A long, long time ago, in the year 2009, a brand new college was finished up
Cause Charles Duncan had some dough, to leave a tribute to his home,
And I guess that Duncan Hall was not enough
But McMurtry tried to steal his thunder, 
With it's circular commons and purple colors
But Duncan came out just fine, cause we were LEED Gold Certified
And though you Freshmen were just 14, 
Your futures would be painted green
And you would all agree with me, that Duncan is our home

(Chorus)
So my, my Duncan College is fly
All our doubles are enormous and we rock at beer bike
We worship the sun god and reach up to the sky, 
And we'll be kangaroos our whole life
We'll bleed gold and green till we die

Did you write the beer pong rules, or do you have an empty box I can use
Cause I've got a naked lap to run
Now do you know if 4B is public space cause I tried to go and find Sanjay
But he made me acting C.J. so he could have fun
Well I know we had 6 people or more, so you got up to close the door
We both were drunk it's true, so we got some pizza from hoot
And on Sunday at the lounge cafe, I said I'd write my FWIS essay
But I just talked till it was late
Oh well, it's only pass/fail

Chorus

Oh Rueben, Kelvin, and now Jeremy led forum down in Game Theory
Where did we even get that name?
And every Wednesday with certitude, Justin tries to get us to show up nude
But out defense of Baker 13 puts others to shame
Now NOD was coming real soon,
So we met at the masters to talk with the dudes
We all agreed to dance, without wearing any pants
And when it was time to take DIFF-E, we lost all electricity
But when the power came back I was ten drinks deep
Looks like, I'm not studying

Chorus

Monday Night Lights gave me the blues cause I had so much Orgo to do
And all I wanted was to eat some s'mores
We throw two parties every year, but only one of them has beer
Still better than whatever McMurtry has in store
And although Weiss is really rich, and Will Rice wins Beer Bike,
And Baker has a kitchen,
And though were not as tall as Sid,
We still have Jesus, The Crazy and The Bad Kids
And the adult team I admire most,
Luis, Suzanne, the Pascuzzis, the McDaniels and Michael Barlow,
Love us like crazy and always post
On #Duncan whenever they have food

Chorus x2

Duncan Pie

once upon a time
you drank some wine
threw a balloon at leebron and got fined
didn’t you?

people would get irate, say you’ve had too much, mate
you’re bound to pass out in your bed at eight
but they were all just, 
kidding you

you used to take shots of jack
while everybody else was holding back
now you don’t serve hard alcohol
cause some freshman passed out on your spanish crawl
you’re rusticated now, and all the servery food, you must steal

how does it feel?
how does it feel’s
to be ten shots in?
before 10 am?
to be treated for shock?
like a rolling rock!

aw you’ve gone to the quirkiest school, you’re here
ranked 18th as of last year but Vanderbilt
doesn’t have cute asian girls

and the administration’s trying to make us conform
to the norm set by schools in the north but they don’t
have fucking weird squirrels

you filled balloons for
five straight days
and only threw 24
at justin’s face
and that new mohawk looks awfully suspect
you’ll probably get as much pussy as
martel gets respect
you’ve received an m.i.p, now to ucourt you must appeal

how does it feel?
how does it feel?
to drink bud light from a cup?
to drink natty till you’ve thrown up?
to be out of shiner boch?
like a rolling rock!

well the biker’s have gone by and i’m not sure
who’s in what place and what’s the score but i haven’t
succumed to exhaustian
and they better have way more papa john’s than last year
i got full on beer and had to eat a 
vegetarian option

no i don’t have a wristband
just fill it up
you’d better only drink water
from your teacup
cause dean hutch will come down on you like a storm
barring you from eating lunch anywhere but your own dorm
but until then let’s party like the liquor ban
has been repealed

how does it feel?
how does it feel?
to run out of solo cups?
before the sun’s come up?
to be asleep by 1 o clock?
like a rolling rock!


Like A Rolling Rock

Lyrics:

well i’m headed to texas, my parents are crying
i’m hoping they’ll leave cause there’s a cute girl i’m eyeing
can’t remember my college but i pray to god it’s not hanszen
well i made it through leebron’s speech only slept for 10 minutes
thought about her until dean hutch was finished
and i’m hoping for Skype so i can break up with my high school girlfriend tonight

so rock me momma like I’m a senior
rock me like you’re not my advisor
hey, momma rock me
rock me momma like I'm the coadvisor
you've had awkward sexual tension with since may of last year
hey, momma rock me

you woke me up early for mock beer bike
wearing nothing but a sports bra and some paint on your side
that i couldn’t quite read but i think it said ‘fuck mcduncan’
and i know that you like me cause you told me to find you
on dis-o for drinking in a safe environment
no need to tell the chief justice, it'll just be us two

so rock me momma like i’m not your baby
but you can call me baby if it's in a sexy kind of way
hey, momma rock me
rock me in fondren during syllabus week
the librarians might see but thats okay cause i'm a freak
hey, momma rock me

picking out my classes, you show me the schedule planner
i think i’ll jump into orgo so we can study together
i know that it’s hard, but if we study enough, my gpa won’t be the only thing you see growing
well i know that it’s incest and we’d better behave
but i can’t resist the girl who puts the pump in pumpkin grades
and if we get caught, well who wants to be a fucking coordinator anyway

so rock me momma I know your purity score
is like 16 or 17 need I say more
hey, momma rock me
rock me in my double now I know it's not ideal
but my roommate is an archi so he'll probably never be there
hey, momma rock me

rock me momma, now i know you get it on
cause when i stalked you on Facebook i found a pic of you at NOD
hey, momma rock me
rock me momma, we were meant for this
if i could redo the roommate form you’d be my torrid relationship
hey, momma rock me


Subterranean O-Week Blues

The innaugral edition of my mom's movie reviews, on the new Tina Fey/Amy Poehler comedy, "Sisters."

Score:  3/10

Gladys Rodriguez goes to the movies and then talks about them - "Sisters"

Episode two of my mother's film reviews, on the Jennifer Lawrence success story drama, "Joy".

Score: 4.5/10

Gladys Rodriguez goes to the movies and then talks about them - "Joy"

My mom breaks down the next film in the boxing drama Rocky series, "Creed".

Score: 6/10

Benjamin Huber-Rodriguez