder.

The track features clips from a YouTube video by Keiko Cupcake, who describes what it's like to live with the disorder while in the midst of a binge eating episode. I thought the video was so powerful and raw, I really wanted to utilise it to add depth to the song.

Link to Keiko Cupcake's video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dda6vN8IdA

On My Mind

The Animal Inside is a song about eating disorder recovery from my 2020 album Beauty In The Darkness. Through the lyrics, I aim to show how a sense of inner power and strength have been stifled by the illness, and learning how to rediscover and harness these can be the key to psychological recovery.

The Animal Inside

Shadow Dancer is a track from my 2020 album Beauty In The Darkness.

The inspiration behind this song came from the memory of dancing alone in my bedroom at night when I was suffering from anorexia as a teenager. I would wait until after midnight, put on my headphones, and dance until I believed I'd burned off enough calories - it was just me, my shadow, and the anorexic voice pushing me on. With this track, I hoped to capture the haunting feeling of isolation that comes with embracing the anorexic voice, and the strange sense of companionship that forms as a result.

Shadow Dancer

Cold is a track from my 2020 album Beauty In The Darkness, based on the cold reality of anorexia hospitalisation. Within the track, I've added voiceovers reflecting the mental battle between the sufferer and the anorexic voice. Cold can also be seen as a sister song to Immune.

Cold

So Low is the first song I've written about depression, with undercurrents of an eating disorder. With this track, I tried to capture how I've felt during low times, and the need to hide myself away from others and shut out the world.

So Low

Beauty In The Darkness is a song from my 2020 album under the same name. 

This track was inspired by a YouTube comment on one of my other songs, which made me realise that there are elements of beauty within the darkness of eating disorders - for example, the intense euphoria and feeling of achievement experienced through weight loss. The lyrics convey how the ED tries to seduce the sufferer by playing on insecurities and fears from childhood, or from peer pressure, and offers a misleading sense of comfort and security.

Beauty In The Darkness

Deteriorate is a song from my Hollow EP about an eating disorder relapse. The idea for this song stems directly from a memory of a time when I experienced relapses of my eating disorder as a teenager.

A vivid image that hangs in my mind is of a crimson sky at dawn, when I would wake up early and run to burn off calories before the day had begun. There were some beautiful skies in the countryside, and for me, the red sky and cold morning rain always signalled the beginning of a relapse, and the fall back into the anorexic mindset.

Deteriorate

birthday cake by Alex Carroll 
lyrics

V1
I'm sure I used to like birthday cake
and going out at half past two
now I don't know where all my friends have gone
was I supposed to tend to them too

Chorus
and oh I should've stayed at home tonight
cause that's what I've been built to do
and I know the doctors said that I should try
but mum can you pick me up soon

V2
now my best friend is diet lemonade
and crying on the kitchen floor
mum can you tell them we've got plans that day
cause I'm not sure that I can say no anymore

Chorus

Bridge
before I 
lose my mind
another night I'd like to tear into my thighs
oh why 
could the people in my head 
could you please just go to bed
no I can't take it anymore

Chorus

V3
I'm sure I used to like birthday cake
now it just tastes like giving up
I still don't know where all my friends have gone
but what would I give to be enough

birthday cake

Recovered anorexic from UK 🇬🇧
Psychological music based on eating disorders & mental illness 🎶

Feeding The Wolves

ElysianSoul

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Glitter ♡

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