A Fairy Gothmother story about how to get back at your bullies. Choose from an awesome assortment of terrifying animal groups.  While you're at it, you'll learn about the fun collective nouns for scary critters.

The Fairy Gothmother is well aware
that you’ve been bullied and teased.
And she’s given you plenty of options 
for bringing those fiends to their knees. 

There’s no escaping her murder of crows
as their airship floats through the sky.
Clouds of bats will blot out the sun
as a wake of buzzards drops by. 

Their autos, bikes and carriages
might swarm with a nest of snakes.
A quiver of cobras and rhumba of rattlers
know how to dismantle the brakes.

Out on their ferry they’ll never be safe
from her armies of frogs and toads.
A cluster of spiders and mischief of mice
will shadow nearby on the roads.

Perhaps a shiver of sharks is the thing
with a fever of stingrays buffet?
But if it’s a plague of locusts you’d like
she’ll send them straight away.

A kettle of vultures might circle their camp
as an unkindness of ravens is ranting.
A stare of owls will help keep watch
as the FG begins her enchanting.

Of course, you could do an outrageous thing:
forgive and move on with your life.
Since vengeance always seems to cause
more pain and long-lasting strife.

(I’d go with the sharks.)



A BEVY OF BEASTS, Picture Book Poem

A robot discovers his destiny in this twisted Fairy Gothmother tale. 

*A story based on my sister's ridiculous drawing.

WILLBURT: KING OF THE JELLYFISH, A Ridiculous Picture Book

A naughty boy and a clever squirrel cross paths.

KINDLING KINDNESS, Short Story

A boy and a caterpillar join forces. (Art by Delia Gable)

THE LATE BLOOMERS, Short Story

A little girl refuses to go to sleep. There are consequences. Art by Bitskoff for Storybird.

LITTLE LUCY POPPLETRED, Picture Book Poem

Your parents were right. Nothing is under you bed.

THE TRUTH ABOUT NOTHING, Picture Book Poem

A group of bad-behaving beasties crash the wrong house on Halloween Eve. (Story to be accompanied with a Countdown Calendar beginning Oct 19th. Yes, that makes it 13 days to Halloween!!)

When the tower tolled midnight
Halloween was on its way,
but as the hours passed
dark refused to bend to day.

A bitter wind swept through the town 
and creepy-crawlies listened.
It whistled through a girl’s black yard, 
where fangs and eyeballs glistened.


The creatures of the night crept in 
to have some dress up fun.
Could it be their revelry 
held back the morning sun?

2 bodybuilding ghosts 
are wrestling on some mats. 
3 hooting owls play ball 
with 4 dizzy, Dracobats. [Note: owls using bats as baseball bats.]

5 raccoons are in the fridge 
munching moldy cheese.
6 possums pose like statues 
for a game of Freeze. 

7 ogres brush their hair 
to get a glossy sheen
then put on wigs and lipstick 
to act out movie scenes.

8 devil dogs are dancing; 
tutus twirl across the floor.
9 zombie kittens shout, 
“Who’s got the highest score?!”  [Note: playing games.]


10 werewolves bob for apples, 
while birds creep up behind.
It’s 11 ravens ranting, 
“Never mind! Never mind!”

12 sinister big spiders 
sneak across the foyer wall.
“Boo!” they shout at 13 flies,
which now begin to bawl.

What, dear frightened reader? 
I forgot the “one,” you say? 
Well, she’s upstairs in her pajamas 
safely watching the soirée.

What? She’s coming down the steps!
Will she shoo them all away?
Yes! She wants the dawn to break. 
It’s Halloween, TODAY!

“You bad-behaving beasties-
get your things, you’ve got to go!
Your party has to stop,
night ended long ago.


Your manners are atrocious.
I think your pranks are mean.
Your magic charm is over.
I’m  ‘ONE,’ which makes THIRTEEN!”

Now the critters are upset. 
Each one is in a mood.
At least the bully spiders say, 
“Thanks for the party, Dude.”

They leave and talk of good times, 
which they will not forget.
And that they’ll meet again next year, 
the date and time are set. 

So, home to bed the critters go.
They slither, crawl and fly.
While, at the door, the girl stands guard
bidding each goodbye.

Tonight she’ll wear her costume.
She’ll, “Trick or Treat,” and “Boo!”
Some say that little girl was brave. 
I’m not so sure that’s true. 
[She’s a monster dressed as a child.]


THE HALLOWEEN QUEEN, A 13 DAY COUNTDOWN, Picture Book Poem

Woof, a lonely ghost dog, digs up bones and buries them in the graveyard of a haunted mansion. Lightning strikes and Bone Boy is born! They compete in a Halloween costume contest where they discover friendship is the best prize of all.

*A publisher asked me to come up with a picture book story based on this illustration. While they didn't end up selecting my tale, I did discover Woof and Bone Boy in the process and have this fun little story about them!

WOOF AND BONE BOY

Kids are in costume and haunting the streets.
The bandstand is rocking with spooky, odd beats.

The Howl-A-Ween Contest is about to begin
Woof needs a pal if he’s going to win. 

He’s searching the attics, gardens and lakes.
He’s willing to do whatever it takes.

Woof better run. A storm’s on its way. 
The mansion’s dead trees are starting to sway. 

FLASH! ZAP! KAPOW! Woof barely survives.
But look under the tree, Bone Boy is — ALIVE!

They enter the contest with moments to spare.
In their rush they forgot, they’ve got nothing to wear!

Ghostly greyhounds race monster maltese.
Butterfly mutts sniff lab bumblebees.

Vampire bloodhounds and zombie chow chows
drool as the fairy retrievers take bows.

Woof and Bone Boy don’t have a disguise.
But, no one can tell— and they win First Prize!

Winning was nice, but the true prize in the end,
is sharing your life with a bony Best Friend.


WOOF AND BONE BOY, Picture Book Poem

Twisted, cautionary tales by the Fairy Gothmother