THOUGHTS THAT CONTROL ME

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Thuggish Ruggish Bone

WHY NOT?

PARTY MONSTER

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A Reminder to Remember. #2

We were talking fine,
laughing fine,
everything smooth,
no walls, no signs.
Then my battery chirped—
that little warning chime,
and I said,
“Hold on a second, just need a minute of time.”

Your smile dropped like a stone in water,
eyes widened like I’d confessed a crime.
Funny how one sentence
turns you into someone I don’t recognize.

“Wait… you’re deaf?”
As if the whole time I’d been tricking you,
as if I hid some big reveal
designed to personally inconvenience you.

You were warm before,
now you’re cautious.
You were normal before,
now you’re conscious
of every word, every breath, every move—
like suddenly I’m something to improve.

I said “Hold on a second,”
not “Rewrite who I am.”
I needed a battery,
not your pity or your scam.
You switched up fast
like the truth unspun you—
Oh, now I’m deaf?
Funny how that suddenly changed you.
Hold on a second…
I didn’t change.
Your reaction did.

You start speaking slow,
like I’m fragile glass,
pausing between words
like minutes have to pass.
You turn your head to check
if I’m keeping pace,
but your awkwardness is louder
than anything I can replace.

Before the battery died,
you treated me fine.
Now you’re over-enunciating,
acting like I crossed some line.
It’s wild how your tone
went from relaxed to staged—
like one tiny truth
made the whole script change.

I told you nothing new,
nothing shocking, nothing wild—
but suddenly you’re handling me
like I’m some scared child.

I said “Hold on a second,”
not “Treat me like a case.”
I needed a moment,
not a whole new face.
You switched up quick,
like my silence offended you—
Oh, now I’m deaf?
Funny how that suddenly shook you.
Hold on a second…
I didn’t change.
Your comfort did.

You didn’t mind
when I heard enough to keep things smooth.
But the second I needed clarity?
You forgot how to move.
You forgot who I was.
You forgot we were fine.
All because I needed
one damn minute of time.

It’s not my job to ease your fear.
It’s not my job to disappear.
I’m still me—
battery in, battery out—
but you only see the silence,
not what I’m about.

I said “Hold on a second,”
not “Redefine me now.”
I didn’t ask for pity
or whatever this is somehow.
You switched up fast
for something that’s always been true—
Oh, now I’m deaf?
Welcome to the part you never knew.
Hold on a second…
If one battery scares you,
wait ‘til you learn
everything else I’ve been through.

I needed a pause.
You needed a warning.
Now I’m back…
but you’re not the same.

it won't be me

euphoric.x

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zachary liyah

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