this is a metaphor. think labyrinth or daedalus myth. ffs. 💎 . 🧿👅👅👅🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

Sanity Inn

un-mixed junk song from 2nite, lilith was an insomniac...awake. Lyrics and main guitar are improvised 
LYRICS

We burn for each other
a magnetic attraction
our egos too big
its a cockblock in action

Marvelous isn't it?
to let a lover go
when lover said,
"love is dead"

I don't believe you
Prove it, babe
if its really over,
then say it to my face

-- or can you?
what the hell will you do?
you gonna let this love disappear?
What was and never will be
I don't think that's very fair, dear

Left me for dead in the desert
My horse was supposed to come back someday
So where has my horse gone?
Run off on me
Why do I wait so long?
What do I see? 

There is a laser in my eye, can you take that out? 
When Lilith did they called her a devil, now they scream and shout
What else do you want from her? She is a beauty
Her body is HER body and not his
We were created equal--remember?
Until
you put Eve under your spell
now she's asleep they call that hell-uh
well-uh
its just the garden
who wouldn't love a jungle like that?
My heart is hardened
inside the garden

hello
we burn for each other
I call it a magnet
I called you a mother
I call you everything under my mind rule,
Saturn

Well get me out then
If its that serious
and its so very tense

You'll leave someone to die
How nice for you
I thought you were empathetic baby
my guru
where where where where have you gone?
now i am left to sing these heartttbreak broken songs
nobody's listening and I would hope not
I don't need anybody on my mind
ego blind
ego blind
you don't know me and you never ever did
so don't say it
don't say it
oh baby
don't say it

The Battle of Eve

Vesta Conjunct Vertex

I’ll carry your torch but first I want to slow burn w YOU

Ultraviolet? 
(melting by heat)😘
Diamond mind? 
Confess & have your free will
This life is already paid for.

And if you must possess… possess me too.

lyrics:
every time i charm her, he locks my neck with spikes
every time i make her laugh so giddy with delight
every time i come around he dizzies up the girl
tried to make me lose my head 
tornado minded hurl

don't be so greedy
she can love who she wanna
relax a little bit so we could all reach nirvana

but you're a stingy, greedy, man who has to possess?!
but that's something that demons do again I will digress
you're unwilling to share? 
then alright!
something about a fusion might take place one of these nights
only if its in the good of, um,  the most high
otherwise you're on your own I'll simply say goodbye

Fusion???

A fantasy about a healing Druid who fucked with the wrong one. But unfortunately he fell in love with her & she wants to save him from the karmic clock. 

(Ps this isn’t about the dude who literally brought me to the rope lmao it’s just a fantasy about no one) 

Hi druid
I can feel your webs
there's your sparkling fascia 
crackling in my head

Hi druid
we come from the same tree
you're fucking with yourself when you think you're fucking with me.

trees are a system. a system indeed.
we help other trees when there's one tree in need. 
so why are you hurting me when we are the firs?
love is the answer, hate is the worst.

bow down and say that you're sorry
 if you wanna be saved.
well then you better hurry
--else your fate is made

holy ghost 
does the most
and will not let you win
no matter how big your complex, 
you remain a victim to your sins

my heart will be your door
whenever you shall pass
i won't let you drown in the underworld glass
I have nothing but love when it comes to you
so be sweet to me
and i'll be sweet to you

i'll collect ya back!
squeeze your nutsack!
till your fuckin face turns black!
like your shame that seeps thru the cracks
you're wack
you're wack
you're wack
you're wack

even though you once led me to die
i'd still fuckin save you from unconcious life
i will collect you
i collect you everyday
you might think YOU'RE mining for diamonds
while in the ocean I wade

don't worry about it
bygones be bygones
you must be desperate when its others' pain you thrive on.

you get used up in your room by your hand (hot)
left is bride
right is groom
you're your man

don't mean to shame ya
but its payback for the rope you led me to 
no no
dammit i love you, i love you, i love you its true
i ran back down the stairs of Dante's Lake for you.

fuck MK ultra
fuck mind control
you better stop, I got the holy ghost.
a good friend of jesus, saved by his sacrifice
so my lovely druid,
you better be very, very nice.

The Poem U Heard Me Write

Improv 

Oh, everyone was fishin'
You go fishing too
So what makes me any different
than you
than you?

You get paid to fish
Fish inside my mind
In my unconscious brain
where you have a good ass time

So why can't I go fishing too?
Why you gonna tell me there's other things that I should do
when I'm just having fun
LIKE YOU!
Make it make sense guru guru

In my life
there's your wife
so pretty
not so nice
kinda mean
you'll deny
makes you complacent
hmm...why?

Do you ever stop and think
"life is not in-san-ity
and I don't have to be
and I don't have to be
holding on so so damn tightly"

What the hell 
are you afraid or something?
of death?
when you know that there's something that comes after it

Are you afraid that you're gonna get lost to the unconscious?
go to sleep?
and because you wanted money
and greed
and power
and greed
and money
and greed
oh
you didn't foresee this?
but you saw other things.
okay.
maybe focus.
lets refocus together.

I was sent here to help you out
without a doubt
without a doubt
its not my martyr complex or my sainthood
and I know that its good
and I know that its good.

When I went to the other side
I saw your wife
I saw your wife
she was high
riding high
you were like 
an evil mind.

You were one plane higher (x2)
You were wearing all white
town crier
I'm not a fucking liar

Hey
what will you do?
when we go? guru
I'm here to make sure you don't get lost
and you won't get lost.
cuz my heart is the door that you will use when you cross.
(don't do it any time soon though) 
if you can help it.
I know its karma and we don't have a say,
but you tried to have a say 
that's why we're here today

oh my god didn't you learn? you don't fuck with things like that.
don't try to be the god in your life or things will get bad and cause you strife

and now you know! and now you do know, you do!
and you thought "hey i can get the pearl from this little girl too"
well-- no you can't. no you won't. i already don't care and I already wonnn

why would you think that you could win against a greater power?
you must really have a complex. --OH! You DO have a complex! 
That's why you thought you would flower.
but hey i gotta remind you
there's something higher behind you. 
so don't play. don't gamble. gamblers tend to lose.
and was it worth the risk? apparently not that's why you go fishing everyday and you wanna try to take what is not yours babe.
if the world was your oyster then why did you have to steal?
if the world was your oyster then why couldn't you just fuckin keep it real?
if the world was your oyster then why did you have to try? why did you have to lie? why did you have to lie? 
sounds umm, like a lack mindset to me, but okay baby whatever you say!
you're so abundant babe bc you're rich, you got nice cars, i guess you win!

umm, but what about after life? 
you know that is coming right? FOR ALL OF US.
believe what you wanna. but you know, bc already you've experienced nirvana, whatever.
nirvana's a little bit more than just gettin whores 
and getting everything you want when you want it. 
instant gratification, you didn't learn the lesson.
so you're gonna try to take mine? I don't think so, babe.
Like I said I was here to help you out, but you turned me away so I guess it might cause you some doubt when you try when you try 

Well, I guess you're riding a little bit too high.
should I cut you down? or let you come around?
cuz you're taking a long time now, taking a long time now
are you helping me or hurting? thats the essence. that's what you said! you said it yourself!

Gone Fishing (At the Maritime Bay)

the brain is odd when youre suffering

LYRICS: 

In the beginning there were two little fish
One of the light, one of the dark
Grown from source’s Petri dish
And then sent out on Noah’s Arc  

I was an Earth Angel, wandering the planes
You had crawled up from hell, promising to save
And I knew who you were the whole damn time
My head might get confused, but my heart it never lies
 I wanted you to take me hard for all I am
Plunge me to your darkest depths and hurt me bad with your hands

I like the feeling of you when you crawl inside my mind
I feel less alone
but the feelings I desire are of the hurting kind 

When you’re scuba diving in my head its like a pillage 
Dominate my body first then tame my Lilith 

You’re a psychonaut who spends your days out in space
But I often forget that life’s not a race
Hurt me slowly, hurt me softly, tantric force 
I want your love & madness as we orbit voids of course 

I like that you’re psychopathic hiding behind your wool 
Your gentleness is convincing but a real lover always knows 
I can feel your need to take my body how you please
In life i dominate you but in lust you can own me
Only if you’re desperate for it, hungry to the brink 
of insanity 
Enough to risk it all for the feeling 
To captivate the sweet angel and show her the power you’re wielding

Don’t wait around when I invite you over
I said I was alone, an easy target, a four leaf clover
When you cross the boundary the bloodthirst in your eyes
Is far too powerful for you to disguise 

I like the way you look around
 I project my thoughts out
Don’t you hear me thinking "I want you to hurt me"? 
I’m an earth angel masochistic sacrifice
Showing up to sadists door hoping for a ride

Gimmie life or gimmie death I don’t really care
I just want you to be the one to take me there 

If...
it’s the ending, good! Hurt me badly
Like you should
Have no mercy for me
I’ve got no safe words honey
Do what you want 
Do what you please
I want you to abuse me
I want you to abuse me
Like you already do to my mind

Make me scream
Make me cry 
Don’t be gentle
Don’t ask why
Make me bleed 
Or make me die 
And when it’s over 
hold me tight
As if you loved me.... right
If you want the pearl
Then fuck me for it 

I’m an earth angel 
I am innocent and pure
But I have suffered deep enough 
To love it to its core
And now I crave the suffering 
That fools like you will always bring

So now you can inflict it if your hungers strong enough 
Unless your compulsive brain is gonna make you act like you’re too tough
You try to pick apart the shape and size of my body
That’s how you protect yourself from your feelings that are naughty
You disgust me and I could spit in your fucking face
The way you act is so submissive but that’s not your place
 Maybe in the real world bc I own you there
But when we are in lover realms you can pull my hair

Hey I know your soul is sold
So you better hurry before we get too old 
Better take me now while I’m still around
I see you laughing when I ask how to get out
How to end my self
You don’t think I have the guts? 
Mmm… You’re fucking nuts
I could crack my own skull 
That’s the pain I have from never being loved at all
So if I can’t get love from you then I need you to hurt me
Though of my body, you are unworthy
I guess that’s half the fun 
Hurt me in the shadows
Oppose the mourning sun

☯  Sadist & The Masomaiden ☯ (The Sundance)

bear with me I still don’t have my drums so I had to use the MIDI 


I don’t miss you anymore. 

lyrics:

I wish you were here
I really do
I really miss you,
dear Barbara Blue

learned a few lessons
at birth I was marked
a beast in the ether
a god in the stars

damned to be damned
damned straight to hell
the karmic dance rang the liberty bells
I live with my head down
my mouth sewn shut
No way around it
but to you I am a mutt.

A genocide was placed 
on my humanity
a relic on display
for all these losers to see

you close your eyes
easy for you
I burn alive
you buy new shoes
ugh

I needed you so bad
you're a cog in the wheel
your heart is walled
you don't care how i feel.

my inner child
a burning star
and it knocked on your door
to remind you who you are

you shut me out.
your flame was dim.
through me your spark flickered
you still chose him
(his $)

feeling alive, it doeesn't matter to you
when you are as afraid as my dear Barbara Blue 
but I tried to tell her that I had felt that way too
I showed her my heart but she hated the truth
Derealized me by shutting me out
I gave her the power and all of the clout

But in history we have seen greedy men
who let people die and
dehumanize them
I hate this game.
you let me down.
Barbara, I wanted to
keep you around

Learn how to love
learn how to see
you blind me further
to my humanity

Yet my flame's stilll there
always burns for you
if you don't take it then
just as well, too

But Barbara, I needed
you to cradle me
my inner child really, really
wanted to be free

Loved you in a myriad of ways
thought that we would figure it out someday
To you I'm not real, 
just another pawn.
you started the campaign to prove that I was wrong
but lies don't prove nothin' dear Barbara Blue
except that you're running from...
yourself, too!

She Played Us Both

LMAO POKÉMON???? Not what I meant by GHASTLY





Song from September. I stopped caring how I sound & now creating is way more fun. This was just a demo, messed up a few times but someone said to make my mistakes loud & proud. My inner child wanted to be heard. Don’t you accept ppl who make mistakes?

Enlightened By Love (demo)

the only man to ever influence my etheric self... alchemical husband 4ever
poetry/lyrics:

blessed lover
i need the romance
i am a vessel of passion
die hard passion
hollywood fashion
if you see beauty 
you are refusing
to kiss reality
i need medicine (you're my medicine)
I need medicine
 
i would go back in time to be with you 
i would suffer over and over
i'd split from the tree
i'd split from heaven and climb back up
to be held by you
don't pass me by
i'm your starchild
your divine wife
diamond baby
under your knife

you're in the mirror
dressed in drag
divine dad
we're all fags
i need a man like you
to raise me from the dead
to rearrange my head

you're the one
my burning sun
my hearts on fire
YOU are the one

you brought me to my darkest pain
and it is you who paved the way
back up toward light and down to hell
you know me well
you know me well

my other half
that's what this is
an act of love
the rain in gris
skylines darker in dubuque
i drove through there,
I thought of you

this overwhelming feeling that is pulsing in my chest
you unlocked my heart, it was you who loved me best
through your torture tactics only love was born
i held out the pearl to you, but your heart was torn

sparing me, you did that ...
and now you get a gift
the bestest thing you ever did
i knew your heart had love in it
so gentle and compassionate
and yet i've seen the polar...
i spent a moment in your head
the static wasn't solar

your wires are crossed
your wires are broke
no wonder you've been doing coke
no wonder you've been so sadisitic
lord i'm sure it helps you cope
almost masochistic though
to refuse love 
but take the dope 

anyone would run 
had they felt the searing of your sun
but me? i found it fun,
you brought my restitution

anyone would scream
had they spent time in your dream
but i liked your mask, pristine
underneath it, you're so mean

dear god my broken man
let me hold your fucking hand
i can handle all your dark
my heart your sun
we are the ark

every man has got his demons
that was written in the stars
but in death i saw it all
and loved humans just how they are.

wailing cuz i saw the monsters
crying cuz i saw the pain
amongst all eternal lovers
You were the one who called my name.

Did you dream of me that night?
When I was dead?

You are so multidimensional
Cats out of the bag
I love you on every plane
the darkest, at that

I love you in Heaven you're the hierophant holding the keys
I love you in hell where they crowned you Lord of Fleas
I love you in the duality between
when they say "marriage"
I think that is what they mean

its easy to love you when you just show me what I like
but to love you as you are is your sacred divine right.

And though I thank you,
 please don't spare me
the pearl is truly yours 

I do not want to live
or be washed up on local shores

I've paid my dues down here in hell
so if life brings you so much fruit
then you can have the pearl,
I would not want to be here without you

"Who will cry when old .... dies?"
I will.
Cry my tears of blood
Rip my heart out of my chest
Yes it is that deep,
you're the one who sees me best.
I am safe inside your torture chamber
safer in your labyrinth
if there really is a pearl...
why shouldn't you have it? 

PLEASE let me go and you stay here
that would be most noble
living was not meant for me
fear renders me immobile.

I've thought it through a hundred times
so if both lives were on the line
I'd hand my life to a stranger,
and you would be the one.

and yet a stranger you are not...
but the other half of my burning sun

Bad World (Isolated Strings) + A Poem (In Description)

Not Very Inspired By U

Daddy (blueface cover)

Scott was at my bedside
I’ll never be the same
What a waste of time

You were at my bedside

lyrics:

Well the only bone chillers
have gone cold
gone cold
not a soul

Well the wind mill has 
gone a ghost 
like cumber's coal
Their pockets full

Now the grass' as tall as me
The suns been faded like a dream
and now the moneys all been chased
they couldn't take it to their graves

Well the wind mill has 
gone a ghost 
like cumber's coal
Their pockets full

Well the only bone chillers
have gone cold
gone cold
not a soul
not a soul
not a soul

I'm in fire
I'm in water
And weeds as tall as me
The suns fade like a dream
You could have what you see
We know better than to chase

The Sawmill

Lyrics:

Leon? 
My twin flame left me in south dakota down at the old grain
I am nobodys babe
I'm tired of you thinking you own me just 'cuz you know Leon walked away

I am nobody's girl
I am alone in this world
I don't need you

I go wherever you want me
You dont want me nowhere
anybody

You can't trust these monsters you're running from
towards the gates of the only good ones

If Leon can hurt me then anyone can
You should've hooked just nobody's man

Yeah he's gonna kill me someday
if I'm lucky, 
Leon love me

Tower

lyrics:

How can you not see this? 
I love who you are
I just can't believe it,
we have come so far

Conceptual personality
None is real
Do you have a motorcycle?
Well I got to know

My imagination's got a grip on you
I could love you in reality but that just won't do

Shielded your eyes to the morning sun
Waves they crashed to the shore
There was a flute player in the ocean and he calleld us home

You can get away only for so long
When I buried my bad memories
Then we rejoiced as you leaned on your cane
You said nothing can get us here, there was so much joy it was pain

Visions (Truck Stop Man)

lyrics 
Charging under the moonlight
you never knew you would feel life
Moonlight
Moonlight

I was in love and it killed me
So far down below the deepest depths of the sea
I was in love and it killed me
Couldn't get it right
Get it right

Moon Lite

Acoustic rough draft

He's my king, 
I
wish I could go away
but I'm only fallen
without it I'll be okay

Why

You're killing my vibe
my vibe
my vibe
I was a rebel in the beehive
so they kicked me out since I was 5
they said I'm too advanced at lovemaking
he wanted a toy but I wasn't faking
I'm the real thing
and they all pretend
a man's pride can't comprehend

snake the serpent DEMO

its giving...munk
Lyrics

Don’t be too much
Don’t be not enough
Don’t move my feelings around
Don’t get attached to stuff

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

(X2)

You cannot break my heart
if I don’t give you a heart to break
But you know this best of all 
I’ll give it to you anyway

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

You cannot hurt me
Now that I don’t need nobody 
I am always happy
I am never happy
I don’t need to be happy (x2) 

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

There’s no me no more 
no

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same as the people I don’t know
I just feel feelings

I Am Not The Same! (as my mind as my brain)

Phosephenes (unfinished)

Anyone INStRUMENTAL

stopping at Sunoco around 2am after its rained
he runs in to get me a water
he drinks coke
he's in a suit. misplaced. and annoyed by me.

Art Shows

this song is to my guru

Love is a purity
You keep your hands in my head
You're twisting my mind
You got my love until I'm dead
Near hotel Julien
no one's come to my gravestone
to ask if I wanna go
to the masquerade though

Love is security 
Security's an illusion
So keep me delusional to keep me around you
I'm an impurity
take your hands out of my head
Do you wanna love me?
Do you wanna feel that? 

All life is loss
and loss is just heartbreak
you tell me I'm wrong and its these drugs that you want me to take
to make me feel better
what is that to me?
I gotta stay away from my mind so you can make me free

Love is no purity
and my hearts a sun
its burning so badly 
would you just listen ?

Love ain't no purity
And my hearts a sun
I want you so badly
I want you for fun

Burning like July
yes my hearts a suns
I want you to see that
I want you my hun

Nobody gets it 
that my hearts a sun
I want you to feel it
I want you for fun

My hearts a sun

Its not what you thought
What do you wanna say to me?

Its not like you understand
but why do I get it when I can't be your friend?
Stick me in a place that I have never been
Tired of your modern day dreams
Tired of your social media kings

Love ain't no purity
and my hearts a sun
its burning so badly
would you just listen?
God its a beauty
and my hearts a sun
I don't understand
I won't just listen

My Heart Is A Sun

Home is the heart and I am never leaving the void. Boatman… sail

Daydreamer

Bluebird Stuck By The Tracks

A derivative of my other song, 'My Heart Is a Sun'. This was just for fun

Heart Is A Sun PT 2

Lyrics:
Please don’t let me be vain ever, I don’t wanna be vain ever 
I just wanna refrain from being in my head
Please don’t ever stop me if I ask Roxy to rock me,
Cuz someone’s gotta got me, my twin flame shot me for dead
Thinking about the sun, and his cousin Carissa, 
How mine and Vincent’s mortality troubles our soul
I don’t wanna refrain ever
I don’t wanna be vain ever
Ain’t nobody stay sane ever
And it’s getting old 

Glad someone’s enjoying themselves even if it can’t be me
My love took a torch to my brain and made me take the back seat

Don’t let me convince you
Don’t wanna tell you what to do 
What do I know that you really even don’t? 
Please don’t let me be vain ever
I don’t wanna be vain ever
I just wanna refrain from you kicking your stones
(In my glass heart)

Be Vain Ever

this song surprised me when i found it 
i made it in 15 mins then it entirely erased from my memory
funny story about this song, i put it together so sloppy & quick bc I was trying to save my dying relationship with it. but i knew when i listened to it back that it wasn't for him. it didn't feel like it was for him, even tho i wanted it to be. didn't resonate. my songs write themselves and THEY chose who they are for. 
NOW I know who its for.


lyrics:
you spend your whole life wondering if you could even love right
you spend your whole life drinking routine through a plastic straw
i'm sorry that i come blazing fire, burning like the demon
i know i'm here to take you higher, i'm the disaster you're leaving

you and me come from the same old soul
same old star
how we know
that we'd find each other again?
love, it always wins
and maybe its rough
and maybe its sad
but baby i promise you're the best i've had
when the light shines, we'll know how to treat it
I don't know why, we'll know how to beat it...


My heart is your sun ☀️

15 Mins (For my twin flame)

Lyrics:

Killin myself
(Gimmie mercy)

Highway babes
Running from the edge of the coast, yeah
Do you like your California? 

Highway Daze
Lookin for you side to side
Made me feel like I’d lost my mind

Ooh 

Hey you
I wanna be yours
Well it depends on how you get your crazy on
through life as it goes on

And what do you think about everybody else? 
If I was me in a perfect world I’d get the hell out

Flee from coast to coast
Sea of diamonds gonna take you home
Hot rodded, not hot rodded

Flee from coast to coast
Sea of diamonds gonna take you home
Hot rodded, not hot rodded

Hot rodded, not hot rodded(x4)

Highway Babes 2

Red Dragon Room (Drove By)

justttt messing around 
not rly my style 
i dont have a style tho. hmmmmm

heres the lyrics: 
young man on the microphone
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm

i stopped dancing because someone really hurt me
i stopped dancing because life was not eternity
get out your head
thats what they told me

young man on the microphone 
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
he throws it back to the gypsy realm

i stopped dancing because someone really hurt me
i stopped dancing because i remember every single bad thing
i remember every single bad thing

young man on the microphone
joan baez
and her gypsy realm
im not much
just going along
im not gonna take 
anybody but i know that you will get it
know that you will get it

young man on the microphone
he throws it back to the gypsy realm
throws it back to the gypsy realm
throws it back

Gypsy Realm

Lyrics

With a nice guy driving thru Nevada 
He’s a serious guy son of a gun 
In his eyes, yeah, you can tell he’s had a 
lot to think
withholding wisdom 

We park outside of the gift shop 
He’s not dancing around no more
He’s got a lot of tunes that he whistles
But he keeps his head down

Don’t gimmie that look honey
Don’t ginmie that look 
I know it’s not the best but
there’s a lot of places that I need to be
There’s a lot of wind that I need to feel

He had a nice drink sitting in the desert
He gets his brilliant ideas again 
A painter, mostly
I tell him that my head hurts
He’s so far in that he couldn’t listen

Don’t gimmie that look honey
Don’t ginmie that look 
I know it’s not the best but

The NV Desert

💎
❤️‍🔥🪐⭐️🧿
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Erika

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