the captain

another day,
another hurt.
broken off the rip, 
damaged from the start.
every morning is the same fucking critical
flatline my heart

i’m lost in the echoes, i’m drowning in the pain,
i try to move forward, but i’m so stuck in the rain.
these shadows keep whispering, the keep calling my name,
but nobody’s listening, and i’m the one to blame.

i’m struggling i’m struggling to make it through every fucking day.
i wanna stay home, i want to lay in bed
think about what’s never said, think about when i’ll be dead
i’m struggling i’m struggling to make it through every fucking day.

i’m lost in the echoes, i’m drowning in the pain,
i try to move forward, but i’m so stuck in the rain.
these shadows keep whispering, the keep calling my name,
but nobody’s listening, and i’m the one to blame.

do you fucking love me?
will you bring pleasure to my face?
i’m a fucking loser.
if im not sad, i’m a lewd disgrace.

i’m hoping for instant death
im fucking hurting, i cant catch my breath
i’m too scared to live, i’m too scared to die
i crave release, let me say goodbye

darling do you love me?!
if you do, let me know
darling do you feel me?!
if you do, let me know
because if you love me and show me the slutty side of you, with loyalty, and honesty
then for you i’ll stow this hell
into your arms
i fell.

i’m lost in the echoes, i’m drowning in the pain,
i try to move forward, but i’m so stuck in the rain.
these shadows keep whispering, the keep calling my name,
but nobody’s listening, and i’m the one to blame.

i’m the one to blame.
i’m sorry darling.

i’m sorry darling.

i’m sorry darling.

I’m to blame

One, two, three, four
Ice in the sky
Early in the morning, 
Feel the blue-orange glow.
It’s somewhat chilly, but the car is just right.
Open field, mountains, and a single neon station.
I’m about to pass out, I gooned till like two A.M. then I woke up at four A.M.
Barely functioning, with or without the sleep.
w-w-warmer night, colder morning
Life is gonna hit, without warning
Barely alive and I’m feeling like, alright
won’t you come with me
I am here just for you 
I am here just for you
Oh baby, oh baby
Am I so special, though
Just a bro, kinda feminine 
Fuck it, won’t you come over then?
Getting, so close to me.
Tell me, is it getting hard to breathe?
Aren’t I so soft? Do I feel good to you?
Oh baby oh oh baby
Oh baby oh oh baby
w-w-warmer night, colder morning
Life is gonna hit, without warning
Barely alive and I’m feeling like, alright
won’t you come with me
I am here just for you 
I am here just for you
No one ever really wanted me around
But if you are really different,
I am here just for you
Like I said,
I am here just for you
But if you really want me, know I’m far from stable
I’m far from alright
Gloom-er doom-er tendencies almost every single night 
But I promise I will try, if you are there when I cry, then for you baby I’ll resist the urge to die.
I’ll resist the urge to die.
I’ll resist the urge to die.
I’ll resist the urge to die.

I am here just for you

[Intro]
That's right, according to a local source, the backrooms might be real. Tune in this morning at nine where we talk about the solar eclipse and how you can be a part of history.
(I was so close to giving up, but then... you came.)

[Verse 1]
Are you here for the solar eclipse,
the black sun, the urban legend, 
or maybe it's me.
Either way, 
I know you wanna go there,
I know you wanna see,
The backrooms baby, will you go there with me?

[Chorus]
Let's go away, far away.
Rings of flame, guide our way.
Yellow halls, just beyond the breach.
Give me your hand, come on, just reach.
No one can dare to judge our pain.
You always know I'm not exactly sane.
Black shadows and retro static, 
I am a darkness fanatic.

[Verse 2]
You, can feel me.
You, can know me.
But I can't go on this way.
Drowning in my sleep, everyday.
You, can hurt me.
You, can heal me.
I'll never leave you here alone, because it's in you I find my home.

[Bridge]
The shadow morning ignites my heart
The rain of mourning, darkness art.
I'm a good boy who sharpens his knives,
Cutting through the silence, where darkness thrives.
Steel meets steel, in the blackened glow,
In the backrooms, where the shadows flow.

[Chorus]
Let's go away, far away.
Rings of flame, guide our way.
Yellow halls, just beyond the breach.
Give me your hand, come on, just reach.
No one can dare to judge our pain.
You always know I'm not exactly sane.
Black shadows and retro static, 
I am a darkness fanatic.

[Outro]
(I will never give up on you. You hear me? I'll love you forever. Fuck what they think about us! Fuck what their perfect light is! I'll live here in the dark, with you. Only you can stop this bleeding.)

Darkness Fanatic

Here

Here I am, (here I am)
Feeling like this, (feeling like this)
And I can’t seem to calm my mind. 
When they take it all away, (when they take it all away)
And they shove me to the side, (and they shove me to the side)
Just know I will forever need you.

Struggle not to feel alone,
Even when the sky is brighter
I never settle to a home,
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

Suffering, (suffering)
Yet again, (yet again)
Break me down or break me in ,
Either way I take it, I know I’ll bleed again.
Broken, (broken)
Worthless, (worthless)
You know I’m not alright, will I make it through tonight?

Hey hey listen, listen listen listen
Is it obvious I’m missin’,
All my life it’s been my mission,
Finding you, but I guess you knew 

Struggle not to feel alone,
Even when the sky is brighter
I never settle to a home,
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

Whispers in the dark, (in the dark) 
Tell me lies just to survive. 
Every scar’s a work of art, 
But I’m tired of painting pain just to feel alive.
Call my name, (call my name) 
But say it slow, (say it slow) 
Like you mean it, like you’ll never let me go. 
I'm drowning in the silence, 
screaming deep inside— 
Tell me, are you listening, 
or have you said goodbye?

Struggle not to feel alone, 
Even when the sky is brighter 
I never settle to a home, 
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

Falling faster, (falling fast) 
Living in the shadow of my past. 
But maybe if I crash and burn, 
I'll rise again—your name’s the lesson I still learn.

Hey hey listen, listen listen listen 
I was never just a victim, 
I was born from all that’s missin’, 
Searching for a light that always led to you.

Struggle not to feel alone,
Even when the sky is brighter
I never settle to a home,
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

I never settle to a home

(Verse 1)
I wake up to static in my veins
Another day beneath the weight
Where every breath just sounds the same
And every step resents its fate

The skyline’s made of rust and smoke
I swear this life’s some kind of joke
They build you up to watch you crawl
Then blame you when you lose it all

(Pre-Chorus)
If I vanish in the noise, will they care?
Or just shrug like I was never there?

(Chorus)
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead
A scream carved deep in what’s unsaid
No meaning left, no goals, no thread
Just ticking clocks above my head
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead

(Verse 2)
They sell hope like it’s gasoline
But light the match and you’ll see
The truth is cold, and always burns
And nothing sacred ever returns

I gave my soul to empty hands
Wrote my name in shifting sands
Tried to matter, tried to fight
But even stars give up their light

(Pre-Chorus)
If I fade beneath the flood, who’ll stand?
Or will the silence understand?

(Chorus)
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead
No flags, no flame, no tears to shed
The world won’t stop, it never bled
For dreamers crushed beneath its tread
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead

(Bridge)
And maybe that’s the final truth
That worth was never bulletproof
That even hearts made out of fire
Collapse beneath the weight of wire

(Final Chorus)
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead
No final words, no path ahead
Just ashes where the future fled
And this shell the world once misread
I’ll bleed for the last time… loved or dead.

I’ll bleed for the last time, loved or dead

[Intro]
Yeah…
You don’t know me, but you think you do
You see lace and call it weak
But I’m stronger than the silence that raised me
I’m Twilight Black

[Verse 1]
I was born in a name like fire
But I talk like rain and I dress in wires
They call me sin, they call me shame
They call me him, but I never came

To be your soldier, I ain’t a blade
I’m a poem in the middle of a war parade
Brother’s a legend, I’m just a sigh
He leads the charge, I ask “why?”

He wears steel, I wear scars
He lights suns, I count stars
You think I’m fragile, you think I fall
But I survived when no one called

[Chorus]
I’m Twilight Black
Soft voice, hard past
Lip gloss like warpaint
You laugh—I outlast
I bend, but I never break
Cry slow but don’t fake
I’m not your dream, I’m not your threat
I’m the echo you can’t forget

[Verse 2]
They said I don’t fit in the frame
Tried to crop me out of the family name
Tried to lock me up in roles I hate
But I picked the lock with grace and pain

Paint my nails with blood and gold
Hide my heart in stories untold
You want me to stand like Skies
But I was born to float through lies

Yeah, I’m soft, I’m small, I’m slight
But I fight demons every night
Without a gun, without a scream
Just mascara stains and dying dreams

[Chorus]
I’m Twilight Black
Pastel in pitch black
A whisper in the bomb blast
You blink—I’m still intact
Mock me, block me, test me, bend me
They tried to end me
But I walk this path with my own light
In heels, not spite

[Bridge – Spoken Word over ambient beat]
You see weakness.
I see survival.
You see pretty.
I see power.
You see a joke.
I see every time I didn’t die.

[Final Chorus]
I’m Twilight Black
Don’t need your map
I cry in code
And I love like collapse
I’m the soft that cuts
The ghost that lasts
Not a phase, not a mask
I’m Twilight
Black.

Twilight Black

[Intro]
Fuck…
I don’t feel much anymore
Just static
But when she pulls me in…
I breathe again

[Verse 1]
I fake my smile like I fake my sleep
Nobody knows that I barely eat
They say “cheer up,” but I’m too far gone
Numb by day, dead by dawn
My voice don’t rise, my hands just shake
Every laugh I give feels fake
But when she calls me her “pretty thing”
I forget I ever felt a goddamn sting

[Pre-Hook]
Velvet ropes, my wrists go numb
And for a second, I’m someone
She rides me like a war she’ll win
And I swear, that’s when I feel again

[Hook]
Only when she breaks me, I feel alive
When she says “be still,” I survive
Her grip on my throat is sweeter than air
Her nails in my back mean someone cares
No joy in the light, no hope in the day
But she takes me apart in the softest way
And I smile…
Only when she breaks me

[Verse 2]
They ask what’s wrong, I don’t reply
Just bite my tongue and wait to die
The world’s too loud, my mind’s too thin
So I let her carve her name into my skin
She says “you’re mine,” and I believe
Like pain’s the only way I breathe
I’m not a lover, I’m a thing she owns
But at least I’m not alone

[Bridge]
She calls me “darling,” I lose control
Takes me apart, then makes me whole
Her pleasure’s sharp, her mercy’s cold
But when I serve, I feel bold
I wear a smile she sewed in red
A boy gone soft who wished for death

[Hook]
Only when she breaks me, I feel alive
When she says “be still,” I survive
Her grip on my throat is sweeter than air
Her nails in my back mean someone cares
No joy in the light, no hope in the day
But she takes me apart in the softest way
And I smile…
Only when she breaks me

[Outro]
So if I’m quiet, don’t ask why
I’m waiting to be seen through her eyes
Twilight Black, a ghost, a toy—
But when she breaks me… I feel joy..

A boy gone soft who wished for death

[Intro]
Yeah…
Just ash and silence now
No one’s comin’ back for me

[Hook]
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste
Brother doesn’t know, I’m dying in this place
Sky’s turned red, and my hope went gray
Ain’t no sun where I lay, just decay

Tried to call for help, but my signal’s dead
Got ghosts in my heart and blood I bled
You said we’d fight till the end, now you walk away
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste

[Verse 1]
My boots sink deep in the cracked old stone
No one left, just me and bone
You wear power armor, I wear regret
You made command—I made my bed

Tattooed the pain on my arms in code
Every scar a secret I never showed
Wasn’t your shadow, wasn’t your shame
But I still got burned in your name

You shine in steel, I drown in dusk
You fight for glory—I rot in rust
Forgotten like a flare that never lit
I’m the brother you don’t admit

[Hook]
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste
Brother doesn’t know, I’m dying in this place
Sky’s turned red, and my hope went gray
Ain’t no sun where I lay, just decay

Tried to call for help, but my signal’s dead
Got ghosts in my heart and blood I bled
You said we’d fight till the end, now you walk away
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste

[Verse 2]
Rad meter’s screamin’, lungs full of dust
Drinkin’ from bottles with caps and rust
Sleepin’ in ruins with a pipe gun close
Ain’t no home, just ghosts and posts

Power cores dead, and the sky don’t blink
I write in blood when I run outta ink
You got a vault, I got a hole in the ground
And a holotape loop that just replays sound

Brother, you shine in your Brotherhood chrome
While I eat cram cold and die alone
You left with pride, I stayed with pain
A femboy wastelander, lost in the rain

[Bridge – Spoken/Whispered]
I just wanted to be seen
Not saved
Not saluted
Just seen

[Final Hook]
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste
Brother doesn’t know, I’m dying in this place
Sky’s turned red, and my hope went gray
Ain’t no sun where I lay, just decay

Tried to call for help, but my signal’s dead
Got ghosts in my heart and blood I bled
You said we’d fight till the end, now you walk away
I’m livin’ in the wastes… I’ve been left to waste

Left to waste

[Intro]
rawr means i love you
but i guess that’s dead now
she said i was cute
then spit in my mouth

⸻

[Verse 1]
She had pink skulls on her belt
Cried glitter, didn’t ask for help
Laughs when she’s sad, bites when she’s bored
Black nail polish like a holy sword

Tore her tights on my bathroom sink
Said, “You’re lucky I even think you’re cute”
Then ghosted for a week
Came back, ruined me in one kiss—rinse, repeat

⸻

[Pre-Chorus]
She’s a rave in a car crash
Guts full of bubblegum and backlash
Every hug is like a threat
But baby, I’m not dead just yet

⸻

[Chorus]
I’m in love with a scene girl
Sharp like plastic, sweet like hurt
Said she’d never settle down
But left her venom in my shirt
Break my ribs with your goodbye
Spit my name and twist the knife
I was yours for one whole night
Now I rot in colored lights

⸻

[Verse 2]
Wristbands, bandaids, posters, lies
All her tears taste weaponized
“I might catch feelings,” she warned with a smirk
Then fed me love like it was dessert

Shoved me down then pulled me close
Said I looked better comatose
I asked, “Was it ever real?”
She said, “I tease you, but my love you’ll feel”

⸻

[Break]
p-p-pull me apart like a plush toy
make me your bleeding scene boy
cut me up in candy pink
say it’s love before i sink

⸻

[Bridge]
Paint me in your toxic kiss
Ruin me like every wish
Crush my chest beneath your boots
Let your trauma take my youth

⸻

[Final Chorus]
RAWR, I love you, now destroy me
Leave your name scratched out on me
I’m not healed and never will be
But your chaos still completes me
Break my ribs with your goodbye
Spit my name and twist the knife
You were mine now every night
Now we rot in colored lights

⸻

[Outro]
she said:
“you’re just my type—
stupid, broken, easy to bite.”
and i smiled.
because she was right.

Rawr means I love you

[produced by yago beats]
[mixed and mastered by convolk]

lyrics: 

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you hide the sorrow
Dont you lie to me

Trapped inside the car
Watch me idly
As the world lives
But it died for me

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you lay your head down
Dont you lie to me

Never been the man
That i strive to be
As the world lives
But it died for me

you cure me when
im near the end
my medicine x2

When i was a kid i was broke
Never had hope
Thinking of sink, never float

Thinking how thick of a rope i would need to keep my feet from touching the floor 

Bitch now i know
River card made me a boat
Done without selling a soul
you love me more than I know
And i love you more than i show 
Heart made of gold

Wait 

nanana x2
ooh

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you hide the sorrow
Dont you lie to me

Trapped inside the car
Watch me idly
As the world lives
But it died for me

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you lay your head down
Dont you lie to me

Never been the man
That i strive to be
As the world lives
But it died for me

everything hurts when she love me its the worst
when she love me its the worst 
x2

you cure me when
im near the end
my medicine x2

medicine

Higher pitched vocalist: Skies Black
Lower Pitched: Twilight Black

All lyrics are handwritten, all songs are made mostly through AI.

Rawr means I love you

Femboy Asthetic

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