this is the tenth rap in my "rap diary".  I was clearly craving chinese food today, so i decided to look at a few menus and then rap what i would eat... and yes i would eat it all... to myself.

(lyrics are my own)
lyrics:
can i start with a whole five egg rolls
can i also get a hot and sour in a bowl
can i get a cantonese fried noodle

with shrimp and chicken and bbq pork
can i get some chopsticks, i don't need a fork
let's also add a sweet and sour pork

can i get a mild shrimp pad thai
those thick noodles you call Shanghai
and some extra peanuts on the side

can i get a kung pao chicken and beef
yes this is all for me and i don't need your grief
and i'll eat it all you wait and see

can i get a mixed vegetable stir fry
a plate of chili chicken, make it dry
and that other dish, moo goo guy

can i also get a house fried rice
oh and can you tell me the price?

{beat is not mine) free beat:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JvTDwHqD94

did you get all that? (the chinese food order)

this is the story of a girl who never gave up no matter what bullshit life threw/ and will throw at her...

[lyrics are my own]
[beat produced by homage]

The Story

for that friend that's in your heart that you haven't talked to in a while but that you will probably always pick up when they call...

[lyrics are my own]
[beat by Homage Beats]

lyrics:
[verse 1]
i know we haven't spoke in the recent months
together living life like a couple of drunks
you and i, we were drunk in love
somewhere along the line we just gave up 

now we're living, living in the aftermath
the really bad hangover that this chapter has
emotions flowin fast like an avalanche
all because of your circumstance

i thought, that you had a masterplan
all you ever had was an ampersand
introducing some excuse that i didn't understand
just to keep me a little longer in our romance

the life you're living now, isn't what you want
all that money that you got, give to her to flaunt
not your money that i love incase that you forgot
trust, honesty and respect i applaud

[chorus] (x2)
call me if you are sad
we're all that we once had
 i know it's been some time
but i'm forever your sunshine

[verse 2]
call me if you're sad cause i'm still loving you 
never could get over the stage of honeymoon 
sometimes i know that i have an attitude
but when it comes to loving you im always in a loving mood

i never could hate you our bond was too strong
way we communicate now is through song
watch each others stories cause we're still holding on 
a love like ours will never ever be foregone

never meant to fall in love it wasn't well timed
but the first day we kissed is always on my mind
chased me to the elevator right before it arrived
it's almost like the stars the stars had aligned

[talking]
crazy huh, you only see that stuff in movies only difference is there's always a happy ending to said movies... and we're still not talking

[chorus]

thanks for listening!!

Forever Your Sunshine

my heart is out of order...

lyrics by eviewhy ft. FlowLucci
(beat prod. by feelo)

Out Of Order (ft. FlowLucci)

Hi! Welcome to "OMG MOM" my new podcast with my annoyingmother!  This is the first episode. In this episode we talk about my childhood, zodiac signs, and not talking to my mom when she's in a mood.

Enjoy!!! :)

"Don't Listen Linda Me"  | OMG MOM the podcast

track one - about being confused with your emotions because you feel happy and sad at the same time.

[written by me]
lyrics:
i think i'm sad but that's a lie
cause i'm actually happy all the time
and the only thing i like to wear 
is a smile on my face
cause when i look at myself i see that i've been gaining weight
and a smile is the only that fits me right now
soooo yaaaaa
but clearly i don't care
cause i grab another plate of food
cause i don't caaare
i mean i love food it's so good
who doesn't love food, frick
breakfast, lunch and dinner
i can't wait for the days we print food with a printer
i mean, it's so bitter sweet actually
i wanna print food with a printer but
i also wanna be skinny
ugh which one is it?
haters will say i can't have my cake and eaat it too
but my mom, my mom says if you don't cut the cake
and eat the whole thing with a spoon
technically you only had one piece sooo
i think i'll listen to my mom
after all she is the greatest
i mean what woman doesn't want to kill her kids when they turn to satan
i'm talking about me
i sometimes turn into the devil
especially lately and my mom
my mom she just takes it
anyways, let's go back let's go back to being sad
or happy
I can't decide
i've had this dumb weight on my foot for a year
i wanna cryyyy
does this cast make me look fat?
actually i don't care anymore
no guy is trying to date me...
three guys are!!! 
that's a lie how pretentious
i think i'm just looking for attention
someone to tell me i'm so special and stupendous
while i feel horrendous
but that's ok, i'm ok
cause my mom, my mom says i'm amazing
see i told you she's the greatest
better than any guy i've ever dated
exes please don't hate me
future boyfriend come embrace me
...please
so ya i think i'm sad but again
that's a lie
cause look at this smile on my face
this smile doesn't say I'm sad
it says i'm happy, 
happy happy happy happy happy
but now i'm frowning
because i can't be happy all the time
or nobody will actually know that i'm drowning
it's a weird thing to be happy and sad but be happy 
all at the same time i think that means i'm confused with my emotions

i think i'm sad

track two - when you need a new perspective on life... stop caring what people think while you're alive, when you're dying they won't care how you lived it.

[written by me]
lyrics:
everything matters
but nothing does too
what you hold in your head
is what sticks like glue
and that becomes real from your point of view
everyone says that getting hurt
will be certain
so we welcome the pain 
like we're meant for the burden
and we don't do what we want
because we think it'll worsen
but what if perhaps
we take a different perspective
and we live our life
not being affected
by what people think
because that is subjective
if no one cares when you die
why do you care what they think 
when you're alive?

no one cares when u die

track three - for when you're scrolling through facebook and see everyone getting married or having babies and you think to yourself "wtf is my life"?

[written by me]
lyrics:
you guys i did something so lame last night, so lame, so so so so lame
10/10 do not recommend
i fell down a hole
that one that's really scary
that one you're not ready for
not even barely
that one where you go on facebook 
and see that everyone is married
or engaged or having a baby or two
where'd the time go
no really where'd the time go
all these faces on my timeline
who are they i don't know
i recognize the name but
holy canoli, is that, they got, she is
woaaaaaaah
holy crap it's 4 am and i'm still scrolling through this site
it's so addicting i can't stop
comparing my own life
i haven't seen these high school friends in 7 years
but i'm seeing a picture of them all together
and it's bringing me to tears
i can't help but think of it this way
if i haven't gone to new york and i just stayed
then quite possibly i might be engaged
shit i might have even eloped
i wonder if they still think about me
hey, if uh you're still listening do you still think about me
i see you watching my instagram stories, devoutly
might i add
so what does that mean
when you see me on your screen
are you happy are you sad?
awwww don't be sad
you're life is currently better than mine

ur life is currently better than mine

track four - a story about how i have trust issues because my mom promised me a cat and she never got me one even though i moved out of the house and  gave up a birthday party for it

[written by me]

i never got the cat

track five - for when you feel old, but you're not but you have age expectations on your life and you feel like you're behind but everyone keeps telling you you're still so young

[written by me]
lyrics:
i feel old but i'm not
i don't think so anyway
when i was younger i wanted to be older
big mistake
every year a digit would change
i'd be older okay
but get this i was still unsatisfied
i'd wanna be older, i'd fixate
on everything i couldn't do
i'd complain
i wanna go here, or do this
or have that it was insane
everything you have
that you could only have when you're young
i didn't appreciate
like time and freedom to not worry about things that will really matter everyday
now i'm 24 and i feel old
i know i know some of you are rolling your eyes
yelling at whatever you're listening to this on
(it's an inanimate object and i can't hear you)
but plot twist i can actually hear you and
you're saying i'm so young
but see i hear that every year, 
yet every year i'm still aging
(i have good genes so im aging well)
but at what year do people start telling you
you're not young anymore
you know, maybe it's a good thing i feel this way
i'm contemplating
i feel older so i feel i should be doing what those older people
the age i feel should be doing and making but i'm still young so if i do older things at a younger age...
i'm amazing

i feel old but i'm not

track six - for when people just like the idea of being with you but when meeting you in person they can't handle your drive and ambition because it makes them feel like they don't have their shit together... keep being yourself the right one will come along. their loss.

[written by me]
lyrics:
said you wanna see me again
but never got the text to make it happen
don't worry bout it though
you're like every other dude that hits me up
it's my bad habit
entertaining all these guys that like the idea of a woman with my kinda of passion
but when it comes down to meeting me in real life
they do not take action
i'm way more than they imagined
got goals that are super massive
how could a girl like me ambitious and resilient also be attractive
maybe they couldn't handle my jokes
they're too sarcastic
ladies, apparently to get a man you gotta dumb yourself down
how fucking tragic
don't shine too bright in their eyes or they'll go spastic
well here dummy if you can't take my shine i bought you some glasses
maybe i'm being a bit dramatic
but if that't what dudes want take my heart and put it in a fucking casket
telling me what you think i wanna hear is not a tactic
how you think that's gonna play out in the long run
i'll tell you how
as phony as it begun
honesty is what i value over anything in anyone
dont care where you live, what you drive or what's your income
what's in your heart, can you keep your word and then some
keep watching my stories and sucking your thumb
keep keeping tabs on me and see what i become
but don't hit me up cause clearly you dumb
had a girl like me
lost her
ya fucked up.

a girl like me

track seven (the final track) - a letter to someone you saw your future with but things fell apart but you're now finally at peace with it and you can look back with fond memories as you close that chapter. you don't blame them for only the bad but the good things you learned too. that's love.

[written by me]
lyrics:
i'm forgetting your voice
i'm forgetting your touch
i'm forgetting the way you looked at me when you told me you loved me so much

i'm forgetting your voice
i'm forgetting your smile
i'm forgetting your face when you said we'd be in this a while

forever you promised
i won't stop till you're mine
but i'm forgetting that now and it took me some time

it wasn't by choice 
i let you linger too long
and i would measure my pain by listening to our song

over and over
i'd test myself daily
how far could i listen before i drove myself crazy

i'll admit at first
i didn't last long
but i continued to listen until i became strong

unntil the memory of you faded away
until my brain suddenly decided to stop hitting replay

i want you to know i'm not mad at you now
nor spiteful
or in love
or raising a brow

some people would say i dodged a bullet
but i disagree
you had your hand on the trigger and you definitley pulled it
shot straight through my heart
and i blame you for that
but i also blame you for the good times and bad

i blame you for the heartache
i constantly incurred
and i blame you for the love i now know i deserve

i blame you for not living up to what you promised
but i also blame you for showing me what i value most is being honest

i blame you for a lot more both the good and the bad
but what i blame you for most is showing me i need someone that makes me better not constantly sad

we haven't seen each other face to face in a while
but i hope when you think of me you can't help but to smile

i guess you were my lesson, not meant to be my forever
i was hoping for us, but this is my final goodbye thank you letter

eviewhy

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