There was nothing tough about F-Loder. We didn’t get into brawls or bar fights or beef with other bands. None of us even had a gym membership. Abrasive and rude, but never confrontational. 

The closest we ever came to ‘tough’ was the time Wainwright lost a bag of cocaine at our motel room in Denver. Jon’s drugs suddenly went missing and  he promptly went insane. The entire band, Ryan Endo, and three terrified Mexican maids stood there watching Wainwright pace the room, yelling and snarling and flapping his arms. It was fucking satanic. An hour past checkout time and he was holding us hostage, refusing to leave until we solved the case of the missing coke.

I thought he’d never calm down. We just stood there suspecting each other of pocketing the blow. Finally, Ryan Farrell reasoned with Jon and successfully persuaded him to let it go. Though the exact conversation has gone down the memory hole, I like to think Farrell consoled him like a child: “It’s ok kiddo, we’ll get ya another bag of coke. A better one. Don’t worry, buddy.” Or maybe he just threatened to quit the band then and there if Jon didn't get his act together. It's unclear. One way or another, Farrell neutralized the situation and got us back on the road.

For some reason Big Dave was extra quiet that day and it struck me as odd. He’s usually pretty vocal and opinionated. Later on during the tour it came to light that Dave had stolen the cocaine and flushed it. He said he did it because he hated drug use and wanted to save Wainwright from himself; he’d seen too many lives ruined by drugs. In other words, he was being a big old Karen, trying to trick Jon into going straight edge.

Wainwright never heard the confession and I certainly kept my mouth shut. The whole thing was just too embarrassing. It was the most unpunk, untough behavior I had witnessed in a long time. Dave, the new guy in the band, taking it on himself to fight the war on drugs, and Wainwright throwing a public conniption fit. I can only imagine what woulda happened if he’d learned the real story back then. 

Other than that, Colorado was awesome! 

Tough Guy is layered with triumphant 90s guitar chords and a flying double-time punk beat. Super catchy post-chorus leads are paired with some surprisingly disturbing lyrics. As vivid as they are belligerent, the verses tell stories of a reformed tough guy. So it's a song about an asshole who changed his ways.

Gentle

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