Rap Battles

Psy Vs Kim Jong UN: ARB

Bet you didn't see this one coming...

Cast:
Target: Supercoolguyjoe
Walmart: Justin Buckner
K-Mart: Nathan Provost
GameStop: RLYoshi
Toys R' Us: LazySundayPaper
Sam's Club: A good friend 
Walgreen's: MCGamingFTW
Kroger: WoodenHornets
Costco: HarryPotter2875
Mall: Mat4yo



EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WALMART
VERSUS
TARGET
BEGIN

Target Employee:
I expected more from your shitty corporation
But I payed less, you have no high expectations
Always low prices? Bullshit, you know that's a lie
when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie
Wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star
Your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar
Get ready, Wal-Mart, I'm gonna stomp you into a flea market
I'll pull out my bow, because you are my next Target

Wal-Mart Employee:
Talk about pay less when your economy is high
Saying "Here pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie!"
You sell expired food, and you're calling me a fraud?
I'm the true superstore, scrap that, supergod
Save money and live better when I kick your ass, I'm lovin' it
Serving you frying rhymes with a Big Mac
I've got prices that go down lower than your mother
I expected more from you, stay on target, you bugger

K-mart Employee:
Attention, Kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie
The ass-kicking of Target and Wal-Mart for half price, limited time only
My cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants
With these big gas savings, you'll be left in a trance
I got a gas station, a car wash, and a café!
This shit ain't about the price tags, yeah, listen to Jessie J
Discount your lines from this battle, Kmart's the one who'll win,
My raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin

GameStop Employee:
GameStop it already, you so-called corporations
Before I Bioshock you, Super Smash you like a PlayStation
You think you're superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced?
Have a five-dollar coupon and a Wii Points Card; buy yourself a life
My shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names
Micromania, MovieStop, Babbage's, EB Games
I've got an Impulse to tell you all that I'm the greatest retailer
So prepare to get crushed when I bring power to the players

Toys R' Us Employee:
KKKKKKK, yeah, shut the heck up and park it
Go back to your clan, and step out of the black market
I only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in,
You break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning
You close your shop at 11 to have a break, I'm open all night,
 The only time I'd be a customer is to tell you I'm always right
I may be Toys R Us, but this battle belongs to me!
Screw Target and the 'marts, I make little kids happy!

Sam's Club Employee:
You can call me Sam's Club, bitch, I got the ultimate deals
Crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals
I'll put your ass on blast, you two marts and shit, selling everything on clearance just to market it
I'll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherfuckers should know never to come at this
And GameStop, get real, what's with your shitty ass trades?
I'm attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days
And what's your giraffe ass gonna do? Splash me with a water gun?
You're just a Toys R' Us Bitch, insert pedophile pun

Walgreen's Employee:
Alright motherfuckers, welcome to Walgreen's
I'm the dopest pharmacy store, that you've done ever seen
I have a hell load of customers, but enough time to fuck you up.
I'll diss every aspect of you, from Wal-Fart to Gay-Stop
What would you guys be without me? Just one pile of shit
My service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it
We bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors
I'll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty-five dollars


Kroger Employee:
You cheesy crappy supermarkets ain't seen nothing yet
I've got better products than all of you, we don't even need to bet
What the hell is a Sam's Club? Man, just merge yourself with BJ's
You faggots, you literally proved that stores can be gays
You think you can outnumber me? Ha, you're really out of luck
If you're not satisfied with the product, I don't give a fuck
Toys R Us likes little kids? Huh, what a perv
This final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served

Costco Employee:
Clear your shelves, I'll shut you down, I'll be the number one retailer
 I'd say the same for you, but you're all just failures
These rhymes are just a sample of what I can do to you
I'll cream you punks and turn you into quality food
We're VIP, only the best deserve to enter
You drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a Dementor
You can't win, it's impossible; I'm afraid you've lost yo
So drop like my prices and bow down to Costco

Mall Security:
The greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call?
If you think you won't fall, then suck this mall's balls
I've been around for ages, yet you call yourself history?
When I was built, all you faggots wanted to come inside of me
Where else can you get a video game and a meal?
A mall is filled with everything, it's pretty much the best deal and
Without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live,
SO be thankful, otherwise I've got no K's to give
Wal-Mart, I got Paul Blart, Target, you're not God.
You aren't o-K-mart and GameStop's just got COD
Step into my food court, you won't be acquitted
Cause you're Walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you're all bitches just admit it
Isn't it a gimmick when you're pinning down the king
You're just little prick thrift shops, who think you can win it
Well it's time to lock up for the night, your shift's done
I've put you all out of business, and there are no refunds

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Walmart vs Target. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 30.

Battle of the talk show hosts. Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich.

RLYoshi as Jerry Springer
Nathan Provost as Maury Povich
Justin Buckner as Dr. Phil

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JERRY SPRINGER
VERSUS
MAURY POVICH
BEGIN!

Maury Povich:
Now would everyone sit down, I'll tell you a story
"Maury Eviscerates Jerry", warning: it's slightly gory
You're a ripoff of Oprah Winfrey, you're a dead ringer
Serious pain is what I'll bring, you're going down, Jerry Springer
On your show, everyone's fighting, it's like glorified MMA
Here's a Shocking Sex Secret: you're gay!
I'm crushing you, this moment's being Caught on Tape
But you just keep sliding down that stripper pole, you skank

Jerry Springer:
It's time to reveal a piece of baggage, this won't be a shock
Maury is having A Current Affair with Rupert Murdoch!
You hosted a rigged quiz show, congratulations, bro
Well let me take the fact you blow and shove it in your face for show
You've got episodes and episodes about transsexuality
Now who are you to judge, ho? Just let it be
You're trying to act all serious by talking about gangs and shit
Well Maury Povich this is it, I recommend you just quit!

Maury Povich:
Just because Wilkos was security, you shouldn't act tough
You're a musician? Yeesh! Isn't your talk show bad enough?
All you do is sit in a chair and watch people wrestle
Your dad owned a shoe shop? Well wasn't your family successful!
You're looking stressed, why don't you take a breather
Don't wanna watch your own show? Gee, me neither!
You can't be fixed, loony, why do I even bother?
You've fucked up, Springer, and you ARE the father!

Jerry Springer:
Yeah, I have a kid, but he's legitimate, asshole
Just like one of those teenage girls you're out of control!
Time for the hard truth, Maury, you have no reason to live
And your rhymes are even worse than the advice you give!
I'm a true entertainer, take some lessons from me
I'll knock you right off the air and end your trash TV
You need to calm your ass down, man, you're getting too pissed
You're a psychologist if you take out the -logist

Dr. Phil:
Okay, you've had your glory, now you can give it all to me
I'm Dr Phil, and you need some help with your psychology
Now I'm not the kind of guy to say "Let's talk about your mother"
But as of last night, I guess you could say I'm her lover
Rumors spread like wildfire, but this one ain't bullshit
I know that you two are having a gay relationship
You two are so crazy it should be considered heresy
My lines will make you depressed you'll need my therapy
Your faces I will shatter and your ashes I will scatter
I just wanted to let you guys know, that you don't matter
I went in for the kill, since I can do things you can't fulfill
Problem solved, my new book, Defeated Fools by Dr. Phil

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 32.

SORRY FOR UPLOADING AUDIO LATE!

SuperThingsOnCups as MARIO
RLYoshi as Sonic.exe

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
SONIC.EXE!
VS!
MARIO!
BEGIN!

Mario:
It’sa me Mario, that’s the name of the game,
Tom got scared of you? HA! what a fucking shame!
I’ll make your eyes not able to be found,
and play hide and seek, to not play the second round
This is my point of advice, you are gonna fucking lose,
Tails, Knuckles, and Eggman is more scarier than you.
There’s no way out of here, so you can’t fly away,
Go ahead and find me, I’ll just make this face.

Sonic.exe:
It must be a sunny afternoon, feel the heat?
the jpeg was weak, so I’mma unleash the beast.
You 2 foot tall round plumber, I’m better than you,
so suck my weiner, A.K.A. SMW.
-M-A-R-I-O- you’re a joke, bro, you blow,
I am about to crunch you like Yoshi’s binary code.
I'll rip off your mustache and stick it it up your ass
you're too slow bitch, I'll murder you fucking too fast

Mario:
Letsa go! I’m gonna stomp you hard like a goomba,
your game is boring while mine is truly super!
Just face the fact that I’m better than you,
atleast my fucking story was actually true!
Welcome to the yellow switch trail! you’ll never get out fast,
I can make 1,000 disses when I play in the grass!
It might be Mario’s Suicide, but you’re still gonna die,
you think you’ll win? but is there anything I can do to change your mind?

Sonic.exe:
Those bitches and me in the same sentence? WHAT A RIOT!
I see you're looking for a win here, JUST FUCKING TRY IT!
Nobody in our realm can out spook me,
All your friends will be dead on the quick count of three.
I see your life's a strife, but I don't need no knife,
I'm comin' in fast, better hold on tight.
I’ll find you, then I’ll rip you up with my claws,
and rip off your head and say I AM GOD!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC. RAP. BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Sonic.exe vs MARIO. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Nathan Provost as Hoody
Froggy7771 as Masky

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
HOODY!
VS!
MASKY!
BEGIN!

Hoody:
You're crappy Masky, you ain't having much luck
Your face is so fucking ugly, you need a mask to cover it up
When you could use a bag under your fucking shitty ass head
You're lucky to be alive but I wish you were dead
I will kill you when you are trying to sleep in a car
You couldn't take it seriously, but I've took it too far
Oh! you're a human while I'm a proxy? That doesn't mean you're good
Try to mess with me Masky, I'm from the hood

Masky:
I murdered my friend, that means I'm tough to take on you
Oh, you shot Alex? There's no need to be rude
I'm ripping through you, dude! You were born shit
And I'm bout to lyrically kick you in your marble hornets!
Those red eyes will match your body when I'm done with you
I'm disappearing, you're a queer, and i'll kick your ass, dude
Am I Tim? You'll never know! You could NEVER unmask me
But, now you're bout to have to pay the price of facing Masky

Hoody:
Your rhymes are so fucking boring, they make me cough
Your life is like my rhymes, 'cause it's about to drop
You can't match Hoody, you asshole-masked excuse for a buddy
In this next found footage, you'll be ripped, torn and bloody

Masky:
You can't handle my mask, so just step back
I'm cracking your code, bitch, in this vicious rap attack
When i snap your neck, I'll make those big-ass eyes flinch
Just know you can never mess with Tribe Twelve, bitch!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Hoody vs Masky. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Frankenstein’s Monster:
LEGO set from pizzeria against me? In no mood to play!
I choke you with your own wires, this time you thrown away!
You don’t spit ill, ironic with fandom so toxic
Step to me, get neck snapped like toy, Foxy
Flow gold like Fredbear, I give you the death stare
Try to be terrifying, but map bots make people scared
We have characters with same names, is that coincidental?
But now ripping-off Jekyll and Hyde with a sun—I’m skeptical!
This monster leaves your FNaF World Glam-rocked
Toss you out like Bonnie and leave your mouth springlocked
It’s not ‘84, but you still come to me and bite?
Rule34 puts real meaning to “getting quirky at night”
I murder William in one night, I bring father to tears
You killed by William in one night, you can’t kill him for years! (raaah!)
Once upon a time, your game scary and eerie
Then people got confused because of gender and Game Theory!

Mangle:
Better fix your grammar if you want to fight this A.I.
Illiterate Shrek is nothing compared to my franchise
Damn right, you’re on candid camera, so sit tight
And I just might let you survive until the fifth night
You killed an innocent man and let the servant get slaughtered
Then you beg for a girlfriend, but she gets tossed in the water
Thought you’d get revenge on dad by killing Elizabeth
Well now I’m here, the one you shouldn’t have dissed!
Your lines are just like your clothes: old and shabby
While this hot-headed machine is spitting colder than daddy
In this battle you’re my Puppet because you’re no Music Man
Make lyrics that are less withered if you wanna join this band
Your story is complete trash, I’ll shove it in Chica’s beak
My timeline’s less complex than the reasons behind this freak
After listening to you, I can see why you were abandoned
You’re a Nightmare to your father who he wishes he kept dead!

Frankenstein’s Monster:
It’s shocking this machine still hanging around
Well this phantom not fantastic; my raps will burn you down
Be like Scott and retire ‘cause this battle make me tired
My story liked for years with no help from Markiplier

Mangle:
No amount of zapping could make this idiot bright
So quick to murder Henry, but no so quick with your lines
And when your enemy dies, you resort to suicide?
You've reached the very end, but you're not the victor, Frankenstein!

Cast/Crew:
SPM1000 as Frankenstein’s Monster
JesseBox as Mangle
Written by DonivideR & SPM1000
Mixed by Light
Beat by Marsad Men
Art and Cover by Grasman

Frankenstein's Monster vs. Mangle - Crazy Diss Wars

Happy Holidays everyone! We're back again with a seasonal classic, it's the salty sea scourge, Blackbeard, pitted against everyone's favorite and iconic Christmas time mascot, Santa Claus! Enjoy!

CAST
Mancha as Santa Claus
Mr. Tibbs as Blackbeard

LYRICS:
SANTA:
Some fruit for your crew, some crackers for Polly
Leave hooks for the good, diss tracks for the naughty
Take a seat on my lap and let's get down to business
Tell me little Eddie, what would you like for Christmas

BLACKBEARD:
This saint he be missin’ what I want for christmas, I want to be like you (Yar)
Cop treasure aplenty, rob corporate plenty, booty for you and yer crew (Bars)
Can you spare a few doubloons from pockets deeper than the deep blue?
Now that ye wouldn’t do, Nick, it’s ye I see through cuz
Your ho-ho-hokie shit is so below me Davy Jones be
Drowning, he be choking on the sickly sweet baloney 
Yee be feedin’ to the children like yer more than just a fable
Christian pricks pitting their kids like several Cain & fucking Abels
Over gifts they get in scores, cause they did a couple chores
But they all tend to ignore, the creep peepin’ through their door
As you rummage through their drawers, hoggin’, downing all the noggin
Step away from the stockin’, Nick, it’s time for a floggin’

SANTA:
Ho ho hold up, I can’t stand the lies you spin cause
I won’t take the slag off the seadog who put the virgin in Virginia
Mad your shabby shanties don't match with my carol lines, huh?
Go take a Bath, not talking the Carolinas
Lit without the coal. Kick you in the south pole, but
It’s not on the pole with ya, Buy Coca Cola 
Pop your head like a screw-off cuz it’s best if you cruise off
Catch me on the roof, dog. Red dot on you like Rudolph
When I come in commandeering the deer and sleigh I’m seen in
Being loved by the masses is the only care I be in
But this scallywag wouldn’t know how that feels; unfortunate
Where’s your Christmas cheer? Keep your head up, as an ornament 
 
BLACKBEARD:
I owned the high seas, ye dined on milk and sweets
Wouldn’t hurt to spare a couple to the elves and Black Pete
A fate worse than with the fishes when all you get is hershey kisses
I be gettin’ naughty listed when I set sail with yer missus

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Blackbeard vs Santa Claus | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

Welcome back everyone to the New Year! To kick off this (hopefully) busy year of GRB, we bring you Professor Oak vs John Madden, the Super Bowl special! This was written back in 2020 so not only is it written in a fairly old style, it was also written before the death of Madden. We mean no disrespect to him even though there is quite a lot of insults thrown his way. I hope you all enjoy!

CAST:
Swizkii as John Madden
Zawesome as Professor Oak

LYRICS:
JOHN MADDEN:
Alright, break, line up, we’ve only got four quarters
To take down an old man, too scared to be a real explorer
You’ve got a lot to learn before you step to the pros
It’s as much in the heart as it is the X’s and O’s
So here’s a guy who’s studied pocket freaks all his life
Who sends a kid away so he can bang a widowed wife
Your best invention’s an index and you still miss some info
Like don’t stick your head out a moving car window
I’ve thought of thousands of plays and plans for each game
You’ve learned 150 critters, but not your grandson’s name
Now it’s the end of my verse, let me give you the rundown
I’ve scored first on your ass, an opening drive touchdown

PROFESSOR OAK:
Hello there, welcome to the world of battle rap
I’m Professor Oak, fly enough to dish out wing attacks
When I rhyme, you decide between getting flamed, drowned, or vine whipped
You only touchdown when you drop your bag of chips
Oh, that’s new, my Pokédex just tracked an intrusion
An overweight, lazy, bastard; a Snorlax evolution
You’ll feel the Wrath when you’re spinning like a Poliwhirl
With those boobs I can’t tell if you’re a boy or you’re a girl

JOHN MADDEN:
I’ve got the cutting edge to chop Oak down to size
You can’t win a rap battle if you don’t flow on the mic
I’ll knock you on your ass like WHAM! BANG! BOOM!
I’m rocking more bootlegs than you got in kids’ bedrooms
Your studies get put to shame when a child claimed your fame
So get your head out of your ass and get your head in the game

PROFESSOR OAK:
Hey You, Drinkachu, you’re about to get zapped
When I pic my opponent, me and my Pokémon Snap
I already said I’m fly so you must have had enough of me
If not, I’ll be flipping this square like it’s Puzzle League
For a color commentator, you seem pretty pale
And when EA's in the game, that's an automatic fail
Now your fame was Raided before you knew what was happening
Even got kicked off the box art, it must be Madden-ing
I roll like a Voltorb; sparking tracks with my rhymes
You’ve been Super Bowled over, the box score never lies

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Professor Oak vs John Madden | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

Dream vs. SuperFastJellyFish - Mario vs. Anything!

JustGamer As Dream 

Jofinity As SuperFastJellyFish

Cri As Antfrost 

RaccoonBroVA As BadBoyHalo 

Rosenthal As Sapnap 

Rayyan As GeorgeNotFound 

Written by King Ducky & King Wallace

Writing assistance from SuperGamerBro

Beat prod. Anywaywell & Glitchdude

Dream:
Oh George! Who’s this trying to step to me on my SMP?
I’m used to being the hunted, but now I will show no empathy
No more fans of yours, cuz they all speedran away
For how good you are at finding subs, you lost your whole damn fanbase 

What kind of fucking grandma resorts to facebook gaming
Left in the dark like a moon jelly, but seafood’s what I’m craving
You rode the wave of controversy like a pitiful bitch (Hey!)
Now it's left this jellyfish washed up, that's a MoistCritikal hit! (Hey!)

SuperFastJellyFish:
Claiming I crave attention? Check all the tweets you’re making
And I, think I must mention how you got flamed by some bacon
Guess finding seeds and cheating runs in the family, your mom was tastin’ 
The bonemeal I fed her when I was as rock hard as Clay’s clay chin!

Like all Minecraft Youtubers you were faced with allegations
Such a touchy subject adjacent to all your racist statements
From your manhunts to your burger, you’ve always remained tasteless (Ugh)
Forget the 5 second fame, this fake bitch shoulda stayed faceless!

Can’t stop the toxic doxxing, no increased rate of diss dropping
With an avatar so bland, normal pills are what you’re popping!
Stans, say that you’re mythical while saying criticisms typical
Even managed to rig the polls even tho the glow squid is dull!

Antfrost: 
Your blindfold runs got deleted faster than you got bullied off the net
BadBoyHalo: 
Played it off as a joke but you're the joke with nothing left, you muffinhead!
Sapnap: 
In your apology, you’re seethrough like your blindfold, clearly not fucking sad
George: 
Despite my color blindness I’d find that you acting blue was just a sham!

Dream: 
And we're topping him unlike the blanket he refused to drop on his head
Which only led to him getting bombarded quick with hate that his comments left
The common thread between all of the awful problems that he mocks up is
It’s obvious! His viewers are just coddled kids and brutally honest fans

Said your cheating was intentional, my alibi’s more watertight
But I’ve got a sub count to overshadow yours, shocker, right?
You’ve got no clout, my manhunt plays are as iconic as my mask is
This odd1sout of the picture, guess that’s the point of the casket

SuperFastJellyFish:
By watertight, do you mean trapped up in a bathtub?
No mathematician is needed to tell you that your runs don’t add up!
Stole Tommy’s discs, but still cant spin a track, huh?
The next Minecraft Unsolved should be on how you have a fanclub! (Let's-a-go!)

You shouldn't've have messed with me, I’ll end you like your SMP
You’ve always had issues with ships, whether it’s George or MCC
Eventually you'll be forgotten so make like this mic and drop it
And I'll leave you in peace, pleading with Beast to get an ounce of profit (Yahoo!)

Dream vs. SuperFastJellyFish - Mario vs. Anything!

Welcome to episode 2 of TableTop Rap Battles, where these absorbers of orbs take bites out of each other!

Danii as Hungry Hungry Hippos
https://www.youtube.com/@SwaggyFlan
Fightmarker as Pac-Man
https://www.youtube.com/@fightmarker

Written by Quizzique
Mixed and Mastered by Zagranis
Beat prod. by InsaneBeatz
Art by WAN
Thumbnail by Quiz

Hungry Hungry Hippo (0:11)
If you wanna win the game, you gotta take good aim
Not roam around a maze searchin’, for some ghosts to maim
It’s a household name, with the childhood acclaim
You think you’re the same, but your console fame is down the drain

It’s a race, it’s a chase, hurry up and feed my face
The only phantom here’s your cabinets now haunting the arcades
I was entertaining kids before they made your ugly mug
While your memes only pleased Gen Z til you got swept under the Rugg

Pac-Man (0:33)
This hippo with the fattest waist wants to face it up and fight?
It’s a hunk of plastic waste against the greatest of all time
I eat a track like power pellets, better start to flee like Clyde
If you’re so damn hungry hungry then I’ll serve you by the slice

Yo, you say my game’s the ghost while you eat dust at Hasbro
Think you’re family friendly? You got kids slapping your ass, bro
You must’ve lost your marbles, like your film’s producers, they got scattered
Then a child found them, and now your whole gag’s a choking hazard

Hungry Hungry Hippo (0:56)
All those burns are useless, man, I got redeemed by ICE
I eat your flames and spit them back, your fire hydrant won’t suffice
Trapped inside a haunted maze, is eating pellets such a struggle?
When your brand feeds off of you so much, should really call it Nom-co

I’ve got a conga line, you couldn’t conjure lines to buy your shit
Franchise is half-assed, so it makes sense Midway acquired it
This nerd should know he can’t compare to the bite of a hippopotamus
Because my stomach’s like your fall from grace: Bottomless

Pac-Man (1:19)
Your redemption’s like a plastic broken jaw, there still ain’t no budgin’
Shit’s as trusty as your tournaments, they both got Rogue Judges
My fruity power-ups demolish all your Veggies
Cover genres, while your online fanbase is just like your teeth: edgy

They call me Puck Man, you’re just a Piggy Punk, man
You’re outta luck, man, I don’t give a fuck, man
Gaming mascot 1, groups of 3-4, I eat ‘em all
So you can call me Level 256, ‘cus I’m unbeatable

Hungry Hungry Hippos vs Pac-Man - TableTop Rap Battles #2 (ft. Danii and Fightmarker)

ANIME RAP BATTLE

Lady Oscar: EileMonty

Utena Tenjou: KingSpirals

Mixed by: Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Beat by: Audio Network

Written by: Metal and Dusk

Lady Oscar (00:12):
Mon Dieu, this school girl amateur is my challenger.
When it’s clear Madam Juri is more of my caliber!
Unlike you in duels a Jarjayes knows chivalry 
Don’t need to be possessed to win a match properly!
Met your prince and it was the End of the World
Should’ve grown out of Fairy Tales you silly little girl!
At your age I was the model of a top Commander
With Anthys abuse, you’re just a mere bystander
I couldn’t care less about your Council affairs 
Or about how your greatest foe is a flight of stairs!
Now I got no shame in attacking your concepts
Ikuhara looked at me and added artsy nonsense!
Ditched the Courts to etch my name in history
To your talebearing school, you’re just another mystery!
Crawl back in your coffin before you try to flow
Which of us is really Revolutionary Miss Tenjou?!  

Utena (00:57): 
Wow that verse flopped, did Jacques ghostwrite?
Well I shouldn’t expect much from Maries white knight!
Don’t dare talk of Revolution like you set the bar
Had more drive than you when I was a literal car!
Crafted my destiny without wealth and privilege
Disappointed dad so much he made you in his image!
The snooty balls you attend bore me to tears
While I’m straight up ballin 'and dunking on my peers!
Gave my oppressors their deserved karma 
You splatter sparkles and call that trash drama!
Thought Wakaba had bad taste but then I see
You going full bootlicker for a tyrannical Swede 
Claim to be immortal in history, but in reality
To Robespierre you’re just another casualty
In spite of your protests and insistent pride
Only a blind man would make you their Rose Bride!

Lady Oscar (1:42):
Andre is my beloved through and through
Though Touga chose drowning over loving you!
That Academy of yours shouldn’t be boasted
Cause you’ll be its 101st Duelist to be roasted!

Utena (01:53):
Woah your Nanami impression has been pretty killer
This pompous cow has spat nothing but filler!
A Royal Guard Commander shouldn’t be this reckless
I fuck over French nobles like a Diamond Necklace!

Lady Oscar:
I’m not surprised this brat resorts to vulgarity
Such a brute compared to my lovely Rosalie!

Utena (2:04):
Oh it’s ironic how you think to mention her
When you didn’t have the gall to save her sister!

Lady Oscar:
By God, I shall reunite you with your parents!

Utena:
And I’ll reunite you with those angered peasants!

Lady Oscar:
Au Revoir, I end battles with a clean decapitation!

Utena:
I’ve cut down this Rose! Like Toei Animation

Oscar vs Utena - ANIME RAP BATTLES #9

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ-lWPY9D18

Scott:
Hey all Scott here! And before you try to ban me
See I'm contractually obligated to one more battle with Bandy
But something I have trouble understanding is his experience with rapping
Cause he's done youtube long before me…what the f*ck happened
Your buddy lives with boulders, and you? Under a rock…
I didn’t take you as the type to be entertaining, oh you’re not
I mean you were an OG creator something like we hadn't seen before
But all of your old vids seemed to age as well as the Nintendo 64

Nathaniel:
Did Nintendo not realize that battle mode should be balanced
But I’ve already conquered Mario, so Kamek shouldn’t be a challenge
Cause you were Borderline copying my content, cutting out any flavor

Bathaniel:
But think you can rock? 

Nathaniel:
You’re just a blank piece of paper 
From your stupid looking hair to videos, you’ve always sucked at trimming!
Like I don’t want to sit down and watch this loser’s constant bitching
It’s not awesome baby seeing you fail to make your skits slicker
Cause you’d only leave my Mind Blown if I pulled the fricking Trigger!

Scott:
Welcome to the show, tell me, what does this guy not have?

Terry Lesler:
*gunshot* Beef? 

Jerry Attricks:
*gunshot* Therapist! 

Target Employee:
*gunshot* Job at Target? 

Rex Mohs:
*gunshot* A dad!

Jeb Jab:
*gunshot* Guys, let's be real, the answer’s so obviously Gex!

Scott:
Ooo so close! See, the answer is actually “a f**king job”
I mean sure we've collabed a few times but I hardly call us rivals
So yeah I enjoy your content… I also wrote the Bible
A guy with no personality, making top 10 lists and ranking vids
And you’re striving for originality?

Nathaniel:
Can’t talk originality when you’ve ripped Jon and The Nerd

Jerry Attricks:
Hey, you should check them out, they're pretty good from what I've heard

Nathaniel:
You wasted 2 hours of my time just to talk about your childhood junk?!
Not even in Maple Treeway was I jacking myself off this much
Thinking this Chicken could Shoot anything hurtful is abhorrent
Cause he’s as fragile as a Pop-Tart that I’d slam against my forehead
How will Nathaniel win? Pretty easily cuz you can’t handle me!
Brand new vid Top 10 times Scott lost to Nathaniel B

Credits:
Cri as Scott The Woz
Dan as Nathaniel Bandy

Cri as Jerry Attricks, Target Employee, and Terry Lesler
Dan as Bathaniel Nandy, Rex Mohs, and Jeb Jab

Written by Taiga and Powerofdan
Demo’d by Taiga
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat rearranged by Powerofdan
Special Thanks: Harry

Scott The Woz vs Nathaniel Bandy (Powerofdan Rap Battles)

Thumbnail created by: Matthew
Mixed by: Matthew

WHO WON?
https://rb.gy/3s4ek

docs.google.com/document/d/1QlxXtURULGYfPteARDyjWimmeQuqxnQeakclhxSD5_I

Chao vs. Matthew

original battle: https://soundcloud.com/user-953382854/cheshire-cat-vs-schrodingers

this battle singlehandedly convinced me that rosenthal is a goat and made me wanna collaborate with them, so this is a way for me to return the favor 

mix and cover art by me
beat by libra
everything else by rosenthalfishes

Cheshire Cat (0:14):

I am the Cheshire Cat, welcome to my Wonderland,
You want to battle rap? You must be hatter mad,
'Cause that plan is total cap no matter how you catch these hands.
Chess to your boxing match, tell me what comes after that?

Ah right. Your entire life fades. I think your mind ain’t the right place
Debating ‘bout a quantum space. Complacently my playground is the mental state!
Shove your stupid theories back in your box, you only prove your worth with words and talk!
Here’s an observation I made when I looked at you, your win is totally gone!

Schrodinger's Cat (0:40)

Cheshire, you best not mess with an experimental tester
Whether or not you enter my box, you will find you are lesser
Hypothesis of my pseudo-science, you shouldn’t be smiling when you eye my findings
Terrorising a tiny child like your writer then hiding in the lines like you’re pedo-filing, uh!

While my question's quite complex, you’ve literally lost your head. In my thoughts, I’ll
Opt to forget this bothersome pet but I know it’s not possible yet, it’s a toss up
Whether or not the probable end of following disses bodying disembodied
Heads get a fraudulent death, this has brought me ahead! Now, your defence?

Cheshire Cat (1:07)

What? What?
It seems like the real mystery’s whatever the fuck you discuss, ‘cause it must be
Like one big crusty bunch of duds who get stumped by an Amazon package.
Your argument’s like a rabbit, they follow it and your world collapses.

Schrodinger’s Cat (1:21)

You’re not smart enough to understand, you only ponder when it’s part of your Wonderland,
I couldn’t tell if you were intelligent when I looked at ya, y’know, like you’re Looking Glass?
‘Cause when you’re fighting the feline who’s neither alive or reaped, at the sight of me
You’ll fold when I deck ya with speed like the Queen of Hearts, that’s Binocular Rivalry.

Cheshire Cat (1:35)

My words chain like a catenary, cat’s are nary prone to form brawls with adversaries,
But for you? (Yes, you) The situation’s scary. (Yeah!) This foe spits rather hairy! (Uh!)
On the contrary, when you’re comparing us? I choose when I’m not lingering,
You’re a little Sphynx giving a silly riddle. (Who?) Schro’s more Schro-bingus!

Either way, you’ll still be Flopping! They put your ass up for adoption!
Frankly, your mechanic’s more quan-dumb, went from paradox to oxy-moron!
When you start talking, it’ll cause the alarm to detect my diss so toxic,
You’re gonna fail and pass away ‘cause like your later portrayals, you did na-zi your loss, bitch!

Schrodinger’s Cat (2:01)

It’s true that I’m locked in, caught in a awful coffin,
But when I drop bombs in my box, the volume’s up. Call that shit sub-atomic.
‘Cause the chance you beating me ain’t fifty-fifty, the time’s dry.
When it comes down to people I talk to, this kid’s more Liddel Einstein!

I’m the classiest cat in this rap, you’re a sad has-been with a knack for distracting
Madness, you only ever spit Radioactive like my flask does when I Imagine Draggin’
Your flat ass back to the pasture - your past home - pass by your passport, now in the Lowlands,
I’ve seen Manyworlds, but the skill between us is plain to observe - like a Cheshire Gap.

[RAYYAN MIX] Cheshire Cat vs. Shrodinger's Cat  - Rap Battles of Whatever

**HEY, LITTLE GUYS!! IT'S MONTGOMERY GATOR VS ROY KOOPA - RAP BATTLE!!**

DISCLAIMER!!! This has been written and recorded since December last year, so there's NOTHING about the Ruin DLC. If you were hoping for a line about Monty in that uhhh.. Hold on lemme think
“You’re so broke and cheap you look like you do in the DLC!!”
there..

**CREDITS**

Luke Reardon as Montgomery Gator
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LukeReardon12

Cole Thompson (DillyDally) as Roy Koopa
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dillydally.1104  

Video edited by Shimario 
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ShimarioRapBattles

Art by Luke Reardon

Written by Luke Reardon

Beat Produced by Anywaywell

Mixed by Cole Thompson (DillyDally)

Special Thanks to the bhys back at home

**LYRICS**

Monty:
Hey LITTLE GUY (hey!), you think you’re tough? You’re a SMALL FRY! (hey!)
Haven’t seen a kid so weak since a breach in security, you know by the end this KID’LL DIE (hey!)
Your bars probably WRITTEN BY (hey!), a brother with a brain of a BIGGER SIZE (hey!)
No way you’ll dismember this member of the band, remember, 
I’ll pierce through a Koopa with these CLAWS OF MINE          
So what’cha worried for? You’ve been beat before!
I’m SURE that's the reason they leave you outta the COURT
You resort to kart racing, but golf’s my SPORT
So I’ll putt you to Roxy Raceway with my club like FOOOOOORE
That's a hole in one!
Leave a turtle like Bonnie when this rap is done!
I’m Hurricane’s FINEST, my skills are the HIGHEST
Now show me your STYLE KID, I’m quick to go VIOLENT

Roy: 
I’mma show you my style, you plastic crocodile,
Each word will shoot through you just like a missile
Hit you with another lawsuit, Bullet Bills
Send you down to the trash chute, Bully Kills
You’re the lamest villain, and I know you gotta be
How could I be threatened when your name’s Montgomery? 
A golfer with an ego, and the wirings faulty
I’d have harder struggles with a mole named Monty!
You got no legs to stand on, cuz you fell off
The only shady thing about you is the shades you rock
You’re not the star of show, you’re just a Filler Croc
Dude, the paparazzi’d leave you froze in a shock
With an ego so big, it's making me wonder,
Does this mini golf gator got a mini putter?
Damn right I’m a bully, now I’m the croc hunter
Turn you to a purse and make you wish you were kinder

Monty: 
Wow, you gotta bigger mouth than your brother
Thinking you’re something but you’re just like the others
Yeah, you’re in Smash Bros, but you’re not the first Roy,
In every single matchup, you would be the worst choice!
They shoehorned this clown in a CLOWN CAR 
as an alternate costume, cuz your power is ON PAR 
With that of JUNIOR, man, you’re a LOSER
when your daddy thinks a baby’s stronger than YOU ARE
You peaked in 3, when you ruled the sky
But seeing you on the Wii, I can tell you’re dry
Now you’re as big as your mountain, and I mean your size
Your fame’s an illusion, you’re a first boss kinda guy
This Boom Boom didn’t improve,
Hasn’t had a personality since the cartoon
You’ll forever be another enemy in the fleet
Who only takes 3 taps on the head to defeat

Roy: 
DOOOH SHUT UP! I should’ve gone first..
I’m surprised FUNKO never leaked your verse
You’re one to talk, you’re only in one game
Thanks to bugs and your buds, look at what it became!
Freddy ain’t the only one to crash in a performance
Hell, anyone who played crashed from the performance!
No kid’ll choose golf over playing with lasers,
They could be stuck in a maze, or even HAVIN A RACE (EEEERRRRRrrrrrrrr)
…Never mess with a Koopaling!
Each word’s gonna sting like a lock of springs
Dude, even Lemmy got bigger balls than you 
You got crushed by your own when a screw was loose
You look confused, always walking aimlessly
Go unleash your clones, hope they’re not chasing me!
I’m the MAN who’s MANNING the CANNON
who’ll put an END to your story, now my WIN is CANON!

That's it! Hope you enjoyed this battle!

-LewK

Walmart vs Target. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 30.

Epic Rap Battle Parodies

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