"i've been running through your mouth like a subtitle"

Tidal.m4a

Dell - Neptune D

step out and you will find
step out and you will find
step out and you will find sensation in some way x2

I've been stuck in the same place
Mind's been stuck in the state
All it took was just one little step
All it took was just one little step to change
one little step to change to change

step out and you will find
step out and you will find
step out and you will find sensation in some way x2

I've been losing track of the days
I've been losing track of those who stayed
All it took was just one little step
All it took was just one little step to change
one little step to change to change

step out and you will find
(you will find)
step out and you will find
(you will find)
step out and you will find sensation in some way
(Some way somehow)

step out and you will find
(you will find)
step out and you will find
(you will find)
step out and you will find sensation in some way

Sensation

though midnight came,
like a jacket in the breeze
you never forgot to shiver,
but only to the thought of me
- ivan.

shiver (cover)

Another semi-angsty piece but a lil different from the other ones I'm p sure.

Lyrics:
I’ve just been smoking and poking around
Thinking about how all these highs are just bringing me down
Questioning my failing friendships and looking back in the past
I wish I could get over things, a year goes by so fast

And I almost feel like I don’t belong, As of late, I’ve grown to hate every single one of my songs
I feel like no matter what I have- it’ll just leave and begone
I’ve grown out of blendtastic, but I still don’t really know Vaughn

I feel like all this nonsense is finally making me nauseous 
I don’t know what to do- I’ve finally ran out of all of my outlets
So Vro, send some guidance my way
Cause I’m Still contemplating if I’m here to stay
Cause I’m Still contemplating what’s right to say
Cause I’m Still contemplating if I wanna stray
(But fuck it)
I’ve been in search for a certain combination but I’ve feel like I’ve pulled the plug on all my luck
Find a girl to give my love but she just wanna fuck and the girl I wanna fuck just wants my love
Trouble relating, tried meditating, tried to go dating, now I’m debating
Whether or not to go all out or just pull it all back
Always unsure on how to feel- always a little out of wack 

And I’m struggling to find out who I am man
This girl ain’t interested and the next one’s obsessed but- why do I even give a damn
Vro, send some guidance my way
Cause I’m still contemplating if I’m here to stay
Cause I’m still contemplating what’s right to say
Cause I’m still contemplating if I wanna stray

My life is seemingly falling apart at the seems
My whole reality is a nightmare or might just be a woke dream
Tryna keep my hopes up whilst having a low self-esteem
Everyday tends to be average if not stressful by any means

No- I need to be alone- I cannot answer the phone
Girl- you ain’t been here from the get go- don’t expect my hand to hold
Fuck it- keep these hand warmers in case you get too cold
I aint mad at yah- I’m just frustrated that I never feel at home

Bitch- I haven’t been content- shit just don’t make fucking sense
Too much shit don’t fucking make sense- fuck it- you really want my two cents?
I don’t give a fuck about you just because I feel loneliness 
Get the fuck up out my face before a beat fucks you up like I wish I did

Single

Confusion

Lyrics

(@foolhive)

He used to keep tally marks on his wrist
And if the misses missed how they stitched
He'd vaguely smile under the guise of their kiss
The truth under the scarring skin and the fake bliss
After 10, 20, 50 days something finally clicked
The realization that the only reason he's not dead and he won't kill himself is To hold onto this

(Forgotten youth)

Maybe its a part time
Maybe its a long line
I dont even care about 
My mistake (mistakes, mistakes, mistakes)
(mistakes, mistakes, mistakes, mistakes)

Baby can you feel my heart 
Beating through the lights of stars (stars)
Baby can you feel my heart 
Beating through the lights of stars (stars)
(stars, stars, stars)

(@foolhive)

He said "baby, of course, some day 
I might die but this love is gonna overthrow God"
And when the sky falls stand high and tall cause 
I'll gaze upon your face like I did at the start
And I'll make a descending stairway even if I tear heaven apart
I'll let the devil help if God catches onto me 
I'll let him bring the pain and pleasure to heaven with sinning and sodomy
Don't look back, don't let them take me away
Peace out of heaven and hades and say

(Forgotten youth)

Maybe its a part time
Maybe its a long line
I dont even care about 
My mistake (mistakes, mistakes, mistakes)
(mistakes, mistakes, mistakes, mistakes)

Baby can you feel my heart 
Beating through the lights of stars (stars)
Baby can you feel my heart 
Beating through the lights of stars (stars)
(stars, stars, stars)

Apocalypse's love

[Part time.]{ft. FoolHive}

“about you.” ft j.pappas
(lyrics)

i can’t stop thinking 
bout you,
can’t stop thinking,
bout you,
yeah.
look.

(ivan) 

i’m so surprised that you called,
suffocated by problems involved,
with the way that you walk up to him,
just to run back to me,
and i’ll pick up your fall.
i’m frustrated,
my feelings in this life have been sedated, 
and every time you wanna cry i fucking hate it,
i’ll open up but my heart’s just been gated,
look, i’ll ease up on ya,
i’ll be running through your mind like a subtitle,
and the feelings so divine,
i’m above titles,
different waves, 
so your fans found a new idol.
icon in the works,
this a new cycle.
it’s that feeling of the pain,
& the long nights too,
where the stars never align,
and you’re so insightful.

the pain is vital,
the pain is vital.
yeah yeah the pain is vital

can’t stop thinking,
about you.
i can’t stop thinking,
about you.



(j.pappas)

bout you,
bout you,
bout you, oh.
really nothing hurts cause your always on my mind.
really that’s an issue cause i’m pretty out of line.
i can not describe this big ol’ feeling of mine.
gotchu on repeat in my head it’s like a line,
and i’m trying.
still can’t deny it,
emotional silence,
metaphorically crying,
oh i am,
too weak to admit it.
oh look i did it again,
could’ve been more than just friends,
but you kept playing pretend.

all beginnings must come to an end.
all beginnings must come to an end.
all beginnings must come to an end.

i can’t stop can’t stop thinking no...

(poem)

with all the love i haven’t given.
i promise if you take my love for granted,
there’s no better life to...
live in.
so,
so love in the now while 
the past still holds us.
stop, 
just stop playing games and turn off your controller.
i just wanna hold you.
like each letter written with the thought of you.
and even though it was for somebody else
as it comes with each passing.
that i can’t stop thinking about you.
i just,
i just can’t.

about you. ft j.pappas

every time i close my eyes i still see your smile.
and every time we touch your skin just stays for a while.

you’re a catch but not i’m not a receiver.
had me falling without any reason.
so i fell, and you laugh while i’m bleeding,
i want you to stay but you ended up leaving.
so i ended up screaming,
for your love as you call me uneven.
but you looked at my shape,
never minded my weight,
so you gave something to believe in.
look babe,
i know that i drove you crazy,
2014 mercedes,
i know, i know know.
yeah,
just a young kid in a mind of his own,
finding some love in some places unknown,
i’m praying you call, pick up your phone.
i love when you smile,
your smile is my home.

smile.

all these letters never sent?
and all these voicemails that i left you,
never sent?
and now you posting all your happiness on instagram while i was sitting crying for 6 months without a hand.
“i’m sorry love,
that i don’t have all of the strength to give you hugs.
and how you cried over facetime wasn’t enough.
see it was god who told me that you weren’t the one.”

i was one who,
helped you love.
and gave you strength,
to show you trust.
and i admit,
yeah i fucked up.
but there’s a difference between loving me & lust.

i kept on 
loving you wrong,
and so i’ve written song after song.
just to reach out,
and let you remember that i’ve been your rebound since last year’s december.

when the snow fell harder than it looked,
my lips kept on cracking,
my songs had no hooks.
i stayed in my bed,
had no love for my books.
& i gave up on school,
all the time that it took,
to remember you.
and all the little memories that made me smile,
they went and faded blue.
or maybe black when it was back to how i’d see it through.
just me and you.
on facetime just me and you.
the distance blinded me so i just couldn’t feel it through.

hrtbrkn pt. 2

Available everywhere today!
share now, enjoy now
instagram - describer

about you. ft j.pappas

escape ivan

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