I don’t have the facts or the numbers 
Where I fit in space and time 
But I’ve felt what it’s like to go under 
And I washed to the shore just in time 

I’m not afraid to believe without knowing 
I’m not afraid to take one small step at a time 
I’m holding on to the faith of where I’m going
Ever so grateful that you lead kindly light 
Lead kindly light 

In my unruly childhood 
I needed to prove my way 
Didn’t free me from unknowing 
Now I find my joy in faith 

Not gonna tell you I don’t have questions 
Not gonna say I don’t fall behind 
I still wander towards the shadows 
But I can always find the light

kindly Light

Can’t you see it, can’t you see it now?
The big man in the red suit, 
Flying high above the clouds
Bringing Christmas to me and you

Can’t you see it, can’t you see it now?
Don’t you call me insane
Ol kris kringle’s gonna jump right out
Look out! He’s jumping out of the plane!

(dolly: have you lost your mind?!)

Like a beacon of hope he flies in the clouds
So you better not cry, you better not pout
He’s walkin on the runway
Walkin on the wing
Jumpin out the plane with a parachute string 
So pick up your frowns! 
Santa Claus is flying to town!
Santa Claus is flying to town!

(DEWEY Dolly, this ain’t a bad idea PEARL America!)


Can’t you see it, can’t you see it now?
All the children’s smiling faces 
Hear them scream! Hear them shout!
As they see the hero of Christmas

DEWEY
What a hit!
The cash will flow

PEARL
Bring on santa, bring on the dough! 
Doing it all for the red white and blue


JOHNNY
And I’ll save Mesa like I promised to do 

ALL
So pick up your frowns,
Santa Claus is flying to town!
Santa Claus is flying to town!
Santa Claus is flying to town!
Santa Claus is flying to town!

(vamp, Dolly and Johnny exchange)

ALL
So pick up your frowns! |
Santa Claus is flying to town!


Typewriter, newspapers, vamping


ALL
So pick up your frowns! |
Santa Claus is flying to town!

3 "Santa Claus Is Flying To Town"

It’s not hard to jump out an airplane 
Ain’t nothing to it 
Just push down the fear and jump out the rear 
One more drink ought to do it 


American blood runs blue
When you’re commanded to do something you do it,
I’m not nervous are you? 
One more drink ought to do it 


(Johnny- I don’t think you’re in any shape)


I did it two times in the Great War 
And God will save me thrice 
That’s what liquid courage is for 
This time shaken on ice

 (Johnny- I can’t let you jump out) 


I’m not afraid to follow orders 
It’s my duty for the red white and blue! 
I feel like I’m back on enemy borders-


Johnny- 
Officer Chet! Loyal and true 
I’m hereby releasing you 
You served honorably it’s true 
Now stand down, I’m commanding you 
Thank you
for your service

4 Chet

MCPHEE
Take this mannequin
Here’s the cord to his parachute
When you get to spot we discussed
	Make sure you pull the cord
	
	CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
	What did you say

	MCPHEE
	Listen carefully! 
	Here’s the cord to his parachute
	When you get to the spot
	Make sure you pull the cord

	CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
	What was that again?

	MCPHEE
Captain Zimmerman! You’re killing me
	Listen. Here’s the cord
Are you listening? 
Make sure you pull the cord

CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
I agree. Praise the Lord!

MCPHEE
No! The cord
Oh gosh
Please, pull the cord
When you get the spot pull the cord
And then push him out

CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
Who?

MCPHEE
The mannequin

CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
Who pushes him out?

MCPHEE
You do.

CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
What?

MCPHEE
Captain Zimmerman! 
When you get to the spot 
Pull the cord
Then push him out

CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
Who’s he

MCPHEE
Santa, the mannequin

CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
This looks like a female mannequin

MCPHEE
It’s not
Captain Zimmerman
Please pull the cord
And then push him out

	CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
	(cuts him off) I’ll push her out
	
	MCPHEE
	This is important
	Can you do this

	CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
	Yup!......that’s not what I’d do-

	MCPHEE
	(cuts him off) Can you pull the cord and push him out at the spot?

	CAPTAIN ZIMMERMAN
	Howz about I just pull the cord and push him out at the spot?

	MCPHEE
That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day
	

	TOWNSPEOPLE (SOLOS)
	We’re excited to see santa
He’s excited to see me
	He’s gonna fly out of an airplane
	Bringing toys to girls and boys for free

	TOWNSPEOPLE (ALL TOGETHER)
	We’re excited to see santa
He’s excited to see me
	He’s gonna fly out of an airplane
	Bringing toys to girls and boys for free	

PEARL / DEWEY
	He did it! Johnny really did it!
	Looking at the bustling crowd
	He did it! Johnny really did it, 
And they’re pulling their wallets right out!

	He did it! You have to admit it
	It’s gonna be a scream!
	He did it, he really did it!

	DOLLY
	Maybe I was wrong to doubt that johnny mcphee
	
	MCPHEE
	Here it goes, the whole town is counting on me

	DOLLY
	That son of a gun’s gonna pull off this thing

	MCPHEE
	Time to give them the Christmas of their dreams!

	ALL
	Santa’s flying in the sky!

	NARRATOR
Just then, the parachute tangled on the legs of the mannequin, causing it to tumble rapidly!
	
ALL
Santa’s flying in the sky!

5 Zimmerman, The Incident

My dreaming days are over	
	I flew too close to the sun
	Why did I think I could make a difference
	I’m not anyone

	Well, I guess there one special thing about me
	Please, hold your applause
	I’m Arizona’s biggest failure
	I’m the man who killed Santa Claus. 

	

(Johnny and Dolly exchange, “you’re right, I went down in flames” or “I’m sorry I proved you right)

 DOLLY’S HOPEFUL REPRISE
	DOLLY
	Yes it’s hard to live in 1930	
	But it’s harder to live without a dream
	Your spectacular failure
	Is not the failure that it seems
	
	I can see, I can see it now
	Your dream swept their cares away
	You made adults believe in Santa today
	I can see it now

	DOLLY/JOHNNY
	We can fail and we can try
	Just to show we’re still alive
	Just keep reaching towards the sky
	Just keep reaching towards the sky

6 Johnny and Dolly Ending

MCPHEE
	children screamed
	Mothers cried
	Couldn’t barely look them
	In the eye

	Packed my bags 
	And I left this town
	I knew it was over 
	When Santa came down

	Put him in an airplane
	Sent him on his way
	Didn’t know what would happen that 
	Fateful day

	But history is kind 
	It’ll be kind to me
	I’m the man who killed santa 
	I’m Johnny McPhee


	ALL
Oooh! Ahhh!


JOHNNY
	I’m the man who killed Santa Claus!
	
	ALL
Oooh! Ahhh!


JOHNNY
	I’m the man who killed Santa Claus!
	

	JOHNNY
Did it for my town
The city of Mesa 
But Santa went down, straight
	with no chaser
No one was hurt 
But my ego and pride 
Started a new life out in 
	Telluride 

But listen in close 
Children, gather round 
Here’s the lesson that
I have found 

You can’t fail 
When you dare to dream 
Take it from me 
I’m Johnny McPhee 


	ALL
Oooh ahhh
	It’s the man who killed Santa Claus!
	Oooh ahhhh
	It’s the man who killed Santa Claus!


Oooh ahhh

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