The song I wrote after coming out as non-binary/gender neutral to my family

I Know

morning cigarette

as the sun hits my eyes with the strength of a thousand arms, i grow weak and frail.  i lower my head in complete humility.  i light the stick and control my breathing, each breath a full thought.  every inhale brings me closer to my death and each exhale closer to the eternal.  i look to the trees for support, but they are as bare as i.  stripped of their cover, they are naked as my soul to the sun.  i can not hide me from he who sees all.  and yet i continue to do the same not only for my selfish, greed soul who's as black as the secret places of my hear, but for the knowledge that no one will question me.  for i can lie to myself, treat myself wrong for only i can hurt myself

Morning Cigarette

After the rain starts
After the world's asleep
There's nothing to fear
The end is near

After the rain falls
The streets are washed, the ground is clean
And no one's around to see
There's nothing to see at all

After the rain dries
After the world's awake
There's nothing to fear
There's nothing here anymore

After the Rain

Driving around
this city
Look at the lights
they're pretty high up

They're not going anywhere
Not while I'm around

Listen, the streets
are busy
Notice the kids
are crazy in love

And they're not gonna disappear
Not while I'm around

Driving around
this city
Look at the lights
They're pretty

This City

Happy New Year to the girl who cries her eyes out on her bed
Happy New Year to the boy who feels alone inside the crowd
Cause they both hope that life will be a little different
Though it will probably just be another day inside their life

Happy New Year to the man who found out he's now unemployed
And Happy New Year to the junkies cause they found another score
And Happy New year to the mass that has filled up Times Square
as they watch the falling orb drop down at 12

Happy New year to the girl who just blacked out right down the street
And Happy New Year to the mother of a new born baby girl
And Happy New year to the minister for preaching to the crowd
and as he asks for money just for selling hope

Happy New Year to the man who crashed his car into a ditch
And Happy New Year to the nurse who tells a patient he will die
And Happy New Year to us all.  It's a time to start anew
even though the resolutions are not true.

Happy New Year (revisited)

In my sunken garden
There are dead trees
lying down for you

In my sunken garden
flowers grow like skyscrapers
above

In my sunken garden
sun comes out
and shows his smiling face

In my sunken garden
we look up
and wave the sky goodbye

Sunken Garden (demo)

Well you shouldn't doctor yourself
Well I pictured somebody else
Someone that looks like
What I look like

Would you say that the one of your dreams
Got in you and ripped out the seams
That's what I'd say
That's what I'd say

He was a sucker for your double dose
Motherfucker turned white as a ghost
Don't you say hi
Don't you say hi

With a broken sink for a face
And a head that just takes up space
It's not half right
It's not half right

It's already half past
And it won't last

I was sticking up for my friend
When there's nothing much to defend
It's a lost fight
It's a lost fight

Cause when I talk to you on the phone
Well it's just like being alone
It's not half right
It's not half right
   - Elliott Smith

Half Right (Cover)

Watching fireworks
Over skyscrapers
Light another one for me
Overhead, endless sea

Sitting by the church
Smoky air fills the earth
Feeling ten feet tall
But I am all alone

Grey skies follow me
Follow everything
Another drag, another breath
Now there's nothing left
For me

Watching fireworks
Waiting for the final burst
Of colors in the sky
Burst of color in my mind
In my eyes

FIreworks

On the streets of this town
That I call home
There is nothing here
And nobody around
And that's just fine
That's just fine with me
Cloudy air I choose to breathe

On the streets
Where we currently reside
All our friends can come and say hello, goodbye
And that's just fine
That's just fine with me
Clouds hang over me

On the streets
Where we wish our home would be
We could pass the years
And watch the falling leaves
And that's just fine
That's just fine with me
We're just waiting

fading not receding