Moped Guy Full Demo

it's cold
but
this is the best I have felt 
in a long time

step into mist

It's hard to organize all my thoughts from a time that I mostly forgot
Half a decade thrown away large parts of my brain are blocked off
My many false memories remain my greatest enemies even today
All the reasons I loved you were wrapped up in words that I only ever wished you would say

I was never happy
I was never happy with you

and when you saw scabs on my wrists you said "I just can't deal with this"
that's when I realized the whole time you were with me I was alone
and you said you'd be at my funeral like I said I'd be at your graduation
and you'd change from a black dress to a white coat the morbidity of our final conversations

I was never happy
I was never happy with you

A desperate call that I wished I had missed but I was up at 3am
your caught breath and a pause said "I'm not done with you yet"
You would take and you would  take until nothing remained and you still wanted more
But you were weak and you were alone and that's not a luxury I could ever afford

I was never happy
I was never happy with you

when I broke down at your feet
pleaded for you not to leave
there was never a single tear on your cheek
you left your legacy in a text to me "I'm sorry, I'm busy and I'm just not in the same place"
could you tell me, because I'm just curious, what exactly changed?
After five years. after five years. could you do me the dignity of saying it to my face?

"I was never happy
I was never happy with you"

I was never happy
I was never happy with you

i was never happy (with you)

Are you sad? 
a comforting oppression swelling over
enveloping in wistful vapor
low drone
rushing

a study on clouds

you're still here

This song is so generic and boring I nearly fell asleep making it. But I wanted to get something done. 

Vignette style about a person I met exactly once. I'm glad it was that way but I still wish things were different for both of us. Maybe next time. 

I said hey
you said hey
I said what are you looking for you said that you're not sure
I said great

I have learned
to live between lines
left on read red flag shameless double tap
your place or mine

now I'm on your unmade bed
you're silent sitting at your desk
this shouldn't be so hard I'm as broken as you are
trying my best to connect

I said you 
you look so cool 
when you look so sad
and you almost laughed

then you took a drag
of a cheap vape pen
it would have been a cigarette but you can barely pay rent 
and you need that deposit back when you move back 
home

but I was missing someone
and you needed someone
coincidences happen escape or distraction
and you can settle for just one

I should have stayed home
and been sad alone
and not inflict my presence clumsy words stepping
on your clipped wing soul

and you looked so sad 
but damn you looked cool 
you tried not to laugh 
you took another drag

I said hey 
I think I'll go
You exhaled and let me leave vapor between your teeth 
and I let the door close quietly
behind me

she didn't even let me hit her vape pen dude

right now / doing better (demo)

meaning

Zn somnambulist

Tumblepast

Emmalee 18
Mark 17
Celia 22
Hunter 23
Eve

dear God.

be with us pt 1

sound from twisting "drag" knob on Afterneath v2pedal. Excerpt from MiLK CHUNK

d r u g s ?  t h e  m u s i c a l  (interlude)

Downtune half step 
C#5 x46xx0
Caugx06xx0
E   x22x00
A   x022x0
Main - C#5 c#aug e a
Bridge B (x24xxx) -> A

I’m sick of dying in pieces Slowly breaking away 
Stuck behind in silent lines With nothing to say

I’m always talking in circles You’re looking ahead and straight
I’m off on some stupid tangent Making your eyes glaze

But if you love me Please say that you don’t
Because I will never move on If you won’t

I’m sure that you’re angry That I’m always sad
I know you’re tired of hearing me say I tried my best

I’ve got my addictions They keep my soul clean
I’m sure I can fix this If you let me (just let me)

You’re lying telling me you’re fine as your voice breaks, catches in your throat
I’m uncomfortable watching you struggle brushed my hand of your shoulder and said “I’ll do this on my own”
Let it out I’m here to help, you’re not defined by trauma 
Your soul will be like broken bone and only come back stronger

I will tell you all my dreams (come back stronger)
If you tell me what they mean (you’re not defined by trauma)
We can go sledding at the cemetery 
We can go sledding at the cemetery 

You don’t need to do this on your own (Everybody wants to cry Without being seen)

sledding at the cemetery

Moped Guy I Hope You Are Ok

Emmalee 18
Mark 17
Celia 22
Hunter 23
Eve

I'm sorry We did Nothing.
we Will 
love
you More
than Anyone Here
ever Could

be with us part 2

Dumping ground for song ideas. Main focus is on ambient and post-rock - tracks with the house in them...

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