Its just a reading, and the paragraph itself has been passed around so much that I couldn't figure out where it originally came from. Here's the text:

"I could care less. I am sorry to be the baron of bad news, but you seem buttered, so allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality, because it’s now like the pot calling the kettle cracked. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Irregardless, make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn’t take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It’s clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother’s mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake. Accept the fax."

Al Reading the Paragraph of Oft Confused Homophones

Dreams

This is mostly so I can make my attempts at keeping my speech from degrading into a slurred mumble public and share-able to those interested. For the most part I'm a visual artist and writer (not songs though because those are a bit beyond my reach)

Fizz Frenchtoast