Rewind [Suicide Ballad] (Samp. Vague003)

Do I deserve the remission that I have been gifted,
To be so dismissive,
All so insistent, Of all this assistance,
Just let me end it, I'm appalled by my existence

What is this? Don't give me those digits you sent me
I'm scared of empathy, don't tempt me,
Leave me alone, just let me feel empty
All's I got is this phone, on my back is this henley

And all these memories of feeling so alone,
Wonder what it'd feel like to be at home,
Wonder what it'd be like to not bitch and moan,
Why do I miss when my wrists felt cold?

God gave me this life and it feels that it's like,
A return is on my mind and the receipt I can't find,
Deceit of my kind, those who fight what's inside,
I swear I do try and all will come in due time


And it's astonishing, I project no apology, 
impossibly,
Responsibilities I'm dodging these,
Admonish me as the Socrates of the liberated colonies,

Stopping me is just the false prophet speak,
I’m lost and self sabotage is just my policy, 
I think it’s wrong to judge a bottle by its polishing,
Pride swallowing is hard from top to bottom when you problem seek,

Marijuana ganja bourbon and some vodka,
Drink up all the lager like it’s water, here’s a molly for your trauma,
The ‘cid will come back to haunt ya,
Take a couple roxies til you’re barely conscious,

Don’t even get me started on the scars,
It’s really hard to stop when your body’s up on Mars,
Pick me apart cause my home planet seems so far,
It’s next to the stars when I’m gone

I'm Afraid to Live

I Made a friend today,
Then another joined the fray,
Two said to one “I’m Judas I’m afraid”,
Stabbed my back then took three away,

I made a friend today, 
Then another joined the fray,
Two said to one “I’m Judas I’m afraid”,
Stabbed my back then took three away,

Death arrived an hour late,
Told me I should go and pray,
Maybe God will feel bad, 
About what he creates,

Send me to Hell, I’ll burn in flames,
No friend of mine  will have to go through pain,
Why, oh Lord, what did you do to my brain?
Why, oh lord, why’d you make me this way?

I Made a friend today,
Then another joined the fray,
Two said to one “I’m Judas I’m afraid”,
Stabbed my back then took three away,

I made a friend today, 
Then another joined the fray,
Two said to one “I’m Judas I’m afraid”,
Stabbed my back then took three away

Folly

<Intro>
Fuck, you, I'm happy for once,
Fuck, you, I'm happy for once,
Fuck, you, I'm happy for once,
Fuck, you, I'm happy for once,
Fuck, you, I'm happy for once,

<Verse>
Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once,
Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once,
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,
Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once,

Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once,
Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once,
Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once,
Fuck you motherfucker I'm happy for once!

Hey, yo, plague doctor!
What you got in store for someone like me?
A bit high speed and a bit low key?
I ain’t talking bout leeches I ain’t talking bout weed

Got two guitars at my fucking feet 
Can’t even play a fucking string
Y’all know I can’t fucking sing
I’m a just murder this beat on repeat

Hey, yo, Plague doctor!
Why you wear that mask around your face
Is it so you don’t get sick from the plague?
Or is it so you can hide all the pain?

I guess in a way I convey I relate 
But ima be honest it’s a little bit strange
You dress in all black and sleep all day 
You look a little faded, doctor are you ok?

Hey, Yo, Plague doctor!
I’m sorry that I judged your appearance 
Consider you’re reflection is my image
Oh my Lord, Doc I fear for your spirit

Cause I hear voices and sometimes they listen
And they’re the only tenants when my mind goes missing 
You got something that can help me make decisions 
I’ve felt like this ever since double digits

Hey, Yo, Plague Doctor, 
I need some advice 
Every person that I meet tends to lie
And that’s why I stay away from the sky

The birds in the air they can fly
But without their wings, they would cry
Doctor, would you look me in the eyes?
I think all you wanna do is get me high

Hey, Hey, Plague Doctor
You know it’s cool if you smile?
Even if it’s just for once in a while
You and I gotta be against the Belial

We’ve walked the same, thousand miles
And I apologize for the rugged lifestyle
Through all the scars and all the bile 
I can look at you see nothing vile 

<Hook> 
Hey, yo, plague doctor
Can you help me
Can you, can you help
Can you, can you help, me

Heard you got some remedies
My tremor is just trembling 
Promethazine, it’s gotta be
I’ve got a cough that’s bothering

Hey, Yo, Plague Doctor!

Lyrics:
(Hook)
Here we all swim, here we all float 
When it's all done, that's all folks
Here in this river, that we call life
We just keep swimming, and we float on by

Here we all swim, here we all float
When it's all done, that's all folks
Here in this river, that we call life
We just keep swimming, and we float on by

(Verse 1)
Time after time I've tried again
Lie after lie I won't pretend
Find and I find you're my only friend
Line every rhyme with the broken tint

Heard the spoken word now I'm woke to Him
Hurt from the jokes that you spit with sin
Beserk from the work of the stones and stick
Now I've gotta get a new bone to pick

The River Runs Deep but it froze in place 
A buck from 21 don't show my face
Who knows whats great will grow from hate
What prospers of love shall glow from grace

Still stuck at all of these crossroads
Near the edge of the trees where the moss grows
The delta passes through and opens up my lost soul
It's on this river that we all float!

(Verse 2)
When I'm drowning in this water so cloudy
Its hard to see happiness and people so proud of me 
No air, breathe fear that everybody doubts me
THe my mood changes and my morals start bouncing

Supposed to be a good Christian and listen to my ministry
It's hard to be sober when your dealer's on delivery
So you sentence yourself to how some would only mention
To others that are interested to know you are demented

I'm so startled as I'm prone to all this fucking slaughter
Who would love to see the day I'm married with a daughter
My aspirations however might lead me to be a martyr
When I get this depressed it's hard to even bother

Pray everyday I arrive home safely
That ideas of pride won't try to overtake me 
Hope you never have to endure this type of pain
Cause I know for me this river's not lazy

(Hook)
Here we all swim, here we all float 
When it's all done, that's all folks
Here in this river, that we call life
We just keep swimming, and we float on by

Here we all swim, here we all float
When it's all done, that's all folks
Here in this river, that we call life
We just keep swimming, and we float on by

Jared Newsome's Album

River

Adrift

Devote your dome to a tome so stoic,
Stuck in the middle of an ocean,
Not a ship, nor a boat or a soldier
Not a quip, nor a joke being told here

Cold and alone, a lonesome rower,
Hope being lowered to the lowest totem,
Impulses sculpted by a solo floater,
Dove from a boulder, a bipolar poem.

Quotes that I wrote when awoke from a dream,
Water’s too shallow when you think too deep,
It’s not just sad, it’s not just happy,
It’s more like a war than a diagram, sadly.

Like being choked if you’re forced to breathe,
Just wanna smoke, but I really need to eat
Could be worse in between a 
Gift and a curse when I rap on a beat

Yo, I’ve been set adrift
Been a curse, not a gift
Could be worse only if
You were less positive

I’m sorry I’ve been off it
I swear im trying honest
This happens all too often
Where I’ve gotten lost again

Hard to be woke when adrift at sea.
Milligrams of lithium to uplift me.
Probably be a ghost, no pharmacy.
Never fairweather, no friends to harm me.

Forever hurricaned, no pain in this lane,
Rain fades away, but its lame when it stays,
You’d hate the sun if it’s always day
Crazy and deranged when the hallways change

lost in this space with these pills in my veins
Thoughts in my brain, these doubts in my faith,
Translate God, now that’s a mistake
Pray to be awake, but I’m still led astray

Can I be heroic, when I’m so impulsive?
Could you fear man, when he’s so soft spoken?
Bones don’t work when you’re numb and broken
Can you heal wounds while they’re still wide open?

Chorus

Coming to a close, mist arose in the distance.
What have I spent my whole life missing?
Opening clothes, my presence at Christmas,
Kids and a wife and a house with a kitchen.

That’s what I get, with my head in the clouds
Voices in my head, so I scream and shout
There’s gotta be a way to help this now
There’s gotta be light still left to be found

I won’t rest ‘til my name’s known ‘round
Until my quest’s done, I’ll never sit down
I’ll keep writing ‘til my bones stick out
I’ll keep trying ‘til there’s no way out

This is an ode to people like me,
For those with evil, that need to find peace,
“Thinking to myself, yo, who I wanna be?”
It’s hard to get sleep when The River Runs Deep

F. Greyhound

Popular tracks