This piece of music began as a piano reduction (like all of my works do...that is how I compose) that was interesting, but not remarkable. However, I knew that within it were some rather unconventional, if not disconcerting harmonic gestures that I could probably "milk" for some rather grotesque (in the art aesthetic sense of the term - meaning "contradictory", "unsettling but fascinating", etc., not "gross" or "nasty") elements.

So I took the four-part harmony of the piano reduction which was quite contrapuntal, and split it into four synth layers which act in a fugal manner. This accomplished what I was looking for! Not only did each line interact more clearly with the others (showing how "weird" counterpoint really is!) but the slightly detuned overtones of the synths really added extra creepiness to it.

I was reading about a mathematician Kurt Goedel at the time I wrote this. He was a genius but had a persistent delusion that people were trying to poison him, so when his wife became ill (not from poison...) and had to go to the hospital for a few weeks, he refused to eat (since she always cooked his food and he trusted her only --- I guess he never learned how to cook for himself?) and starved to death. I think this piece captures that pretty effectively.

Kurt Goedel's Delusions

Keeping with this set's theme of "limits of the mind", this piece explores nearly constant changes of emotional content (although each listener would presumably experience something different as internal emotions are ineffable). This piece is probably the most conventionally tonal of them all, and could pass as a piece of church music in all honesty. 

However, I think due to the strange modulations (key changes) and irregular chord resolutions, it features almost peculiar shifts in emotion from dreary isolation to almost trance-like euphoria within a few bars. If looked at in a removed level, the song is actually unsettling due to the rapid nature of these affective shifts. It is almost analogous to the mixed states of bipolar disorder or the type of emotional changes experienced in borderline personality types. 

I think the power of modern music is best seen as the ability to represent "pathological" states of mind in a safe way via music so that "normal" people can experience mini-experiences of such states, and people in those states can sort of "train" themselves to not be so unsettled by them.

Affect Changes

Unlike some of the other pieces in this set, this piece does not represent any sort of pathological mental state. In fact, it could be seen as a "release" from the grips of inner turmoil after a long struggle. The song is rather hypnotic in quality (especially the interaction between the electric piano and the synth pad) and by the time it reaches its climax (around 2/3 though the song), it induces a very "In the Moment" type of feeling that is a calming experience.

The tonal aspects are common to the Classical Era more than the Romantic or Modern. Mozart used similar structures in his music. But for this song, it is exactly what was called for. 

Enjoy!

Achieving Peace of Mind

Research has shown that there is a personality trait or tendency in all humans called "schizotypy". This trait can be seen at extremely low levels, to moderate levels (which would be your typical eccentric person) or high levels (borderline psychotic states) in various people. I associate this trait with the artistic principle of "The Grotesque" which you can read all about in Adorno's book "Aesthetic Theory" where he argues that this is the key to separating modernist art from art of the Renaissance through Romantic eras. 

The harmonic structure of the piece is extremely complicated to describe in a short paragraph but involves what is called 'set theoretic interval manipulation" which is a form of pseudo-atonality which preserves a tonal center. It can be seen as a parody or ironic take on tonal music in fact, which gives it such a simultaneously attractive but unsettling feeling (see "uncanny valley").

Enjoy this piece which accurately represents the schizotypal state of mind and perhaps even the so-called "negative symptoms" of schizophrenia itself. 

Schizotypy

This song is called "On the Job" because, to me, it seems to bring forth the feeling of a repetitive and drudgery-inducing task that never seems to end (kind of like a crappy job). Unlike the other songs, it doesn't seem to bring out any strong emotions or altered states of mind, but is more of an energy-boosting type of piece.

I suppose this piece (keeping with the theme of mental states in this set) could be seen as the state of Noradrenergic motivation and focus in the Dorso-Lateral Prefrontal Cortex, keeping you working on something with a goal that is far in the future, but worth the effort!

On The Job

The name of this work "says it all". Overactive or overexpressed Dopamine 2 receptors can lead to mental states rather similar to the ones that I feel are portrayed in this piece. That is, it can lead to a disorienting manic state, a state of frank psychosis, or a combination of the two. 

Although such mental states are ineffable by nature, I think this song does a good job at portraying a state of manic or paranoid psychosis, which is done through the use of frantic tempo coupled with extremely harsh harmonic structures and shifts in volume and dynamics.

Enjoy this piece and hope that you don't ever feel that way in "real life"!

Overactive Dopamine 2 Receptors

Unlike some of the other pieces with psychotomimetric (psychosis imitating) properties that generally stick to that theme without a "release" to normalcy, this piece allows you to "have your cake" (experience the weird state of disorientation and poor coupling) but "eat it too" (also feel release from it). There is undoubtedly a sense of urgent unease in this song, but upon careful and emotionally open listening, there are clear states of euphoria as well. However, it is nontraditional euphoria in an almost nostalgic, carnival-esque nature. 

As to a mental analogue of this song's affective projection, the thing that comes to my mind would be a hallucinogenic drug experience or even a strong Cannabinoid intoxication. Enjoy!

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

This piece of music best represents, to me, that states of mind that are experienced in mixed depression-anxiety states, where one oscilates between tension, bleakness, and occasional glimpses of hope for the future. Yet, overall, the affect is rather dreary and detached, which is mimetic of the state of Dissociation seen in panic disorder and other severe anxiety disorders. 

Yet, there is undoubtedly a redeeming quality towards the end, as the song pushes through the anhedonic fog from the beginning (as seen by the increasing richness of the harmonic palette) and resolves to a state of ambiguous hope. Enjoy!

Slightly Removed From The Situation

Discoveries

Endless Winter

The El Train

Minuet and Trio

21 December 2017 2.mid

I am a composer of both classical music and popular music. The style of classical could be simply called "Modern" although I tend towards a movement called Neo-Classicism to be specific. I am indebted to the composers Maurice Ravel & Bela Bartok. 

My popular music (ie: non-classical music) could be called "Progressive Rock" or "Progressive Electronic Rock" as it utilizes a combination of rock instruments and synthesizers in a forward-looking direction in comparison to other popular music. Unlike most rock, the music I write is based nearly 100% on late 19th and early 20th century classical music which is usually of a "weird" or "abstract" nature but also contains all of the glory of the music of the early Romantic Era in terms of euphoric transitions. I do not draw much inspiration from the blues or jazz (despite also playing bass in a jazz band occasionally) nor do I follow rock music form particularly closely, although verses and choruses can be found in some songs.

The most "exciting" part of my music is, without doubt, the enhanced harmonic language which I use. Most popular music utilizes extremely worn-out harmonic (chord) sequences and progressions. However, this is not a mandatory thing considering the classical era of the late 19th and early 20th century revolutionized harmony in great ways (and not just "atonality" as some people assume). It is much richer and more emotionally poignant. I capture that with my music thanks to many years of self and school training in music theory (although my college degree is in Mathematics - a subject very close to music in actuality). 

Please enjoy my music and leave comments, good or bad. I know I am not perfect and most of the songs I put up are simple first-drafts, so excuse, if you can, my mistakes on the bass and (when I use it) the MIDI keyboard. Most of my music is composed in Finale first and sent to Cubase, however. So it is played exactly as I notated it in Finale on a score. 

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