A Fireless Camp

I hold the pose,
Through a fearsome surge of pain,
And call upon the water,
To come, take away all that has run its course,
Emancipated from the familiar,
I take a step into the unknown...

The Cleansing

Absorption

Void Walk

Unconscious Motion [Instrumental]

Unfamiliar Transmission [Instrumental]

A somewhat obvious fact that’s becoming more apparent: emotions are not localized in thoughts, but extend down into the body.

Traces of the past get lodged within palaces of muscle and bone, and get stuck there. 

Even if mentally, you’ve moved on from a certain event, the emotional signature lingers and propagates the pain that brought it into existence.

This afternoon, I was overcome by the feeling of being stuck. I sat, locked in place, unable to move. There was a long list of things I wanted to do, but couldn’t bring myself to do any of them.

All the while, inside of me, there was an unpleasant feeling: Was it sadness, loneliness, or despair? I couldn’t tell. All I knew was that I wasn’t feeling good. Locked in place, I drifted off to sleep.

Some time later, I woke up. My throat was parched and I felt guilty. It was almost 6pm and I hadn’t done most of the things I had planned to do.

I turned the tap, filled a glass and watered my throat. In that moment, I recognized the problem: I was disconnected from my body. I put on a body scan meditation guided by Jon Kabat-Zinn, unfurled the yoga mat and lay down, listening.

I shifted my awareness from my thoughts into my body, turn by turn visiting every part. I became aware of the density of my bones, the flow information in my nerves and the gentle pulsing of my bloodstream.

I noticed the feedback loop between my physical processes and my thoughts: how wreckages from past traumas manifested as strange contractions.

I allowed my breath to pass slowly, gently and evenly across the entirety of my being, dissolving the points of constriction.

With each breath, the blockage opened and created space for renewed circulation.

In that moment, I was greeted with the impulse to make music.

Interoception

You Are Life

To know this realm, seek nature. To know all realms, seek source.

The Light That Dances Around You

Fountain of Supply

"Constantly mastering his mind, the man of yoga grows peaceful, attains supreme liberation, and vanishes into my bliss."

Entropic

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