Sully's Olde Skool Funk

In the corridors of power where the carpets never fade
Where memos breed like rabbits and the truth is up for trade
A minister dreams of progress, with reform upon his lips
While the civil service readies for alternative scripts!

He dreams of bold announcements, of banners and reform
But Humphrey’s gentle memos soon transform the thunderstorm
For every grand intention meets paperwork’s embrace
A revolution smothered by procedure’s silken lace

Yes, Minister! No, Minister! Perhaps, but not today!
We’ll form a small committee to ensure it goes away
The files are in the cupboard, the questions are deferred
In the land of vague intention, no decision is preferred!

Sir Humphrey bowse and flatters with a smile of measured grace
He’ll quote the Constitution while he shuffles every case
Poor Hacker fights for justice—though he rarely gets a clue
For every path to progress wins back to the Bar at Two

He dreams of bold announcements, of banners and reform
But Humphrey’s gentle memos soon transform the thunderstorm
For every grand intention meets paperwork’s embrace
A revolution smothered by procedure’s silken lace

Yes, Minister! Fine, Minister! A masterclass in spin!
The government’s in motion—though it’s not gone out or in
We’ll draft a clear white paper, so ambiguous it hurts
Then table it forever ‘neath a pile of expert dirt!

Bernard stands bewildered, torn by moral strain
Translating “Yes” to “No” again, again, again, again!
And in the smoky Commons, the nation softly snores
While Humphrey whispers sweetly: “That’s what government’s for.”

He dreams of bold announcements, of banners and reform
But Humphrey’s gentle memos soon transform the thunderstorm
For every grand intention meets paperwork’s embrace
A revolution smothered by procedure’s silken lace

Yes, Minister! No, Minister! Perhaps, but not today!
We’ll form a small committee to ensure it goes away
The files are in the cupboard, the questions are deferred
In the land of vague intention, no decision is preferred!

Yes, Minister! Dear Minister! You’ve played the noble part
You governed with conviction, though not a change of heart
When logic meets procedure, the truth becomes a blur
And history sighs politely: “Yes… Minister.”

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