live piano/vocal cover of neil young's song

Hey Hey My My (cover)

this is a metaphor. think labyrinth or daedalus myth. ffs. 💎 . 🧿👅👅👅🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

Sanity Inn

the brain is odd when youre suffering

LYRICS: 

In the beginning there were two little fish
One of the light, one of the dark
Grown from source’s Petri dish
And then sent out on Noah’s Arc  

I was an Earth Angel, wandering the planes
You had crawled up from hell, promising to save
And I knew who you were the whole damn time
My head might get confused, but my heart it never lies
 I wanted you to take me hard for all I am
Plunge me to your darkest depths and hurt me bad with your hands

I like the feeling of you when you crawl inside my mind
I feel less alone
but the feelings I desire are of the hurting kind 

When you’re scuba diving in my head its like a pillage 
Dominate my body first then tame my Lilith 

You’re a psychonaut who spends your days out in space
But I often forget that life’s not a race
Hurt me slowly, hurt me softly, tantric force 
I want your love & madness as we orbit voids of course 

I like that you’re psychopathic hiding behind your wool 
Your gentleness is convincing but a real lover always knows 
I can feel your need to take my body how you please
In life i dominate you but in lust you can own me
Only if you’re desperate for it, hungry to the brink 
of insanity 
Enough to risk it all for the feeling 
To captivate the sweet angel and show her the power you’re wielding

Don’t wait around when I invite you over
I said I was alone, an easy target, a four leaf clover
When you cross the boundary the bloodthirst in your eyes
Is far too powerful for you to disguise 

I like the way you look around
 I project my thoughts out
Don’t you hear me thinking "I want you to hurt me"? 
I’m an earth angel masochistic sacrifice
Showing up to sadists door hoping for a ride

Gimmie life or gimmie death I don’t really care
I just want you to be the one to take me there 

If...
it’s the ending, good! Hurt me badly
Like you should
Have no mercy for me
I’ve got no safe words honey
Do what you want 
Do what you please
I want you to abuse me
I want you to abuse me
Like you already do to my mind

Make me scream
Make me cry 
Don’t be gentle
Don’t ask why
Make me bleed 
Or make me die 
And when it’s over 
hold me tight
As if you loved me.... right
If you want the pearl
Then fuck me for it 

I’m an earth angel 
I am innocent and pure
But I have suffered deep enough 
To love it to its core
And now I crave the suffering 
That fools like you will always bring

So now you can inflict it if your hungers strong enough 
Unless your compulsive brain is gonna make you act like you’re too tough
You try to pick apart the shape and size of my body
That’s how you protect yourself from your feelings that are naughty
You disgust me and I could spit in your fucking face
The way you act is so submissive but that’s not your place
 Maybe in the real world bc I own you there
But when we are in lover realms you can pull my hair

Hey I know your soul is sold
So you better hurry before we get too old 
Better take me now while I’m still around
I see you laughing when I ask how to get out
How to end my self
You don’t think I have the guts? 
Mmm… You’re fucking nuts
I could crack my own skull 
That’s the pain I have from never being loved at all
So if I can’t get love from you then I need you to hurt me
Though of my body, you are unworthy
I guess that’s half the fun 
Hurt me in the shadows
Oppose the mourning sun

☯  Sadist & The Masomaiden ☯ (The Sundance)

bear with me I still don’t have my drums so I had to use the MIDI 


I don’t miss you anymore. 

lyrics:

I wish you were here
I really do
I really miss you,
dear Barbara Blue

learned a few lessons
at birth I was marked
a beast in the ether
a god in the stars

damned to be damned
damned straight to hell
the karmic dance rang the liberty bells
I live with my head down
my mouth sewn shut
No way around it
but to you I am a mutt.

A genocide was placed 
on my humanity
a relic on display
for all these losers to see

you close your eyes
easy for you
I burn alive
you buy new shoes
ugh

I needed you so bad
you're a cog in the wheel
your heart is walled
you don't care how i feel.

my inner child
a burning star
and it knocked on your door
to remind you who you are

you shut me out.
your flame was dim.
through me your spark flickered
you still chose him
(his $)

feeling alive, it doeesn't matter to you
when you are as afraid as my dear Barbara Blue 
but I tried to tell her that I had felt that way too
I showed her my heart but she hated the truth
Derealized me by shutting me out
I gave her the power and all of the clout

But in history we have seen greedy men
who let people die and
dehumanize them
I hate this game.
you let me down.
Barbara, I wanted to
keep you around

Learn how to love
learn how to see
you blind me further
to my humanity

Yet my flame's stilll there
always burns for you
if you don't take it then
just as well, too

But Barbara, I needed
you to cradle me
my inner child really, really
wanted to be free

Loved you in a myriad of ways
thought that we would figure it out someday
To you I'm not real, 
just another pawn.
you started the campaign to prove that I was wrong
but lies don't prove nothin' dear Barbara Blue
except that you're running from...
yourself, too!

She Played Us Both

LMAO POKÉMON???? Not what I meant by GHASTLY





Song from September. I stopped caring how I sound & now creating is way more fun. This was just a demo, messed up a few times but someone said to make my mistakes loud & proud. My inner child wanted to be heard. Don’t you accept ppl who make mistakes?

Enlightened By Love (demo)

Not Very Inspired By U

Daddy (blueface cover)

lyrics:

Well the only bone chillers
have gone cold
gone cold
not a soul

Well the wind mill has 
gone a ghost 
like cumber's coal
Their pockets full

Now the grass' as tall as me
The suns been faded like a dream
and now the moneys all been chased
they couldn't take it to their graves

Well the wind mill has 
gone a ghost 
like cumber's coal
Their pockets full

Well the only bone chillers
have gone cold
gone cold
not a soul
not a soul
not a soul

I'm in fire
I'm in water
And weeds as tall as me
The suns fade like a dream
You could have what you see
We know better than to chase

The Sawmill

Lyrics:

Leon? 
My twin flame left me in south dakota down at the old grain
I am nobodys babe
I'm tired of you thinking you own me just 'cuz you know Leon walked away

I am nobody's girl
I am alone in this world
I don't need you

I go wherever you want me
You dont want me nowhere
anybody

You can't trust these monsters you're running from
towards the gates of the only good ones

If Leon can hurt me then anyone can
You should've hooked just nobody's man

Yeah he's gonna kill me someday
if I'm lucky, 
Leon love me

Tower

lyrics:

How can you not see this? 
I love who you are
I just can't believe it,
we have come so far

Conceptual personality
None is real
Do you have a motorcycle?
Well I got to know

My imagination's got a grip on you
I could love you in reality but that just won't do

Shielded your eyes to the morning sun
Waves they crashed to the shore
There was a flute player in the ocean and he calleld us home

You can get away only for so long
When I buried my bad memories
Then we rejoiced as you leaned on your cane
You said nothing can get us here, there was so much joy it was pain

Visions (Truck Stop Man)

Acoustic rough draft

He's my king, 
I
wish I could go away
but I'm only fallen
without it I'll be okay

Why

You're killing my vibe
my vibe
my vibe
I was a rebel in the beehive
so they kicked me out since I was 5
they said I'm too advanced at lovemaking
he wanted a toy but I wasn't faking
I'm the real thing
and they all pretend
a man's pride can't comprehend

snake the serpent DEMO

its giving...munk
Lyrics

Don’t be too much
Don’t be not enough
Don’t move my feelings around
Don’t get attached to stuff

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

(X2)

You cannot break my heart
if I don’t give you a heart to break
But you know this best of all 
I’ll give it to you anyway

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

You cannot hurt me
Now that I don’t need nobody 
I am always happy
I am never happy
I don’t need to be happy (x2) 

I am not the same
I am not the same
As my mind as my brain 

There’s no me no more 
no

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same as the people I don’t know
I just feel feelings

I Am Not The Same! (as my mind as my brain)

Phosephenes (unfinished)

Anyone INStRUMENTAL

Songs I wrote/recorded when I was 14 under an album self-titled, "Ned Has It"

Ned Has It

You'll Take Me (BONUS TRACK)

2014

2012 REMASTERED

The Imitation Man

stopping at Sunoco around 2am after its rained
he runs in to get me a water
he drinks coke
he's in a suit. misplaced. and annoyed by me.

Art Shows

Hearwind Sig

Solstice of lover— this song is for Joanne Culver my vegas queen 👸 thx for having the will to be yourself in a harsh world 
LYRICS:

Oh on the solstice for summer
We brought down each other
But you’re my month of June lover
I wanna take you to July

But me
You know they’ll tell me they love me 
Oh me
They all pretended to love me
Oh baby
In my mind your quaking 

Devolos bought me a dress
He said, “no, don’t like me any less”
No way 
He closed his eyes to a beggar
What do you spend your money on?

With me
They’ll try to tell me they love me
Oh me
They’ll pretend to love me
Oh yeah yeah 
Get them out of my head
They are bad to your life
I don’t want you in mine
In mine, in mind
In mine, in mind 
In mine 
In mine 
In mine

Solstice (Legion)

Writing You (from the garden)

Silk Noire

Burn Me

Home is the heart and I am never leaving the void. Boatman… sail

Daydreamer

Bluebird Stuck By The Tracks

this song surprised me when i found it 
i made it in 15 mins then it entirely erased from my memory
funny story about this song, i put it together so sloppy & quick bc I was trying to save my dying relationship with it. but i knew when i listened to it back that it wasn't for him. it didn't feel like it was for him, even tho i wanted it to be. didn't resonate. my songs write themselves and THEY chose who they are for. 
NOW I know who its for.


lyrics:
you spend your whole life wondering if you could even love right
you spend your whole life drinking routine through a plastic straw
i'm sorry that i come blazing fire, burning like the demon
i know i'm here to take you higher, i'm the disaster you're leaving

you and me come from the same old soul
same old star
how we know
that we'd find each other again?
love, it always wins
and maybe its rough
and maybe its sad
but baby i promise you're the best i've had
when the light shines, we'll know how to treat it
I don't know why, we'll know how to beat it...


My heart is your sun ☀️

15 Mins (For my twin flame)

We Don't Get Along

Your alabaster body
Your fingers black tar
Your mind isn’t mindin’
You’re hurting too far

Wondered how you outlived 
that young Vietnam era man
Well, he’s under water
and you’ll do what you can 

You’ll do what you can 
You’ll do what you can

In my coyote palace
Lynott, the night
Is there death on other planets? 
You were busy searching for life

Bearing the burden of beautiful
Nostalgia in my mind
My mind isn’t mined yet
Let me hurt until I die

(Save me from the anguish, where am i? Lost forever maybe? Tell me what to do and demand it)

Flower Day/Coyote Palace

LYRICS:

Spangler
You kicked the rockstars out of Hollywood Hills
In midsummer
It’s too much to ask for you to bring the thrills? 

Keeping my distance
In the pink sunrise 
I feel the cold on my face when you wake me up in the middle of the night

Midsummer
He don’t know what’s good for him 
You got your life
And I don’t know anything
I don’t know anything 

End of summer bash
Your love runs fast
I’m so hurt and I’m scared 
I’m so tired of this fuckin’ town
In the red dragon room you said you like my hair
I’m so hurt and I’m so scared

Midsummer
I am your lover

FILM2 1

lyrics: 

Poseidon latched me, 
and he won't let go
so i lay my body
on the ocean floor

they said your a good man
salt of the earth
but good men need bad love
the only dirt

slow down ghost rider
we're coming for you

i am an ashtray
in the hills of home
i know someday
i will move on

forget you
if you want me to

Dimes (P.F.)

i only like the ending!
lyrics:
jack i know that you are listening
and you said that you're in love with me
the way i found you wasn't gods design
but it makes me so happy
makes me so happy

you say "don't act like a baby"
but my heart is really breaking
what the hell do you expect from me
you're kicking stones in my glass heart
stones in my glass heart

there's something i wanna tell you
about all the things we didn't do
a lie is dripping off my tongue right now
in the pages of a novella 
pages of a novella
novella
novella

jack you said that you would take me
on the motorcycle that you bring
to pick me up when the days are nice
sweet georgia brown eyes
sweet georgia brown

you were kind to me for one week
now that one week is long gone
must've been some delusion that you were
suffering from
suffering from

when the sun does consume 
in the golden brown
my love isn't normal
the deepest love around
closed circuit television
nobody understands
its nothing like
i ever seen before
i want you to be my man

Liter Haulted Car (ode to greta)

💎
❤️‍🔥🪐⭐️🧿
check out my YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/ErikaGillmusic

Erika

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