Tim is pretty my boy at this point
Jefferson & Mike y'all are also my boys
& I wanna clink our drinks and when
I think we should then
Pull our sweaty dicks out and then compare them
& hold up! 
It's time for a little section of the show that we call 
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-booze news
It's time for a little section of the show that we call 
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-booze news

Booze News Vol. 1

Plugs

Plugs 2: Gettin' Plugsier

Plugs 5: Zugzwang Jive

Little Scotty, now it's time
Now's the fuckin' time that I will make you mine
If you croon out like old-fashioned songs
You can get away with saying things that are usually wrong
If you take a little dab with Mr. Coleperson
I can reassure your state will certainly worsen
This intro has been my diversion
...
SURPRISE IT'S FUCKIN' FACE LIKE THUNDER
KICKING OUT YOUR FUCKIN' PLUG JAMS BABY
DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S MY FAVOURITE PART??
YOU KNOW WE GOT TO PLUG IT IN!
YOU GOTTA FUCKIN PLUG IT IN!

PLUGS!!


Plugs 6: Croon Smash

Scotty, why don't you love me? 
You used to plug me in the back door
And Scotty when you did plug me
You called me ugly and pushed me to the floor
Scotty - now when you're texting pics of your erection
In a Goofy costume
I'll take off the Daisy Duck outfit and use my real voice
To sing another Plugs tune.

Ian Plugless Hardie

Before we dive into the rest of the show
The topic from the sexy guest - THAT PART IS THE BEST!
We're gonna dig into the things in which the hosts are obsessed
I'm a big fan this isn't for a mention
Sniff a butt if you thought that was my intention
Minor Obsessions!

Minor Obsessions

Scotty you've been fillin' up my inbox
Listin' all the things that you want me to do
I could fly down to Los Angeles
I'll pack a bag and bring the lube
and Daisy Dukes & wear those rubber boobs
You told me to include
I'll sit my tiny little butt on your lap and sing plugs.

Buxom Plugs

In Toon With Jeff And Nico

In Toon With Jeff And Nico (Instrumental)

I can't make any promises that I can go
This whole theme without shouting at some point
HA
In response to your message, Scott
It took a lot of hard scrubbing to clean that spot
On your throw rug from when you pulled out that
Plug

Plugs And The Mess You Left

Oh why don't you just fucking stop and appreciate beauty that's not enhanced and cropped?
We've all set these unfair expectations - show me you've got.
Oh how does it feel to know that your children will grow up much smarter than you in half of the time.
Age doesn't lie and I don't know how long we've got.

HA!

And you'll say you're a victim - we know that you're not,
Some people don't seem to know what they've got.

HA!

Oh why don't I just follow through? Why doesn't this happen to you?
I'm stuck in my own way & I'm unhealthily spiralling deeper each and every day. 
And why do I believe that things seem much harder for assholes like me?
Why do I need to be constantly propped up, why can't I just be?
Should I just leave with damages done?
The sun sets for no one
But the wind and the breeze
And the mountains and trees
And the glimmering seas
And you'll fall to your knees in moments like these.

And I'll say I'm a victim you know that I'm not,
Sometimes I don't fucking know what I've got.

HA!

Appreciate

I can't believe you'd scrape the bottom of the barrel and be
Someone who has been nothing but awful to me
A smarter person knows that history repeats itself but
Who the fuck am I? I can't believe it, can't believe that
You weren't interested in hearing anything that I'd say
I can feel you counting down the moments 'til we part ways
Oh what have I done wrong? I'm not surprised, HEY

I can't believe you'd last as long as you did under pressure
I know that I've been constant and overwhelming
A smarter person knows that history repeats itself but
Everyone tries to force it sometimes
You didn't think that I would notice anything was missing
Now I guide my caravel through darkness without shifting 
Oh how obvious when tides turn, I'm not surprised

So I'll spit out at the brine - I know she'll get me back in time
I'd spoil the ending just to read the final line
You don't need a disguise to hear a siren without lies
I'd drink the poison from your eyes

Persistence and believe are powerful in combination
Why do I feel so anxious from separation?
A smarter person makes decisions without hesitation
Everyone tries to fake it sometimes
You weren't interested in hearing anything that I'd say
I can see you years from now recycling your old ways
Oh how envious can I be?

When Tides Turn

Before the program's over
We've got another thing left for you
To put in your mouth
& is it snack or whack?

Snack Or Whack

"I think there's a sufficient amount of blubber there & I love the chunkiness of it - I think there's a rich flavour" - Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age/Eagles of Death Metal





"This is outstanding" Lennon Parham of Playing House, Womp it Up, Veep





"That's some T.S. Elliot Wasteland-shit right there!" Marissa Wompler of Playing House, Womp it Up





"Is this Tom Waits?" - Jon Daly from Kroll Show





"...loved that" - Brian Huskey from Veep, Mr Neighbour's House





"...upsetting!" - Rich Sommer from Mad Men





"Who is that? Wow." - Brett Gelman from Another Period, Stranger Things





"Holy Cow...I liked that." - Jason Mantzoukas from The League, Big Mouth





"Mmm! Nice! That was actually recorded really well." - Scott Aukerman from Comedy Bang! Bang!





"That was something else." - Paul F. Tompkins from No, You Shut Up, There Will Be Blood, Bajillion Dollar Propertie$, Bojack Horseman





"sounds like a spooky old house" - Matt Dunlop from Brooklyn Warehouse

Home recordings on a Zoom r8

Guitars/Keys/Vocals/Whatever else by Ian Hardie
Drums by Drew Martin

facelikethunder.bandcamp.com/releases
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Face Like Thunder

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