You'll See What I Am

If I Turned Off The Light, Even In My Dreams

First Acoustic upload. Just recorded on my computer's speaker, so quality isn't very good.

Lyrics:
my parts mashed up, grown in size
and thrown in with all of the living
no voice to say "keep still the door,
Existence is a chore,
Existence is a chore."
Locked out of my cell, I reside
under unfamiliar ceilings,
No decisions of my own to make
My life's not mine to take
My life's not mine to take

Don't worry about understanding,
it's just a little scratch
I'll stop the bleeding in 80 years,
in time for the next batch

Scripture reads 'all life's a blessing'
be sure that we emphasize, there's
no right to say "keep still the door,
Existence is a chore,
Existence is a bore"
Locked out in this open plain, I'm singing
of how none can empathize. Where
did we cast our humanity to say,
"your life's not yours to take,
your life's not yours to take" ?

Don't worry about understanding,
It's just a common gash
I'll stop the hemorrhage in 80 years,
they say it's gone in a flash.

Don't worry about understanding
It's all part of "ash to ash"
I'll reach that relief in 80 years
Hope that it's gone in a flash

I guess I can pass the time, 
Doing my best Morrissey

Pass The Time

Punkish track I wrote today. Still figuring out how to balance the vocals. I think they sound better here but sometimes they're hard to understand.

Lyrics:
You think you can emulate the sun,
But I know you
When you close your eyes 'til morning comes,
You become the moon//////
Acting the big girl must be hard
Every day
I can see that you have a child's heart
So let it escape
-------------------------------
I know you love the comfort of 
Tiny, cozy, spaces.
Where you do not have to worry 
about wearing faces
----------------------
Oh! We're so alike,
You make me so glad I may cry
But if I say I'll take care of you      
This attraction would die ///
So, Forget the time                         
I'm content to see your eyes,   ///and      
if there's something you'd like to do
I would surely oblige
---------------------------------------
I can see you falling hard when /// I
Call you a child
Maybe if I were really a man
you'd stay a while
When you smile but you don't mean to
My heart just stops
There's something here that I won't lose
We won't fall apart
---------------------------------------
Oh! We're so alike,
You make me so glad I may cry
I'm not the one to take care of you      
That would just be a lie ///
So, Forget the time                         
I'm content to see your eyes,   ///and      
if there's something you'd like to do
I would surely oblige
---------------------------------------------
Did you know I also love a 
Tiny, cozy space
So how about you share with me 
and show me your real face
-------------------------------------------------
Oh! We're so alike,
You make me so glad I may cry
if I promise to stay here with you      
Would it be enough to survive? ///
So, Forget the time                         
I'm content to see your eyes,   ///and      
if there's something you'd like to do
I would surely oblige

Two Moons [First Mix]

Any Stimulation

Until Infinity

Mental Health

Gagged In Public

First try with distorted/unclean vocals.

Lyrics:
The presence of always staring eyes
indifference to the pulsing on the line
The essence of a little white lie

Friends. These are all my friends.
Friends forever.

Friend. You are still my friend.
I remember

Was it all a (lie)?


Friends (Vocal Mix)

I just kinda hate law school so I made this track mocking it. It's really lame and angsty. Enjoy.

Law School

My Nihilism (Makes for Really Weird Dreams)

A little melody I put together this morning. Felt like adding something uplifting since my last few tracks have been cynical. 

New Morning Strings

Wrote and recorded in one short session, just felt like getting it down since I haven't had an acoustic in a while.

Lyrics:
I think a lot of that cherry tree
In bloom for one short week
It brings about a smile on my melancholy face
a memory that cannot be replaced

You say that I must respect myself 
before I can ask for your respect
But nothing there can catch my eye
It never turns out the way that I expect

I should try to keep from giving up
but I'm not really tough
when you don't have a dream to keep you going every day
the little things start getting in your way


I'm nothing like that old cherry tree
I burn out slow and weak
I go through this life wearing a melancholy face
No one would notice if it were replaced


Respect (Acoustic 1st Take)

Lyrics:

Keep the    /  window up
So the air comes in and I feel its touch

Maybe    / Today's the day
When someone shines a light and shows the way

And in your dreams at night you fly away
To somewhere that your life will never be 

Nothing   /  Turns out right
When what is "right" is more than life provides.

Make sure   /   what you want
Is something less than life is giving out

Love, if you knew the answer, would you tell it?
Love, if you found a secret, would you tell it?
'cause love I don't believe it can turn out right anymore

Close the    / Window tight
It's almost time for us to end the night

Pray to    /  whoever's there
That we find in our dreams what life won't bare



Work Hard And Turn It Around (1st Acoustic Take)

Lyrics:

I was close to understanding 
where you thought it had gone wrong
But it's not a case of planning
Life is more than just a song

All the times, I've laughed and cried
Culminate, in my last ride

Another day and I'll be going, another day and I'll be gone
Another day and I'll be going, I'll tell you all "so long"

Life is building up a tower
Death is knocking it all down
When the sweet becomes the sour
Why should I still stick around

I'd ask you to come along
but we sing a different song


Offline (Acoustic sample)

Plenty of mistakes ( -_-) I can't play delicate songs like this.

Lyrics:
She will not cry for me
She won't believe I'll fall
Look past, the jetty
The sea will take me whole

Momma will miss her son
Lover will miss her best friend
But for, the person
When has the self been lost?

Flowers are blooming
I should make way
So a new bud can take place

Could I ever connect
Past the water's surface?
Is there, dialect
For speaking to the heart?

Momma will miss her son
Lover will miss an old friend
For me, a person
I guess I'll miss you all


Which Me Does God See? (Acoustic Sample)

Lyrics:

The starry nights alone, I don't know why
they always remind me of when you said goodbye

Now the earth is moving faster than my head can spin
Another night like this will be my

End to an awful dream

End This Dream (Demo)

Weird song I made this morning.

The sample is Donald Trump saying "Wow" at CNN's Republican Town Hall Event.

WOW! ;)

lyrics:

I've got my own way. My own way. Of doing everything.
My heart whispers seductions into my brain
And I won't change. I won't change. How I do anything.

I shoot from the hip. I lean on all my wits,
and try to keep the ugly parts contained, and

I've got My Own Way. My Own Way. Of doing Everything
Maybe I'm just stubborn, maybe that's to blame, but...
I won't change. I won't change. How I do anything

I'm a pessimist, a long exhausting trip
But in my life I still will grab the reins

Don't believe in fate/ or let your will deflate
Each moment is a canvass you can paint, say

(Chorus)

The worlds full of obsticles I don't want to face,
Life is tough and people suck, but one thing keeps me sane
Through all the harsh and all the worry standing in my way
I can stick my head up and say...

I've got my own way!


My Own Way (Acoustic Sample)

A rare case (for me) of writing a song to match a set of lyrics

Lyrics:

The sun beats down, reminding me 
I've wasted all the winter days
I wish someone would hold me close / Through the suffering I chose
Were I went the other way

The universe should get a treat
Giving karmic justice away
A lazy man just getting by, Dosen't have the luck to die
Make him sit and watch and stay

I saw a poem claim the heat
is worth the pain for breezes, sweet.
I've never understood at all

Elements controlling fate
Can only make me hesitate
I always end up feeling small

There's only two that I would say
Would care if I take my leave
The first are those who saw my birth, Teaching me to live on earth,
Obligated love for me

The other meets a saddened fate, 
she "Missed the forest for the trees"
A man of glass would pick her up, but broke in shards, small as dust
The guilt caused her to feel weak

She tried to build it once again
Too much time she had to spend 
Wishing for smiles to fill her day

She holds my eye atop her hand
a droplet falling off the end
She has to learn, it's not ok

Consequences (Acoustic Sample)

Your smile is a golden cell
A secret I'll never tell
A girl who lived in magic, surely met the tragic
When that curtain fell

The scent of an ocean breeze
The cute burst of her sneeze
The warmth upon my skin, That first had lured me in
brought me to my knees

I know it's just a notion, whatever your devotion
Could you use your strength to please, set me free?

My heart lies in your palm
The only place it's calm
Too weak when it's alone, when thrust inside a home,
gracious as a psalm
///
Childish days have passed
Nothing is going fast
I'll stay a little while, and try to make you smile,
try to make it last

Everything Is A Metaphor (Acoustic Sample)

The Look Chills Me

Lyrics:

The calendar says at me, "pick up the knife, 
I'll always be flipping one page at a time
you cannot outrun me, you've already died
with your lost opportunities, 3 years behind."

The smug condescension, I know it's the truth
affixed in the mirror, I study the proof. 
At age 24, one's practically elderly
caught in the quicksand: sixty-hour weeks

(chorus)
It was a bad bet waking up, I shouldn't have been so tough.
It was a bad bet waking up, I shouldn't have pushed my luck.

Lies, they're only lies - that we each have something worthwhile inside
you've gotta fight to leave a mark. Step on heads and then preach to those who are stuck in the dark,
they are the means of your strength, your self-satisfaction, all pieces in man's unholy invention
so you tell them they're better, then they listen and try, but you know they're lies; only lies.

Oh love, if you love me, when I fall asleep
around my neck your sweet digits will creep,
then smile to yourself as you suck out the light
the angel I prayed for, come in the night. 

Bad Bet

I Refuse To Name This (Acoustic Sample)

Take Comfort In The Consistency

I'll Sleep Well If I Think Of You

Don't know what the heck genre to put this under so whatevs.

Lyrics:

Heavy is my head
The days have worn me down
it's not fatigue, it's apathy
I may have to drown


drown in your hair,
or in despair
the gap in air where I'm alone 
no one's th-inking in that tone

let me read the story, of all the ones who lost
the "hero" is a role so overplayed
Romanticize the average, so I can have hope
a world where I can relate

We hide it all
behind the wall
around our hearts it's like a curse,
emotionally risk-adverse


I'm scared of every shadow 
though I don't care for my life
I see myself as nothing, but never can I hide

always, there is a part of me that wants to be alive
not as I am now, but something new
like a first time

My heart is racing, all from nothing
heavy is my head
I speed to try and catch the light, like missing it means death

And yes you think it's awful, but it's always on my mind
Is life really worth living
if I miss it, and I'm left behind

How Athens Left Me

Had a lot of trouble playing this one. There are several guitar mistakes and my vocals are bad as always, but I still think this is a decent song.

Lyrics:

pile up the stones
I will try to own
every grain that falls to me

sew the cloth I tore
balk at what I swore
spread the dolor evenly  

I always knew, a dark room  - with blues and greens on the walls -
I always knew it was true, the silence made it through

flower saphire
only made for her
light up the skin on her heart

starve your famished blood
drink like its a flood
sadness makes a better art

pile up the stones
I will make them into my home.

Stones (Acoustic)

Don't know what genres to put this under.

Not With Them (Demo Mix)

Routines

An Open Air Dance

Hobbyist songwriter.  These tracks are samples. Always looking for collabs/producers to work with! I write pop, electronic, alternative, video game, and neoclassical music. (Separated in lists). I'm not a singer! I just sing for demo purposes.

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