I actually wasn’t going to complete it because I was so frustrated by it last time I tried to work on it. It’s also vulnerable b/c I try some new things out in it including adding a bass line and also some weird yelps which I’ve been trying to learn and lean into.

This song is an expression of simultaneous hesitation, joy, release, and tentativeness around intimacy & creativity. You could think of it as a conversation with another person, or with yourself or with the muse :).

lyrics
Fall Into You

Uncover me
Peel off the layers in between
Your lips so sweet
Feels like the rain tracing my teeth

Will I fall into you?
Should I fall into you?

Uncover me
Breath in the skin beneath my sheets
And your fingers sweet
Atomic gestures leave me weak

Will you fall into me?
Can I Fall into you?

I’m not asking you to catch me
From an 18 story fall
I’m just looking for some friction
And a little taste of everything you are
credits

Winter EP

Fall Into You

Finding myself flickering {F/G}
Florescent lights snickering {F/G}
I've been here before
A long time ago, Am I - {F/G}
Back where I started or did I- {Am/F}
In time grow through- {C/G}
I thought my worries departed 
when I turned 32 {G/Am/F/C/G}

Your lips on my teeth {F/G}
my tongue on your cheek, are we  {F/G}
playing each other or are we {Am/F}
playing for keeps {C/G}
does it lend itself to cover or to {G/Am/F}
convert my grief,[C/G]
convert my grief [G / Am]

[Am/F/G/Am/F/G]

Cause we're travelers surfin  {F/G}
through time and through space
And you say we're familiar, {F/G}
but I sense a flaw in the trace 
We're travelers surfin and I'm not sure where it ends, {F/G}
But I've got plenty of fiction and we can both just pretend that it's {F/G}
all very simple, we're just very old friends— {Am/F/C/G}
You say we’re — close as before, because history it bends, {G/Am/F/C/G}
history it bends {G/Am}


But I'm not a time traveler and neither are you-{F/G}

we're familiar faces with hearts we've both grown into {F/G}
So let's settle this now before it crashes below {Am/F/C/G}
We can wander in slowly so we can both come to now get to know. {G/Am/F/C/G}

Exa: Writer, Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, Logic drumz, Co-producer
Robbie Santos: Lead Guitar Bass, Co-Producer

Time Traveller

Whats it like living underground?
Away from the lights
Away from the city sounds 

Can you hear the birds 
Singing through the town?
Or is it quiet as the dark sea all year round?

Won’t you Come on home
Come on home to me
Won’t you come on home
Come on home 
You’ll see

The day is crawling with its own delights
From the fuzzy trees to the ferns bent toward the light 

The people gathering to celebrate this life
It’s been threatening to rain but we’re holding out hope tonight

Come On Home - 04.23

This song is a playful engagement with anxiety, fear, and the stories we tell ourselves.
lyrics
**Pop Up Video**

Oops it seems I’ve done it again
Lost my grip left my heart on a whim
My vision is blurry + my thoughts are grim
Boundaries are porous wobbly and thin

Cause I’ve been blurring into the background
while my worries start to grow
Crawling in through my navel
Then up and up they go

It’s like a pop up video in my mind
a pop up video and its filled with lies

Stupid + worthless + shameful
I could go on
They’re the primary colors
my heart has learned to feed on
Cause if I hear it first
it might soften the blow
So I’ll play it on repeat
till it grows and it grows

But I’ve been calling this into question
Is it really just a hoax?
Another way to dehydrate
My lush and hearty goals
---
Im here in the mirror,
I’m looking and listening
How did I even get here again?
Comparing and tearing myself into little bits
No longer hearing my inner friend…

My heart is in pain
My hurt is the page my shame is the stage
Cause I feel afraid
Defeated dismayed
My Light has gone gray
But I’m finding my way

Im learning to stay
And move thru the moments
My hologram’s showing
Where I’m feeling hopeless
There’s movement, there’s motion
The new day approaches
And tell’s me keeping going
I’m growing and growing and growing

It’s like a pop up video in my mind
a pop up video and its filled with lies
It’s like a pop up video
But I’ll be fine
I’m filled with light
I’ll be fine

credits
from Summer Demos: 3 songs for 33, originally released June 30, 2021
Alexa Kutler: Writer, Vocals, Synth, Co-producer
Robbie Santos: Bass, Drums, Synth, Audio Engineering, Mixing Engineer, Co-Writer [Instrumentation], Co-Producer, MAGIC MAKER
Dwight Dunston: Rap & Magic

Summer Demos: 3 songs for 33

Pop Up Video

Once alone my heart was hard to find
My spirit spun when bodies bent the line
Am I better or worse than her?
Have I lost my sheek lacquer?
A commodity in line,
Can only fall behind
So i’m no one’s to claim,
I am mine

So if you’re common into my bed [uhuhuh]
Making me your problem[uhuhuh]
Call this what you want but i refuse to play this dated game

Once alone but now i’m not i find
Drifted along in search of a like mind
Wasn’t safe to go down deep
Now my heart feels right to leap
So I’m not here to be returned
Like the packages you’ve churned
And I am not to blame for your shame

So if you’re common into my bed [uhuhuh]
Making me your problem[uhuhuh]
Call me what you want but i refuse to let you change my name

So don’t tell me I’ll be fine
Once you’ve drawn your clear red line
Don’t need to hear your truth 
Of how all my flaws came thru
I’ve got bookends to hold me too

Credits: 

Gary Grundei — Piano!!

Change My Name

For Lullaby, we took a phone recording from 2013 of top layer vocals and guitar, and added harmonies, lead guitar, drums and bass! It was a fun constraint to work with.
lyrics
**Lullaby**

I’ve been told that sometimes
we must take unexpected turns
Just to find some light to shine on
the parts that are unheard
To carry around the weight of
the parts you used to be
Makes heavier all the choices
that open you to see

It might not be tomorrow
you find who you are
But taking steps is better
than staring at the stars

cause my life feels like small a jar
that I am trying to unscrew
Pushing so hard with all my heart
but nothing seems to do
No towel, tool, or instrument
will lubricate the lid
Only letting go of all of this
will satisfy the grip

It might not be tomorrow
you find who you are
But taking steps can help you see
you’ve already come so far

credits
from Summer Demos: 3 songs for 33, released originally June 30, 2021
Exa Kutler: Writer, Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, Co-producer
Robbie Santos: Drums, Lead Guitar, Audio Engineering, Mixing Engineer, Bass, Co-Writer [Instrumentation], Co-Producer, oh, and that epic guitar solo at the end!!

Lullaby

Return

The moon calls tonight
She says I’ll be fine
Im right ____ by your side
Lean into my light.  

Can I — ask you a question 
Come Now - carefully lean in
For what— have you been waiting  all your life? 

The moon calls tonight
As she hears me capsize 
Im right by your side
Come see what you’ll find 

Come Step — into my shadow
There’s no — reason to fear 
Darkness  — carries the secret 
To your light 

Ooh,
Ooh,    ooh
Oooh 

But It’s the strangest kind of amnesia 
And It swallows me into its tide
When the shadow I see is much bigger than me
All I feel is the impulse to hide

The moon calls tonight
Looks me straight in the eye
From her I cannot hide  Forest go Low
She sees what’s inside

Can I — tell you a secret?
Come Now — carefully lean in
You are the masterful maker Of your life


oohhh
Oohhh
It’s youuuu


And I’m finding out now That I can’t understand 
All the furies that race through my mind 
So when the shadow I see is much bigger than me I’ll step into the darkness and shine

Credits:

Gary Grundei: Keys & Sound
Forest Kamerin: Vocals

Moon Song

I know how to be a beauty queen
Done up just right like in a magazine
I can toss my hair like I’m on TV
Make you feel like I really believe

That I desire to be a beauty queen
Show up to the party all shiny and clean
Shave my legs and do my face just right
Hold my stomach real tight all through the night 

But I don’t want to be
Walking this trapeze or
Begging on my knees
It makes me wanna scream

I know how to be a beauty queen
They cut me up when I was 15
Told me magic would happen under the knife 
That I’d wake up to a whole new life

But all I found was shame
Couldn’t recognize my face
I was Swollen, blue, inflamed
Wanted to hide away

So I don’t want to be your beauty queen
I’m through playing to your realities
Take your tiny boxes and your culture knives 
I’m awake and its my my goddamn life

There’s something here to see
And I’ll sacrifice your grief 
It’s spectacular and free
Beyond the binary

Credits:
Daniel Emond: Bass & Drums Recording
Cathryn Wake: Drums

Beauty Queen

Other Side Sketch [In Progress!]

wrote this song for a family member going through a hard time. It was my way of offering a reminder of all the light that lives inside of them.
lyrics

**Tending Your Fire**

All your life you’ve
given through and through
You put us first
you gave up part of you

and Everyday I see you shining through
There’s nothing that can
take this light from you

Just keep tending your fire
higher and higher
Just keep tending your fire
Worlds will conspire For you

The Asphalt breaks
tectonic quakes through you
Sense of self charred
you don’t know what to do

[chorus]

Take a bath / wash your hair
2 minute dance / let em’ stare!
Feel your breath / in and out
Sing a song / or give a shout
Watch a movie / take a nap /
call your person / get a snack
Love your body / trust your truth
Strike a match / watch it catch

Let the ashes blow
wipe the dust and clear the view
It’s always been there
that light inside of you

credits
from Summer Demos: 3 songs for 33, released June 30, 2021
Alexa Kutler: Writer, Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, Lead Guitar, Co-producer
Robbie Santos: Drums, Audio Engineering, Mixing Engineer, Bass, Co-Producer

EXA

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