I bloody hate the politically correct, jargonistic, self-indulgent rubbish spewed out by bureaucrats and those with job titles longer than their arm. This song is a shout out to all of Catering Assistants [Kitchenhands], Corporate Solutions Executives and Customer Response Technicians. May all your emails be pared down to a fifth of the length, and your euphemisms be replaced be accurate descriptions.

Bureau-speak

Inspired by two absolute wankers who felt the need to sit and have coffee shirtless in a cafe in Subiaco. Unmitigated, roid-raging douchebags. Really happy with how this song turned out by the way. The photo is some douche in Subway in Claremont I took ages ago. What you don't see from this photo is the skin-tight blue velvet pants and women's-style sandals.

The Douchebag Song

Inspired by the Cheers theme, and the Flaming Moe's theme etc...

Here it is! The Clubba song! I thought it would take a few weeks, but after only a couple of days, it's done!!!

I'd like to to take this opportunity to say how much I hate Clubba... and yet I still go there.


Club Bay Spew

Band meets hipster, hipster meets band; Band meets public consciousness; hipster is bitter and becomes existential, contemplates becoming mainstream himself. Bravo.

It's No Fun (My Favourite Band is Mainstream)

The prequel to the Favourite Intermissions' smash hit "Club Bay Spew". No matter how many times they sweep the floor, how many times they update the decor, update their menu; no matter how many trendy events or promotions they have, the Claremont is still just a gateway to Clubba. 

Still waiting to see if there will be a writ lodged by Player regarding their song "Baby Come Back"...

Here is a hilarious review of the joint (admittedly before its "makeover"): http://www.perthnow.com.au/lifestyle/the-claremont-hotel/story-e6frg3pu-1225817390369

The Claremont's Just a Gateway

After they beat the Eagles, I couldn't get this song out of my head... so it was a cathartic measure to arrange a jazz version of the Port Adelaide Football Club's theme song.

Port Swings (Port Adelaide Theme)

I mostly write songs about things that give me the shits. It's better and cheaper therapy than seeing a psychiatrist. 

Music is all about emotion; most write about love. I prefer to maintain my rage, so sayeth the Gough.