this is a metaphor. think labyrinth or daedalus myth. ffs. 💎 . 🧿👅👅👅🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

Sanity Inn

song i just improvised so embrace the offkey part near the end umm good save tho? wasnt about to redo it
“IF SOMETHING CAN BE DESTROYED BY TRUTH, IT SHOULD BE” 


lyrics:

but what if I feel guilty
when I decide to leave?
it wasn't all that bad,
that's the duality

oh, what is now emerging 
the old me can't concieve 
oh, honey hey will you rock me? 

well i was happy 
for some time now
when we started out
i guess i was proud
never felt with my heart
too busy thinking from my head to even start

what do i want?
really, not that
if i'm being honest
i feel bad
i fell in love again, again
that's what she said
that's what she said

but what if i feel guilty
when i decide to leave
it wasn't all that bad, no
that's duality 
oh what is now emerging?
the old me can't concieve
oh me
honey hey, will you rock me?

DUALITY OF MAN (will be his downfall)

un-mixed junk song from 2nite, lilith was an insomniac...awake. Lyrics and main guitar are improvised 
LYRICS

We burn for each other
a magnetic attraction
our egos too big
its a cockblock in action

Marvelous isn't it?
to let a lover go
when lover said,
"love is dead"

I don't believe you
Prove it, babe
if its really over,
then say it to my face

-- or can you?
what the hell will you do?
you gonna let this love disappear?
What was and never will be
I don't think that's very fair, dear

Left me for dead in the desert
My horse was supposed to come back someday
So where has my horse gone?
Run off on me
Why do I wait so long?
What do I see? 

There is a laser in my eye, can you take that out? 
When Lilith did they called her a devil, now they scream and shout
What else do you want from her? She is a beauty
Her body is HER body and not his
We were created equal--remember?
Until
you put Eve under your spell
now she's asleep they call that hell-uh
well-uh
its just the garden
who wouldn't love a jungle like that?
My heart is hardened
inside the garden

hello
we burn for each other
I call it a magnet
I called you a mother
I call you everything under my mind rule,
Saturn

Well get me out then
If its that serious
and its so very tense

You'll leave someone to die
How nice for you
I thought you were empathetic baby
my guru
where where where where have you gone?
now i am left to sing these heartttbreak broken songs
nobody's listening and I would hope not
I don't need anybody on my mind
ego blind
ego blind
you don't know me and you never ever did
so don't say it
don't say it
oh baby
don't say it

The Battle of Eve

if you'll notice the song sounds like its coming from behind WALLS. it also ends abruptly

Planting seeds in your garden
I'm whispering to the wind
Planting seeds in your garden
I’m on the verge of saint and sin

Tending to the seeds I've planted
I know that you can hear my song
I'm singing to the seeds I've planted
You have loved me all along

Like a snake writhe up the tower
twisted and enwtined with you
As the sun it gives you power
Getting down with the guru

Tr!pping in your little garden 
now that everything is grown
Contemplating in your garden
but the work is not yet done

Screaming in your rosey garden
'Til my big old head comes off
I'm screaming in your rosy garden
someone's tried to amp the cost
what's it--living?
what's it? not

In Your Garden

the mixing sucks cuz the acoustic and voice were one live recording so I couldn’t adjust them! & used an acoustic bass 
Lyrics:
My potheaded princess 
its just in her nature
I know that she's sneaky
bu damn who could hate her?

She drained my life force
Because I let her
What you call a poison
might just make me better

So what?
Eclipse me
I long to get free
Is fear really all that I'm destined to feel?
She's like Vanna White and she's standing at the wheel

What does your mother say?
Mocked the Sufi surfer way
Don't let her tell you who you are anymore, babe
I see you clearly
Do you not hear me?
You're better than the vision that they had chose for you
I'll pop that delusion so you can see right through
The best illusions are the ones that you choose
I've got this cloud here so are you coming ...

The call of love is here
So are you gonna leave it?
I know its kind of tough
he likes the same things you believe in

Don't do what I say
I'm not hear to lead
I'm just walking my own path
no reason or creed
Just lead with love instead of the greed

Starcrossed lovers who may break the curse
lets let Romeo and Juliet be the ones who've had it worse
We could be free if we lelt ourselves live
so cast out the webs
and just let me in

Don't listen to me
Listen to your heart
If not in my favor I would still want you to start

Two supernovas with a destined fate
don't intend to cross you but you know you've made me wait
break this love cycle and do what you do
even if it ain't me
see your heart through

Call of Love

A fantasy about a healing Druid who fucked with the wrong one. But unfortunately he fell in love with her & she wants to save him from the karmic clock. 

(Ps this isn’t about the dude who literally brought me to the rope lmao it’s just a fantasy about no one) 

Hi druid
I can feel your webs
there's your sparkling fascia 
crackling in my head

Hi druid
we come from the same tree
you're fucking with yourself when you think you're fucking with me.

trees are a system. a system indeed.
we help other trees when there's one tree in need. 
so why are you hurting me when we are the firs?
love is the answer, hate is the worst.

bow down and say that you're sorry
 if you wanna be saved.
well then you better hurry
--else your fate is made

holy ghost 
does the most
and will not let you win
no matter how big your complex, 
you remain a victim to your sins

my heart will be your door
whenever you shall pass
i won't let you drown in the underworld glass
I have nothing but love when it comes to you
so be sweet to me
and i'll be sweet to you

i'll collect ya back!
squeeze your nutsack!
till your fuckin face turns black!
like your shame that seeps thru the cracks
you're wack
you're wack
you're wack
you're wack

even though you once led me to die
i'd still fuckin save you from unconcious life
i will collect you
i collect you everyday
you might think YOU'RE mining for diamonds
while in the ocean I wade

don't worry about it
bygones be bygones
you must be desperate when its others' pain you thrive on.

you get used up in your room by your hand (hot)
left is bride
right is groom
you're your man

don't mean to shame ya
but its payback for the rope you led me to 
no no
dammit i love you, i love you, i love you its true
i ran back down the stairs of Dante's Lake for you.

fuck MK ultra
fuck mind control
you better stop, I got the holy ghost.
a good friend of jesus, saved by his sacrifice
so my lovely druid,
you better be very, very nice.

The Poem U Heard Me Write

the brain is odd when youre suffering

LYRICS: 

In the beginning there were two little fish
One of the light, one of the dark
Grown from source’s Petri dish
And then sent out on Noah’s Arc  

I was an Earth Angel, wandering the planes
You had crawled up from hell, promising to save
And I knew who you were the whole damn time
My head might get confused, but my heart it never lies
 I wanted you to take me hard for all I am
Plunge me to your darkest depths and hurt me bad with your hands

I like the feeling of you when you crawl inside my mind
I feel less alone
but the feelings I desire are of the hurting kind 

When you’re scuba diving in my head its like a pillage 
Dominate my body first then tame my Lilith 

You’re a psychonaut who spends your days out in space
But I often forget that life’s not a race
Hurt me slowly, hurt me softly, tantric force 
I want your love & madness as we orbit voids of course 

I like that you’re psychopathic hiding behind your wool 
Your gentleness is convincing but a real lover always knows 
I can feel your need to take my body how you please
In life i dominate you but in lust you can own me
Only if you’re desperate for it, hungry to the brink 
of insanity 
Enough to risk it all for the feeling 
To captivate the sweet angel and show her the power you’re wielding

Don’t wait around when I invite you over
I said I was alone, an easy target, a four leaf clover
When you cross the boundary the bloodthirst in your eyes
Is far too powerful for you to disguise 

I like the way you look around
 I project my thoughts out
Don’t you hear me thinking "I want you to hurt me"? 
I’m an earth angel masochistic sacrifice
Showing up to sadists door hoping for a ride

Gimmie life or gimmie death I don’t really care
I just want you to be the one to take me there 

If...
it’s the ending, good! Hurt me badly
Like you should
Have no mercy for me
I’ve got no safe words honey
Do what you want 
Do what you please
I want you to abuse me
I want you to abuse me
Like you already do to my mind

Make me scream
Make me cry 
Don’t be gentle
Don’t ask why
Make me bleed 
Or make me die 
And when it’s over 
hold me tight
As if you loved me.... right
If you want the pearl
Then fuck me for it 

I’m an earth angel 
I am innocent and pure
But I have suffered deep enough 
To love it to its core
And now I crave the suffering 
That fools like you will always bring

So now you can inflict it if your hungers strong enough 
Unless your compulsive brain is gonna make you act like you’re too tough
You try to pick apart the shape and size of my body
That’s how you protect yourself from your feelings that are naughty
You disgust me and I could spit in your fucking face
The way you act is so submissive but that’s not your place
 Maybe in the real world bc I own you there
But when we are in lover realms you can pull my hair

Hey I know your soul is sold
So you better hurry before we get too old 
Better take me now while I’m still around
I see you laughing when I ask how to get out
How to end my self
You don’t think I have the guts? 
Mmm… You’re fucking nuts
I could crack my own skull 
That’s the pain I have from never being loved at all
So if I can’t get love from you then I need you to hurt me
Though of my body, you are unworthy
I guess that’s half the fun 
Hurt me in the shadows
Oppose the mourning sun

☯  Sadist & The Masomaiden ☯ (The Sundance)

bear with me I still don’t have my drums so I had to use the MIDI 


I don’t miss you anymore. 

lyrics:

I wish you were here
I really do
I really miss you,
dear Barbara Blue

learned a few lessons
at birth I was marked
a beast in the ether
a god in the stars

damned to be damned
damned straight to hell
the karmic dance rang the liberty bells
I live with my head down
my mouth sewn shut
No way around it
but to you I am a mutt.

A genocide was placed 
on my humanity
a relic on display
for all these losers to see

you close your eyes
easy for you
I burn alive
you buy new shoes
ugh

I needed you so bad
you're a cog in the wheel
your heart is walled
you don't care how i feel.

my inner child
a burning star
and it knocked on your door
to remind you who you are

you shut me out.
your flame was dim.
through me your spark flickered
you still chose him
(his $)

feeling alive, it doeesn't matter to you
when you are as afraid as my dear Barbara Blue 
but I tried to tell her that I had felt that way too
I showed her my heart but she hated the truth
Derealized me by shutting me out
I gave her the power and all of the clout

But in history we have seen greedy men
who let people die and
dehumanize them
I hate this game.
you let me down.
Barbara, I wanted to
keep you around

Learn how to love
learn how to see
you blind me further
to my humanity

Yet my flame's stilll there
always burns for you
if you don't take it then
just as well, too

But Barbara, I needed
you to cradle me
my inner child really, really
wanted to be free

Loved you in a myriad of ways
thought that we would figure it out someday
To you I'm not real, 
just another pawn.
you started the campaign to prove that I was wrong
but lies don't prove nothin' dear Barbara Blue
except that you're running from...
yourself, too!

She Played Us Both

Not Very Inspired By U

Daddy (blueface cover)

Scott was at my bedside
I’ll never be the same
What a waste of time

You were at my bedside

lyrics:

Well the only bone chillers
have gone cold
gone cold
not a soul

Well the wind mill has 
gone a ghost 
like cumber's coal
Their pockets full

Now the grass' as tall as me
The suns been faded like a dream
and now the moneys all been chased
they couldn't take it to their graves

Well the wind mill has 
gone a ghost 
like cumber's coal
Their pockets full

Well the only bone chillers
have gone cold
gone cold
not a soul
not a soul
not a soul

I'm in fire
I'm in water
And weeds as tall as me
The suns fade like a dream
You could have what you see
We know better than to chase

The Sawmill

Lyrics:

Leon? 
My twin flame left me in south dakota down at the old grain
I am nobodys babe
I'm tired of you thinking you own me just 'cuz you know Leon walked away

I am nobody's girl
I am alone in this world
I don't need you

I go wherever you want me
You dont want me nowhere
anybody

You can't trust these monsters you're running from
towards the gates of the only good ones

If Leon can hurt me then anyone can
You should've hooked just nobody's man

Yeah he's gonna kill me someday
if I'm lucky, 
Leon love me

Tower

lyrics:

How can you not see this? 
I love who you are
I just can't believe it,
we have come so far

Conceptual personality
None is real
Do you have a motorcycle?
Well I got to know

My imagination's got a grip on you
I could love you in reality but that just won't do

Shielded your eyes to the morning sun
Waves they crashed to the shore
There was a flute player in the ocean and he calleld us home

You can get away only for so long
When I buried my bad memories
Then we rejoiced as you leaned on your cane
You said nothing can get us here, there was so much joy it was pain

Visions (Truck Stop Man)

lyrics 
Charging under the moonlight
you never knew you would feel life
Moonlight
Moonlight

I was in love and it killed me
So far down below the deepest depths of the sea
I was in love and it killed me
Couldn't get it right
Get it right

Moon Lite

Acoustic rough draft

He's my king, 
I
wish I could go away
but I'm only fallen
without it I'll be okay

Why

You're killing my vibe
my vibe
my vibe
I was a rebel in the beehive
so they kicked me out since I was 5
they said I'm too advanced at lovemaking
he wanted a toy but I wasn't faking
I'm the real thing
and they all pretend
a man's pride can't comprehend

snake the serpent DEMO

its giving...munk
Lyrics

Don’t be too much
Don’t be not enough
Don’t move my feelings around
Don’t get attached to stuff

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

(X2)

You cannot break my heart
if I don’t give you a heart to break
But you know this best of all 
I’ll give it to you anyway

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

You cannot hurt me
Now that I don’t need nobody 
I am always happy
I am never happy
I don’t need to be happy (x2) 

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

There’s no me no more 
no

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same as the people I don’t know
I just feel feelings

I Am Not The Same! (as my mind as my brain)

Phosephenes (unfinished)

Anyone INStRUMENTAL

God gates
God hated me because I fell 
I had to take Route 66 to get back

Dark Song

Anyone

stopping at Sunoco around 2am after its rained
he runs in to get me a water
he drinks coke
he's in a suit. misplaced. and annoyed by me.

Art Shows

Chaotic No Good

o the irony, He killed me. said, “good night mathilda.”  And forced me toward the next dream. I’m lost in Roman hell but I’m not lost —just noticing. I made the rope, the world made me a deadman long before that. Old world never loved me, nor had a spot for me. so who to blame? the stars?

Goodnight, Matilda

this song is to my guru

Love is a purity
You keep your hands in my head
You're twisting my mind
You got my love until I'm dead
Near hotel Julien
no one's come to my gravestone
to ask if I wanna go
to the masquerade though

Love is security 
Security's an illusion
So keep me delusional to keep me around you
I'm an impurity
take your hands out of my head
Do you wanna love me?
Do you wanna feel that? 

All life is loss
and loss is just heartbreak
you tell me I'm wrong and its these drugs that you want me to take
to make me feel better
what is that to me?
I gotta stay away from my mind so you can make me free

Love is no purity
and my hearts a sun
its burning so badly 
would you just listen ?

Love ain't no purity
And my hearts a sun
I want you so badly
I want you for fun

Burning like July
yes my hearts a suns
I want you to see that
I want you my hun

Nobody gets it 
that my hearts a sun
I want you to feel it
I want you for fun

My hearts a sun

Its not what you thought
What do you wanna say to me?

Its not like you understand
but why do I get it when I can't be your friend?
Stick me in a place that I have never been
Tired of your modern day dreams
Tired of your social media kings

Love ain't no purity
and my hearts a sun
its burning so badly
would you just listen?
God its a beauty
and my hearts a sun
I don't understand
I won't just listen

My Heart Is A Sun

DEADLY DESIRE, ICARUS AND VENUS, love burnt me to a crisp, but a Phoenix rose in the ashes 

artwork by @ billetdoux.jpg on Instagram

Virgo Virago

Lotus Eater

here are the lyrics from what i can understand from listening back to myself lol


Three of them behind me
I miss storming around in the empty street
Why you speaking in poetry?
Why don’t you abuse me
the right way
Your words hurt more
than your hands do babe

You’re tearing my mind
You’re twisting  me 'round
You winnin’ my heart
You’ll never find out

Called me your MoonChild
Cuz I’m in the bath
Every time you called me up
You like me mad

Visions unclear
Why don’t you abuse me
the right way
Your words hurt more 
than your hands do babe

You don’t like my impatience
I don't like your patience

I don't like your way
Your sparkling sun little babe

My energies can’t be contained
I’m psychic every way

I’m here to shake you up
To alter your reality
To interrupt your tranquil
To make you wanna come with me
mmm
To make you wanna come with me
mmm
To make you wanna cum in me

My Heart Is Dragged Thru The Mud

this song surprised me when i found it 
i made it in 15 mins then it entirely erased from my memory
funny story about this song, i put it together so sloppy & quick bc I was trying to save my dying relationship with it. but i knew when i listened to it back that it wasn't for him. it didn't feel like it was for him, even tho i wanted it to be. didn't resonate. my songs write themselves and THEY chose who they are for. 
NOW I know who its for.


lyrics:
you spend your whole life wondering if you could even love right
you spend your whole life drinking routine through a plastic straw
i'm sorry that i come blazing fire, burning like the demon
i know i'm here to take you higher, i'm the disaster you're leaving

you and me come from the same old soul
same old star
how we know
that we'd find each other again?
love, it always wins
and maybe its rough
and maybe its sad
but baby i promise you're the best i've had
when the light shines, we'll know how to treat it
I don't know why, we'll know how to beat it...


My heart is your sun ☀️

15 Mins (For my twin flame)

LYRICS:

Spangler
You kicked the rockstars out of Hollywood Hills
In midsummer
It’s too much to ask for you to bring the thrills? 

Keeping my distance
In the pink sunrise 
I feel the cold on my face when you wake me up in the middle of the night

Midsummer
He don’t know what’s good for him 
You got your life
And I don’t know anything
I don’t know anything 

End of summer bash
Your love runs fast
I’m so hurt and I’m scared 
I’m so tired of this fuckin’ town
In the red dragon room you said you like my hair
I’m so hurt and I’m so scared

Midsummer
I am your lover

FILM2 1

justttt messing around 
not rly my style 
i dont have a style tho. hmmmmm

heres the lyrics: 
young man on the microphone
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm

i stopped dancing because someone really hurt me
i stopped dancing because life was not eternity
get out your head
thats what they told me

young man on the microphone 
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm

i stopped dancing because someone really hurt me
i stopped dancing because i remember every single bad thing
i remember every single bad thing

young man on the microphone
joan baez
and her gypsy realm
im not much
just going along
im not gonna take 
anybody but i know that you will get it
know that you will get it

young man on the microphone
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
throws it back to the gypsy realm
throws it back

Gypsy Realm

i only like the ending!
lyrics:
jack i know that you are listening
and you said that you're in love with me
the way i found you wasn't gods design
but it makes me so happy
makes me so happy

you say "don't act like a baby"
but my heart is really breaking
what the hell do you expect from me
you're kicking stones in my glass heart
stones in my glass heart

there's something i wanna tell you
about all the things we didn't do
a lie is dripping off my tongue right now
in the pages of a novella 
pages of a novella
novella
novella

jack you said that you would take me
on the motorcycle that you bring
to pick me up when the days are nice
sweet georgia brown eyes
sweet georgia brown

you were kind to me for one week
now that one week is long gone
must've been some delusion that you were
suffering from
suffering from

when the sun does consume 
in the golden brown
my love isn't normal
the deepest love around
closed circuit television
nobody understands
its nothing like
i ever seen before
i want you to be my man

Liter Haulted Car (ode to greta)

💎
❤️‍🔥🪐⭐️🧿
check out my YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/ErikaGillmusic

Erika

Popular tracks