part one

Childhood dreams 
Hazel, green,
Brown, eyes

Shitty poems 
Songs that meant something once
Anger, pain, love
Flies

Elephants and jasmine 
Swimming in a pool 
Of gentle touch and love 
So young 
So cruel 

If anything thing can go wrong, 
It will
Disorder becomes possibility 
An array of cards that we’ll choose from 
Fold paper planes, 
Small but strong

What can go wrong will go wrong
Spiky hair 
An uneven bob 
The wrong girl 
The wrong time 

Long blonde hair 
Freckles, gingers 
A question finally answered
A letter left without a word 

A late train
A fresh tattoo
My practiced act 
Your quiet charm 

And suddenly 
It went wrong 
I cried in your arms 
And you said it was ok 
My perfect row of pens 
Scattered to the floor 
My perfectly guarded smile 
Didn’t need to be pretty 
Didn’t need to be casual anymore 

What went wrong went so wrong 
So wrong it freed the feeling 
That everything mattered 
That every word mattered 
Every action left a mark 

The marks filled up the wall, 
And when you stand back 
The romance, the pain, 
Entwines together 
Becoming nothing at all

And so the wall becomes a canvas, 
Wiped clean
Made from the most refined, filed down wood of them all

murphy

always distant 
i look into your eyes i see nothing 
but i pretend i do 
i convince myself ill make it through 
that gold is waiting for you

but maybe 
lately 
i’ve started to realize 
maybe i’ll never find it 
or maybe 
it just was never there 
                             
trying to remember a time 
when i was happy 
maybe time lies 
just as you do 
to make me believe 
things that aren’t completely true 
  
perhaps some truth 
but unfortunately  
shaded by the things you say and do

fortunately shaded by my youth

remember

so clear     
i know where  
forgetting this moment
forgetting every moment

where i want to be 
who i want to be 

suddenly 

time  
is gone
years 
a single memory 

and you 
a forgotten dream

who was i meant to be

every moment

make a move?
say what i want to hear 
what do i want
what can you prove?

read my mind 
see through me
know what I mean 
look at me

hear what i want to hear
see what I want to see

unloved 
can’t accept love 
can hardly say the words

i don’t know you 
you don’t know me 

i haven’t let you 
have you let me?
 
maybe i still want to 
do you?

let me know

you were 
going to be 
who you dreamed of 
I was 
supposed to be  
someone free of
I don’t 
feel you 
beneath this tired act 

so tell me 
have you found it all?
be honest 
have made yourself whole?
so tell me 
is it worth it all?
be honest 
have you sold your soul?

i feel you not only changed 
i feel as if i never knew you 
knew you enough to see change 
maybe you were always this way

tell me

lets hold hands 
hold my heart in yours
hold my lips with yours 
hold my breath
as I drink in yours 

running through memories 
feeling your hands through mine 
is this a memory?
or dream of my mine

with yours

I want things I 
Never wanted 
Before 

Oh feeling 
Oh so friendly 
Oh I want to 
Feel you gently 

Oh I think that 
You just might leave me 
Half way open
Completely afraid 
Of holding your hand
Going further than planned 

I can give you my lips
Maybe more than a kiss
But to let go of my pride?
Let you see, to confide?

Oh I want things 
I want things I’ve never wanted before  
Felt things 
Oh I wanted oh before 

Half way open 
Half way empty 
Seems half way Is where I'll always be 
Half way made it 
Half way felt it 
Never got it 
Half way 
Never more 

Seems I'm stuck half open after all

Least the dust won’t gather on floor 
The tiny specs of wanting 
Swept by the wind
Rendered sore 

Oh tiny little heart of mine 
Anchored to the door 
Of possibility 
Free of love of he?
In a week or three. 

Oh I wanted things 
That I had never wanted 
Before 
Oh long before 

Feelings 
Oh so friendly 
I longed to hold you gently 

Oh I think that 
You just might have left me 
Half way open 
Completely afraid 
Half way afraid 
Of completely wanting 
Things I half way felt

ephina

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