This song has a bit more meaning than most. As most of my songs in my albums are like chapters in a novel, this one's a stand alone and the entire story is encapsulated in this one song. I don't usually include a behind the lyrics as I like to leave the interpretation up to the listener, but I felt like this time I should share the story I meant this song to portray.

Behind the lyrics

"Chasing the clouds, wish I could turn back time" - The protagonist is consumed by regret and wishes they could go back and change what happened. They are constantly looking for signs, for anything that could indicate that someone they love is considering suicide. The protagonist is extra vigilant now.

"These pictures they last and I regret the pleas that I passed by" - The protagonist is haunted by the memory of the girl and feels guilty for not recognizing her pleas for help.

"Like you're a mirror I see my fears, they're staring back at me" - The protagonist sees their own fears and insecurities reflected in the memory of the girl and the tragedy that occurred.

"I couldn't endear her, the edge of her trust is falling way too steep" - The protagonist failed to earn the girl's trust and feels responsible for her suicide.

"We live in red hotels, and there's no story to tell" - The "red hotels" represent places of despair and uncertainty, and the lack of a story suggests that the protagonist is unwilling to share the details of the tragedy.

"She's gonna take her life, she's gonna kill herself" - The protagonist is plagued by thoughts of the girl's suicide, and the repetition of these phrases emphasizes the impact that it has had on them.

"Rubies all over her shelf" - The "rubies" are a symbol of the girl's blood splatter, which is evidence of her tragic end.

"We live in red hotels, and there's a story to tell" - The protagonist can't bear the weight of his guilt any longer; the story of her end and his experience in dealing with the trauma must be told.

"These walls are crying for help" - The walls represent emotional barriers that people put up when they are emotionally distressed or have experienced an event that causes them to second-guess every relationship they are in or will be in. The protagonist feels that the walls of the hotel are the girl's emotional barriers, and the repetition of "red hotels" emphasizes the impact that the girl's suicide has had on them.

"They scream in my ears, it's getting deafening" - The memory of the girl's suicide is overwhelming and difficult to bear. The protagonist can't get her pleas out of their mind, and they are so loud that they can physically hear them, making everything else around them go mute as the PTSD of the situation completely overwhelms them.

"If I could turn back the time, these clouds that fill in your sky, the chains you left me in I would give you everything, I'd give her everything" - The protagonist wishes they could go back in time to prevent the girl's suicide, and is consumed by guilt and regret.

"She's in a red hotel, rubies all over the shelf" - The repetition of this line reinforces the impact that the girl's suicide has had on the protagonist.

"They sparkle shining with wealth, these chains that I'm in, the gems imprisoned me" - Her blood, or the 'rubies' sparkle in the sunlight as it rises. She took her life before sunrise, and the light shining on the blood through her window is making it glisten in a dark, sorrowful beauty. The gems are the rubies. The memory of the scene forever imprisons the protagonist, as their life will never again be the same. The guilt and regret are like a prison, trapping them in a cycle of pain and despair.

Escapist

Lost in Time

Twisted Fate

A Meadow of Thorns

Bleeding Chrome

Bleeding Chrome (prod. myss)

Solace (prod. myss)

Crown (prod. Noah Birch)

Stream ETHN "Psychosis," out now on ALL platforms!
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Prod. myssbeats

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Psychosis

Stream ETHN "Idolism," out now on ALL platforms!
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Prod. myssbeats

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Idolism

Stream ETHN "Fault Line," out now on ALL platforms!
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Prod. myssbeats

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Fault Line

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Again

Twinflame

Stream ETHN "Icarian," out now on ALL platforms!
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Prod. myssbeats

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Icarian is the most meaningful song I’ve ever written. It's an honest, introspective confession. It highlights the awareness of my self-imposed disconnection from the one who gave me everything. It's my confession to being a lukewarm Christian. I feel further than I've ever been, and I want to come home.

If you're struggling maintaining your faith, this song is for you. It's never too late, and you're never too far gone.

Icarian

Prod. lonelyawxy

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Further Under

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Prod. Yami's Sin

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Aegis

Stream ETHN "Numina," out now on ALL platforms!
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Prod. NeverExIsted

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Numina

Lyrics

You’ve been gone long enough for this to settle
But my voice still knows your name
Your name
Your name
I hear it in the silence,
In the pause to fill your frame
And in the air that won’t stay still
I feel your heart 

Calling me

You said distance showed you truth
So you built a room out of it
But I can see you pacing through my songs
My songs
Do you miss the sound of me?

So turn up all the volume
And keep pretending like it’s nothing

I’ve learned to sleep through it all
Most nights
I still miss seeing you all prettied up smiling under the city lights
But closed doors are locked only if you meant it
I think the key’s where neither of us could get it
And there’s nothing worth saving that’s dead and gone

But maybe in the next life, 
I can hold you in my arms for the first time in forever
So maybe it’s time to let you go now
Maybe it’s time to lose my hope now
I think that I’ll move on

From my make-believe
And maybe you’ll find love with someone more than all the best of me

Eclipse

prod. saint mike

Lyrics

You still fade in
Like heat
On metal

I still feel you
Before I hear you
I still feel you
And your love

Your name
I can’t forget it
Your face
I’ll never let it
Slip away

Your name drifts through the room
I know that it shouldn’t
Trusted you when I couldn’t
Slip away

Stuck in place,
I touch the space

Between our love

Like heat
On metal
I still feel you
And your love

Serein

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Prod. cristalbeach

Paper Heaven

I haven't posted in a while so Ill just drop a previous song I had recorded while I work on the better stuff :)

Real One

The meaning behind this song is crazy. I tried something different, made my voice sound a little robotic. Hope you guys like it.

Regrets

Haven't dropped the album yet, so I'll give a single up for ya'll. Peace.

Remember?

Truth

Drifttyyy

Might Care

Dedicated to my best friend. Love you bro

My Princess

Her Interlude

Single

D.I.E (Do I Exist?)

Heartbreak Interlude

She Can't Leave

I'm Tired.

End Interlude

Just a hobby

Stream my music: ffm.bio/ethn_v
Email: ethn.sound@gmail.com

ETHN

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