The theme song from the epic F This Movie! 400th podcast episode, as heard over on FThisMovie.com

F This Movie

2017

Movie Lovers (Theme from F This Movie! #400)

I almost never do this, but I wrote and recorded this demo in less than 12 hours yesterday (chord progression at lunch, lyrics by bedtime). I recorded it on a propped up iPad in one take, which isn't usually the way to get great results but it works in this case. I have no idea if this will change over time—I might tweak a few words, I'm not completely sold on the ending, and after I came up with the title I found out it's been used on other songs—but I'm happy with how this came out.

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Another early morning siren drags him out of bed
Reach for the phone but slams his thumb into the wall instead
Stares out at the winter rain
That’s coming down again
Freezing on the path
Wonders, will it last?
Or is it nearly past?

Looks in the mirror but the face he sees is not his own
Can't really tell if what's staring back is flesh or bone
He hears footsteps inbound
The echo of a sound
Long since passed away
How long will he stay
Hiding from the day?

I read your story on the news
You didn’t have much time to choose
Between your livelihood
And the only thing that would
Keep you from floating away
Into the rain

Rushed Kitchen Recordings

Winter Rain (Demo)

This song is about a good boy who's getting better. The photo is of my good boy, Mink. He is doing just fine, thanks.

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I saw, saw your video
I saw, saw your head hung low 
And I know it’s much lighter
Than it should be

It’s time. Take your medicine.
It’s time, time to let me in 
I know it’s not about me, but
I miss your style
You turn to me and know you're always on my mind
I want to be kind

And I’m

Happy for the boy (come back home again)
Happy for the boy (feel all right again)
Don’t you worry, boy
Even though you feeling like it’s been such a long time
You’ve got a long time left with me

I’m hap, happy for the good boy
Hap, hap, happy for the good boy

Still got photos of you when
You were so much different then
Now, I see time isn’t stopping
At least not for me

You sit in a special place
You’re all, always in my face, but there’s
No place in our little world I’d rather be
I turn toward you and I know you will be there
Just like tomorrow 

And I’m

Happy for the boy (come back home again)
Happy for the boy (feeling strong again)
Don’t you worry, boy
Even though you feeling like it’s been such a long time
You’ve got a long time left with me

Up against my knee
Sounds I cannot see
Boy, your good vibration’s all I need 

I’m hap, happy for the good boy
Hap, hap, happy for the good boy

Happy for the Boy

Happy For The Boy

Get ready for the seventh annual F This Movie Fest (still the world's only all-Twitter film fest that we are aware of!) with my rocking '80s-inspired song about the fest and the movies from 1989 we're watching this year: UHF, TANGO & CASH, THE 'BURBS, ROAD HOUSE, and BATMAN! 

Learn more and JOIN US at: www.fthismovie.net/2018/01/announcing-f-this-movie-fest-7.html

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Picked up my phone and scrolled through all the latest tweets
Checking to see what's going on
Noticed a hashtag that was blowing up my feed
Gotta say, it sounded fun:
Watching films from ‘89
With all my favorite folks online

A Twitter festival with friends around the globe 
No fancy evening wear required
In a t-shirt, fuzzy sweatpants, and a robe
You'll be appropriat’ly attired
Kick back and put up your feet
Cause all you need to do is tweet!

(Chorus)
Singing: La la la la la!
F This Movie Fest! 
La la la la la!
Feeling hashtag blessed
To be part of the best
Community of lovers of the silver screen

Don’t change the channel. Our first film is UHF
Full of Weird Al gags and songs
Drink from the fire hose, spin the Wheel of Fish
Then we’ll dine on Twinkie dogs
Will George and Stanley save the day?
And how much polka will he play?

(Chorus)

And now here’s Tango & Cash
Two cops who acted rashly
But they got results and found Jack Palance’s stash
Of drugs and guns. Then he finds
A way to put them behind bars
Did I mention it stars Kurt Russell and Sly Stallone?

Meanwhile, over in The ‘Burbs, a mystery
Wherein Tom Hanks comes to suspect
His wacky neighbors aren’t quite what they appear
You just might laugh yourself to death
Don’t go in the house alone
To dig up Dante’s funny bone

(Chorus)

After dinner, Patrick Swayze will appear
In the Road House, looking buff
He’s got no problem if you want to grab a beer
But pick a fight and he'll get tough
Might grab your throat and rip it out
Like Crow T. Robot sang about

Day turns into night. Now Batman’s on the prowl 
In his stiff black rubber suit
It's Michael Keaton hiding underneath the cowl
Prince’s soundtrack is a hoot
Joker’s got the crazy eyes
Spoiler: in the end, he dies!

(Chorus)

La la la la la! 
F This Movie Fest! 
La la la la!
F This Movie Fest! 
La la la la!
F This Movie Fest!

Songs in the Key of F!

F This Movie Fest ('89)

Hot off the brain presses. I came up with the main chord progression first and then built everything else from there. The lyrics circle around the drive to create and the way satisfaction dissipates almost immediately after a song is finished, blown away by the feeling that unless I write another song I risk slipping into irrelevance. Fun AND healthy! But hey, I end up writing a lot of songs and you can't argue with results:

Success is happiness
That lasts a moment then
It's already gone
And if I had to guess
I'd say our problem taking flight
Is we can't cure our fear of heights

Fear of Heights (Demo)

Fear Of Heights (Demo)

Perhaps a sadder song than I meant it to be, but I liked the idea of a person helping their significant other plan a solo vacation. There are fine reasons a person would want some time alone, and in that scenario their partner helping to plan that vacation makes sense. This song is not about that. That said, the person singing this song clearly shares blame for the unhappy relationship. Maybe if he wasn't so focused on the safety of routine he would be going on the vacation as well. Guess we'll need to wait for the sequel:

I was floating in the water 
I was buried in the sand 
Always planning for tomorrow 
Always reaching for your hand
Keep my feet shoulder width apart
So you know just where I stand, and 
So you can always find me

You were busy buying postcards 
Photos of exotic lands
Always scanning the horizon
Always making other plans to
Take a trip to the last resort 
Where you’d slip right through my hands 
         
Now I help plan your vacation from me
I help plan your vacation from me

Hide myself inside the glove box 
Trying to hitch a ride
Tuck myself behind the driver’s side 
Nothing I can do to stop you
So I help you pack
Count your clothes to see how long
Until you're coming back 

Now I’m waiting for your postcards 
Sent from somewhere far away 
Dreaming of a better future 
Thinking back on yesterday
And all the mistakes I made starting 
Long before the day
I helped plan your vacation from me
Help plan your vacation from me 
Now there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than helping
Plan your next vacation from me

Vacation (From Me) (Demo)

I wrote this song for my brand new niece, born a day before her mother's (my sister's) birthday. A beautiful gift full of love and promises. This song is a little sappy, but I won't apologize. The world can be sad and disappointing, but then a ray of light breaks through. Welcome to your life, Gwendolyn.

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Gwendolyn Rose

Gwendolyn Rose
Did you suppose that
Your first day here
Would be reflected in a mirror?
Who knows

You took a breath
When she had nothing left
And the news traveled ‘round
All of old Boston town and
Out to the west

Your shock of black hair
And your shocking stare 
At all those who love you
Gwendolyn Rose

Three little girls
Sharing a string of pearls
As a new sun arose your
Ten tiny toes 
Stepped into the world 

Your cry laid the stone
Of this house and home
Shared by all of us who love you
Gwendolyn Rose 

Today’s the day of your mother’s birth
Decades before you arrived
Enjoy your first morning here on earth
And get ready to fly 

Up to the north
Out to the east
Look into the rising sun
Smile at the sky
Laugh at the clouds
This has only begun

This day was foretold 
May you enter it boldly
No door or window be closed
Go where you may
Sleep wherever you lay
And know we will always love you
Gwendolyn Rose

Gwendolyn Rose

Halloween is the time for creeps, creaks, scares, and (most importantly)SEQUELS. "That's the Twist...Again!" is the follow-up to last year's "That's the Twist!", my attempt to write my own horror anthology films and cram it into a 5 minute toe-tapper. 

This year's anthology song is all new. New music. New stories. New twists. The EP also includes "All the Rage," an ode to creepy coastal monsters and self-indulgent backwards guitar solos, and "My My (Pumpkin Pie)", a song that's about exactly what it seems to be about (whatever that is). 

Happy Halloween!

My My Pumpkin Pie

All The Rage

Thats The Twist Again

One last Halloween tune, in demo form. It may show up on next year's EP as a fully arranged song, or this may be it. That's how it goes with...THE MAN IN THE MASK.

The Man in the Mask (Demo)

The Man In The Mask (Demo)

Happy Thanksgiving and general holiday season! My latest demo is a song about celebration and sadness, with a side of cranberry sauce.

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There’s a man with a rope
Stretching into the sky
He’s attached to a dog balloon ten stories high
Reflected in buildings that watch him float by

The crowd on the ground
Comes alive with a cheer
Though they’re chilled to the bone
It’s the best time of year
For earmuffs, confetti, and 
Fighting back tears

I love a parade
Think back on all the mistakes I made
But none of them matter at all
For one day in the Fall

Marching bands marching in octuple file
Celebrities huddle in fresh, fuzzy style 
Waiting for Santa with pasted on smiles

And I love a parade
Think back on all of my debts unpaid
But none of it matters at all
For one day I’ll
Fall on my knees
Underneath the Christmas tree
Feel the needles cover me

I love a parade
Look back on all of the mess I've made
But none of it matters at all
Standing together in festive thrall
Holding hands so we don’t fall

Parade (Demo)

Join us on Saturday, March 9 for F This Movie Fest 2019! 

The world's only all-Twitter film fest is back with six movies from 1986. Go to fthismovie.net for more information.

#FThisMovieFest

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Once three years from now
I told you all the tale
About the only Twitter movie festivale
That's called F This Movie Fest

Now it's back again 
With half a dozen flicks
And we're all tweeting like it's 1986
In this year's F This Movie Fest

Cue up the films and then
Don't hit play until we tell you when
And to answer your question
Heck yeah we know what we're doing
Yeah yeah yeah

Solve the Labyrinth
And find Big Trouble in
Martians have landed and
Freaked out poor Cameron
But wait, there's more F This Movie Fest

Sextuple feature ends
With heavy action sounds
Sly and Sigourney fire off 
Several hundred rounds
To wrap up F This Movie Fest

Come tweet along with us
Hop on the all-day movie magic bus
Please save your questions
'Til the end, we know what we're doing
Yeah yeah yeah

It doesn't have to end
I bet you made one hundred million friends
And there's no more question
You know we know what we're doing

Movie lovers all
Heed the siren call
Join our festival

F This Movie Fest
(yeah yeah yeah)
F This Movie Fest
(yeah yeah yeah)
F This Movie Fest
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)

FTMF86

Nothing will get better if we pretend all this country needs is a fresh coat of paint. The sooner we realize it's going to take a complete overhaul of our broken society, the sooner we can get to work making this a country for everyone. A society we can be proud of.

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Protest songs are fine I guess
Writing rhymes to fit distress
Feeling angry for the time it takes
To sing the chorus

Wish there was a fire hose
To redistribute power to those
Buried under stone foundations 
Holding up our nation’s bones 

It’s broken
Rotten
Deep inside 
Beneath the festering divide
The only way to fix the heart’s
To rip it out and start again

Every footstep forward sinks
We care too much what rich men think
And offer them immunity 
For all their crimes by daylight

We argue words while 
Sticks break bones
Protect the strong and die along
A line so thin and blue it groans
Under a pile of stolen gold

We’re broken
Rotten
Deep within
The easy choice will always win
The only way to fix the heart’s
To rip it out and start again

We claim a moral victory
And tell the blind that they can see
It’s on them and not on me
To say which side should win

The even ground’s a canyon deep
It's so much easier to sleep
If you pretend the poor and meek
Are here to stay

It’s broken
Wrapped in masking tape
We hold the rope but won’t escape
We’re doing fine so 
Keep the crying down
And always know your place

Broken
Shrug and say it’s 
Broken
There but for the grace
Of others in our race 
We’d beg to grab a hammer
Rip it out and 
Start again

Erich Asperschlager's Album

Broken (Demo)

Erich Asperschlager is a good name but a bit long for a marquee, which is why he goes by the shorter and more instructive, Erich with an H. It’s a name that speaks not only to his parents’ inexperience in naming a first born son, but also the sense of humor and playfulness that Erich brings to his music. Drawing from an eclectic array of influences, Erich’s original material is a mix of folk, alternative, British Invasion, power pop, and novelty tunes. His songs cover the range of human experience, from heartbreak to political protest to werewolf attack. He also wrote this bio and is wondering if maybe he laid it on a little too thick. I suppose you’ll have to listen and decide for yourself.

Erich with an H

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