Closer than before

Lifelong connection

body and soul, shredding them whole
	breathe in my particles make you my home
	honesty ghost, nobody knows
	infinity tapped in, i heard from my bones

still the same bug i cant metamorph    
fuck my whole past i want it scorched
burnt out fast, words felt forced, id burn my cash if it healed hurt
constant whiplash, im unconcerned  
 just another day on this beautiful world
everything you say carries beautiful tone    
hate when you go thats when uglyness shows

let the light in the sky carry my guilt
try n find signs from what ive built
i think of that time cuz i forgot how it felt
saving my life from the trouble ive held

let all my worries transform into clouds
euphoria fills me, i cant feel for now
saying youre sorry, dont start with me now
saying youre sorry, dont start with me now

U Lie

im way to bogged down youre uninvolved now
wave your wand for me catch the shame from me
stretched my skin to breathe sowing seeds of sin
know you'll be again   know youll be again

surface of the world feels so far
transform a word, i give it heart
talk and no ones heard evolve me with some worth

	 im back in the mud  

judge what youve seen, i hope you be a different being
circus in town id know we'd meet
we happen to be both be lonely  we cant link youre ghosting me 
act unknown to me connection feels so foreign

put in no effort i know what's coming
union is my answer, i want love overflowing

hell on earth found oasis in you
sanctuary dont seem so far    



entrancement brought me to ruin, second chances for me to ruin

	health took hurt you see me losing 
	ill find a way to part  . . .

Back in the mud

dysfunctional paradigms
i walk dd  off and paid  the price  
love 4rm u so necessary
im greedy bout u .. can u really blame me

hate when we fall off    afraid when i feel locked out 
exchanges get shortened, i recall when we had no bounds
u disappeared once so im not worried bout it
i never put a front up, im explicit with my message

im mattering more once im back on the floor
bring the warmth out the birds
out the way of movement, but i figure we could cool a bit
i recognize your heartbeat i heard u in the hallway
consistent with my offerings, Youre maddened when im dumb late
blisss is always following, cant seem to get infront of me
i already glisten hard enough the sun cant fwm
the dread can never boss me up, im stuck inside a dream

deathless junction, whereever we're forever
less of your love has me under the weather
me and you a few degrees from being held together
simplicity was never in my hands  
i know you could fix me
our confessions are long overdue
i become restless as i ponder over you

Greedy

You brought me up from dust
i cant shake this feeling that theres something more to us
if this doesnt go well ill end it with a gun to my head, 
gun to my head

Pray my obsession doesnt drive you away
id turn my back on everyone to see you today
Forget what I said, I dont want things to change
My urge is so repulsive, I'm red in the face

I see the moon, you see the sun
My day loses meaning when our skies switch up
I've lost some sleep, I want to keep in touch
Gave me a reason to look forward to waking up

Disregard my disposition, 
Open up to you, hoping i do not regret this
It hurts me to say,
Please dont make me a temporary escape

I'm in a disturbing place again
Keeping my space, it's embarrassing 
An inconvenient time to be placed within
But because of now, I've met you, its bliss

i see the moon, you see the sun

I don't mean to be dramatic  I just want to know whats happening
Did I do too much, did I lose my love?
I know I'm not the one, sleepwalk into a bus
Such a steep drop into nothing
Won't keep my heart locked I'll free myself

Even if we stop, you can come down here
We can still have fun, we can fake what's real
Feel that right now    time can always heal
Say that right now    time can always kill

Nights come cold    my life it will go forward
I dont know if im built for this,
 idgaf anymore

None of what I said has changed
Douse myself in acid, see straight through me
Acting up off nothing I can sense the strain 
Doubting my assumptions cements my faith
I don't want to lose you, I can give you space
Demons in my head come when I think it's safe
I wont get to summer just stay a dream to me

This my last time being dramatic, i promise

Say I'm meaningless, you can make it so much simpler
Say I'm meaningless, you can make it that much easier for me
Say I'm meaningless, you can make it that much simpler for me
Say I'm meaningless, we could have all of this be so much easier

They want me in their lives but I just want to sever ties with everybody
I don't want to hear your lies, you can save all that shit for your other option
View me as a one night type, my soul is a vice I give as a lifestyle
Stupid me, I'm not that bright
Naive under lights, I will never have it right with you

Take what I give you and run off endlessly
I take none of what you said seriously
I can never miss you, your heart never shaped for mine
You got a vivid imagination, 
There is no reality in which you're fixing me

I should've saved all that shit for someone else, 
Someone who deserves it all

Someone else deserves it

I was seeing all types of signs
Not no other side, you and I
If I could decide, you'd all die
Peaceful to my eyes, not on my mind

Places I want to be with you

Give me interruptions if we're parting
Making a disturbance,
Took the wrong way again
Aware of expiration once I'm free from hands
A wave I'm walking through,
I don't need to swim
The pavement seems like a nice fit
Draft too many statements for you I could never send
Not too excited right now, I'd waste a wish
Where ever you went, I will come by wind

Peaceful

Performances
Dissolve me in your mist
Poor defense on my part
Blow me apart, my heart

This is no true end
Forever left your mark
Continue to play stupid, eyes from afar

Stay blind to my wish
I'm alive and I'm running
My confidence is thinning
Your fake is abundant
A possibility for reunion can only come strong
if we decide it's our funeral

I feel many futures doomed from the start
Refuse to refute you
My promise lasts long
Rotation of users,
And I am just a pawn
Save me from the usual
I wish that we could talk
Another world to wash away
Another road, Ill find my way
Enough bones to rearrange
Lust froze my brain

Throw me, throw me
Throw me as far as you can

Stay blind to my wish
I'm alive and I'm running
My confidence is thinning
Your fake is abundant
A possibility for reunion can only come strong
if we decide it's our funeral

Reunion and True End

Reaping through falsity
Trapdoors have say, you don't walk free

Signals at play have us bonding
Face that you hide behind
phases of finding

Forgive me, I'm so behind
Empty locket, I'm only shown time
We don't expect to feel
We're both found surprised

How real can we keep it
Turning on each other in the deep end
Shorten my decay as a being
You're pointless for no reason
There's no hope on this evening

Shame and exclusion
Bye, I'm clueless
Trepidation arises, all consuming
Everything's so simple
It just brings me amusement
Bouquet of flowers for you before they're blooming
Went the wrong way on my way to you, I'm looping
If I was in your place, I'd walk away, have nothing to do with me
Sincere as can be with no taste for another
Supposed accidents can happen
Til then, I don't want you

Every type of cloud circles me
Around and around, it disturbs me
Come now, I'm hurting
Showing I could mend the worst parts of me
I wanna show you off off rip
Days through days, dispose of me quick
Dwell where you've put me, I live in your image

One Hopeless Evening

u came here weird demo

candlelight

palm

closer than before demo

Opposite ends of a dance
One wrong step turn events intense
Our harmony needs no convincing
Harm, my heart bending
No masks
No pretending
Instinct

Links formed still chained around my neck
Stitches undone exposed flesh
Finding enjoyment in false sense
Open up to be destroyed again

The sun can't set on my wait
The sun can't set on my wait
The sun can't set on my wait
The sun can't set on my wait

Tempt me in earnest
Turning with static
You didn't earn me, but I'm here and you can have me
Taste of plastic take my magic
Take your passion, let me crash it
Lost in castles you've made actual
Not a single word actually felt actual

The sun can't set on my wait

Plastic

Tell me everything I should know

Dirt

Sand ash mud sludge

It's a humdrum present
No more connecting
No more presence

Spectation from the grave where you buried me
Devastation in your wake, no living seed
Initially I felt the fun was never ending
Accessory for life, I'm something to brandish

Memories flashing, do I need to say much more
Sever me, actually, I'll hand you the saw
Muscle atrophy, I hide away from the world
Our finality left me in a blur

Abolishing that space for thought, any trace dissolved
Frolicking to sounds of thunder, don't care to respond

Acknowledging my ways have faults,
I know what I live through
I brought my whole heart, I'm not trying to confuse you

I'm not in disguise
You don't have to panic

I'm not in the sky
You don't have to panic

you don't have to panic

Should we stand in the wind
There's nothing else after this
Succession of accidents until a last breath

Passion walks off with stealth,
No difference made

Deliver me a dream,
Kill me where I lay

I can't obscure the loss
Seconds 'til all lost
Reawaken in the fall
Came close to being done

I can't obscure the loss
Seconds 'til all lost
Reawaken in the fall
Came close to being done

Winter eternal, wither internal
Current of the river keeps me going and going

Winter eternal, wither internal
Current of the river keeps me going and going

Having it all linger is not good for my health
Pulled into the thick of the woods, 
dependence is enduring

Splinters of my wooden shield from adolescence burrowed in my tendons

Reflect upon ghosts, it's the tone of all I show

I can't obscure the loss
Seconds 'til all lost
Reawaken in the fall
Came close to being done

I can't obscure the loss
Seconds 'til all lost
Reawaken in the fall
Came close to being done

how to obscure loss

four hands have to let go demo

Gone with the world, it all fell apart
Drowning from the start, run around headless
how far you expect me to get?
Burnt bridge, no intent to mend, leave it all fucked up

Back off slowly blood pours only

You're beneath and above
You're beneath and above
You're beneath and above
You're beneath and above

Forgetful expression
Be for me, four hands have to let go blurring so uselessly beauty in zero
impulse should urge me to say no, no i'll never catch her stay in my head
watching me shatter, do you want me dead

you want me to be nothing so bad
make me into something like that 
make me into something like that 
make me into something like that

Four Hands Have to Let Go

So cruel
No confusion exits
Excess of occlusion
Destruction of some future

Forgive me, can you do that
New skin but your name's still in it
Heavy fog keep the worst hidden
I wish I let you go before you made a difference

Season of repose
Being realistic, the fantasies can go
Let it all be fiction
Sleeping undisturbed
Struck by what I'm missing with or without her

Undecided, undecided
Many webs laid
I'm cold inside them
Terrain changed fast
In these conditions why wouldn't I go mad

Let it be fiction

Uncommon to be found fast
Far from enough, more can be said
Trust running up
It's a blank check
How many blinks for me to reset

Flutter your wings
Destruction and amputation
True deformity
Bare myself for your perception
For eternity spiraling in all reflection
Qualms are born in me
Neglecting to nurture belief

Reset

Doves nosediving come out of hiding, out of body
My year is ink blotted
Don't come back if you're holding back on honest
I'm looking back over broken promise
Darker paths you're emerging from
Get back to it before the room catches breath
Cheapen my shoes tracing your steps  
Perfect loss like we've never had a head
Dirty palms are the pair to exist

Hesitant to acknowledge my decisions and 
where they've gotten me
Simple pictures taunt, taunt
Lights flickering on and off

Spin me til im
sick sick sick sick
sink sink sink sink
swim swim swim swim


I still got questions, answer those
It's all unsettled, how the fuck can I go

I'm not real cause I'll change
Deal me new
Should be dead
Watch it bloom
Confuse me and you

Indifference hearing a name that could've once set off explosions
Our difference and the change is too great, we're bending out of focus

Swim and Sink

Another rough number coming up clumsy
I won't raise the shutter
Fazed and encumbered, now you have to hear every word of it
Running on and mumbling 
Is your patience running thin

Cleansing what holds old daylight
Beautiful hoax on all sides

Our exchange of cells and home
A special type of keeping
Abuse the shape of words
We're all dramatized speaking 
Vacant room held its weight from one hundred different laughs
Guessing games, guess I'll play
Clear view in the past

Wrong side of the edge so I'm here again

Guessing game

It's the next thing
Stopping it never

Bad blood push us closer than we want
Unnatural life 
Tied up with tongues
Night 's moving on
To me there's no difference

Picking up in a different phase
Character separation
Come collect me at a later stage
Today rejects me, I can't feel a way
Impact, back-to-back 
I can't begin to explain it

Finally talkin
I got comfortable
Walkin around I got uncomfortable
Close call
Weights heavy
Falling on whoever lets me









next thing

Lowlights lasting for how long
Envy before I start
Under one limb out of hundreds 

To be together
Or in two shadows

Pins in fabric too tattered
Hid between a blink, it's better if you turn
Hid between a blink 
How long before you learn
All blurred mass I can't care to discern
Hollow, superficial, in too shallow
No-show
Imprecision brings me battle
I'm in bad form, it's casual
I don't got no glove , fuck I look like catching up

To be together
Or in two shadows





Etching Endless

Pinned to spotlight

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