written, recorded and produced by me
artwork by me

i don't really know where i'm going
i know where i've been
it doesn't really feel like i'm moving
where do i begin

and i'm always wishing
that i never tried so hard to please you
when i do
i'm so see-through

then you'll say
will you still be there
well i don't really know
when will it leave me
this feeling i know

it's on my mind
wasting all my time
i'm scared it's gonna hurt me for the rest of my life
i'll never call you
cause i don't want to
recount the pain i've been through 

wish i didn't know
i could feel this way
you took away the sun and then wished me brighter days
and now i'm crying
memories dying
but tell me
what is new?

will you still be there
well i don't really know
when will it leave me
this feeling i know

I Don't Really Know

Thought I felt better
I was just masking the fear
I can’t forget her
She haunts me whenever you’re near

I’m either hurting
Or I don’t feel it at all
We’re dancing and spinning 
As my world crumbles and falls

Thought I was ok
I was just wearing a smile
Did you ever love me?
Well you kept me close for a while

And I wasn’t dancing
I was just on my tip toes 
And now that it’s over
Will I feel better?
Who knows

Thought I Felt Better (Demo)

Written, recorded, and produced by Felicia Sekundiak
Artwork by Felicia Sekundiak

Lyrics:

If you knew that tonight would be the last time
Would you say something different?
Did you mean always when you said 'please be mine'?
Or did you mean something different?

Late nights in your bedroom
Everytime I leave it always feels too soon but
I can't stay forever
Because my brain says now or never 

Where's the joy in growing old?
Is it just something that we're told?
Is heaven even a real place?
Or is it what I felt the first time I saw your face?

End credits roll
End credits roll
End credits roll
End credits roll

Wait
I'm not the lead character in my movie
I think I've lost all control but
Everyone is gonna wish that they knew me
When those end credits roll by

Late nights in my bedroom
Everytime I cry I always think of you and
When I told you never
But my heart will hurt forever, and ever, and ever

Where's the joy in growing old?
Is it just something that we're told?
Is heaven even a real place?
Or is it what I felt the first time I saw your face?

End credits roll
End credits roll
End credits roll
End credits roll

If you only knew what I could see (hey!)
They love my acting, they don't love me
Never gonna share an onscreen kiss (dadadadada)
All my best moments are often missed

End credits roll
End credits roll
End credits roll
End credits roll

End Credits

Written/recorded/produced by me

Fleeting life
I might just let it pass me by
I can't afford to keep what's mine
I don't have much anyway
But all I hear is

Time is precious
Don't you dare waste it
Pour it in your mouth and taste it
Tell that someone that you love them too
I do

Will you love me beyond tomorrow
Will I ever feel beyond my sorrow

Everything is 
Fleeting
Fleeting

Peace of mind
I'm always trying to be kind
Sometimes I leave myself behind
I don't need much anyway
But all I hear is

Time is gracious
To those that make it
The rest of us just smile and we fake it
Tell somebody that we miss them too
Do you

Will you love me beyond tomorrow
Will I ever feel beyond my sorrow 

Everything is
Fleeting 
Fleeting

Fleeting

written, performed, and produced by me
mixed/mastered by me
album art by me

Lyrics:
I stopped looking for answers in all of the wrong places
They once looked so inviting to me
I stopped wishing that you'd see my value as a person
I don't need anyone to set me free

It's a hard truth, getting older
All these knives stuck in our shoulders
It's a hard truth, to have loved you
Left me with more pain to undo

If I shed a tear it won't be for you
It will be for the person I used to be
Before you took them away from me
When I went looking for answers

When I close my eyes I feel your lies
And I can see that it was never meant to be
All you ever did was hurt me
So I went looking for answers

Oh, if there was an acting award
For acting like you care 'til you're bored
You'd win it while I'd die by your sword

And oh, if it isn't shiny and new
Then it's disposable to you
You bite the hand that feeds then you chew

If I shed a tear it won't be for you
It will be for the person I used to be
Before you took them away from me
When I went looking for answers

When I close my eyes I feel your lies
And I can see that it was never meant to be
All you ever did was hurt me
So I went looking for answers

I don't forgive you
I never have to
I don't forgive you
I never have to

I don't forgive you
I never have to
I don't forgive you
I never have to
 
I don't forgive you
I never have to
I don't forgive you
I never have to

I don't forgive you
I never have to
I don't forgive you
I never have to

Answers

you always hurt the one you love-the mills brothers cover

Written, recorded, produced and mixed by me
Artwork by Chanida Areewatanasombat (@chubby.nida)

Lyrics:
I don't wanna go to the party
I would rather sit inside my bedroom
And try, and try, and try not to think of you

I'm not gonna pretend you were sorry
Wouldn't make the pain feel better anyways
So I'll try, I'll try, I'll try to move on

Thought I could be loved until I met you
You did things to me you said you'd never do
I just wanna take back all the love I gave to you

Thought I was in love 
I was jumping through hoops
Trying to please you
How I wish I knew
I just wanna take back all of me I gave to you

I can't believe that I cared so much about what you thought of me
Starving just to hear you call me baby
Didn't think you'd love to see me fall
I wish I never met you at all

How could one be so evil
Almost lost faith in people after your grand upheaval
And it's so confusing cause I, cause I, cause I
I hate you, I love you
It sucks that I still do

Thought I could be loved until I met you
You did things to me you said you'd never do
I just wanna take back all the love I gave to you

Thought I was in love
I was jumping through hoops
Trying to please you
How I wish I knew
I just wanna take back all of me I gave to you

I Just Wanna

white christmas (cover)


my heart is too heavy for my body so i wrote these songs.  don’t take life too seriously ok? love u. enjoy.


freak show

lately ive been
loving love songs
been trying
to feel something
for a while now

and i don’t believe in good things
at all

i’ve been hoping
wishing
dreaming
someone like you
would come around
stay a while now
and you only believe in 
the goodness of the world

bring my dead heart back to life
bring my dead heart back to life
bring my dead heart back to life
bring my dead heart back to life

and maybe one day i will believe in believing something good 

at the movies (demo)

strawberry milkshake

wonderful christmastime (paul mccartney cover)-floor cry and yem iso

don't get ur hopes up when you're always down
the higher u fly the harder you'll hit the ground
i felt something i haven't felt before
a feeling i promised to keep behind closed doors

the waiting game
i hate it
the waiting game
i hate it

you're really under my skin
i don't know where u begin

don't fake a smile like you're a circus clown
the longer u tread the more likely u will drown
i felt something i haven't felt before
instead of being satisfied i still want more

the waiting game
i hate it
the waiting game
i hate it

you're really under my skin
i don't know where u begin

the waiting game
the waiting game

you're really under my skin
i don't know where u begin

the waiting game

it's not that bad
it's like a rubber band to the heart
i know u think u really killed me
give me a couple weeks and you'll see

i'm not that sad
sometimes i love to tear myself apart
i know ur trying hard to spite me
why don't u go ahead and bite me

woohoo
woohoooooo

it's not enough
to eat your feelings off of a lead plate
i know you're thinking i can't take it
i dodged a bullet so i'll make it 

u think ur tough
u won't be sorry but it'd be too late
i am so tired of the bullshit
i won't chase u i guess i'm unfit

woohoo
wooh00oooo0

demos

i'm just really tired ok

cycles
first it's warm and then it's too cold
getting sick from all this motion
washed away all my devotion

well

i never want to
become just like you
it's pretty simple
wish i could tell you why

i try my hardest
i would be honest
if i could think straight
if i could speak my mind

swimming
til the water started spinning
now i feel it down in my throat
heart's too heavy for a lifeboat

well

i never want to
become just like you
it's pretty simple
wish i could tell you why

i try my hardest
i would be honest
if i could think straight
if i could speak my mind

wash

How Deep Is Your Love

just 4 fun. made using royalty-free loops as well as my own synth!

nights like these
boy u got me feelin so weak in the knees
think i'm comin down with it i feel a breeze
love is such a strange thing
love is such a strange thing

scared to tell
or show anyone what lives inside myself
til u came along and freed me from this hell
love is such a strange thing
love is such a strange thing

if i could be there when ur feelin lonely
i'd sing u a song that goes like this
la da dee da ur the one that i dream of
as soon as we share a goodnight kiss

if i could be there when ur feelin lonely
i'd sing u a song that goes like this
la da dee da ur the one that i dream of
as soon as we share a goodnight kiss

goodnight kiss

happy together

laughing on the outside

Drive

called you up
what a mistake
i've got too much
on my plate
why does it always gotta be this way

how you been?
well i've been good
not doing anything like i should
i'd tell you more if i only knew i could

and i tried so hard to know you
i tried so hard
and i tried so hard to show you
i tried so hard

runnin around
runnin around
runnin myself into the ground

if you only cared
if you only knew
that i'm so blue
oh i'm so blue

you bring me down
you bring me down
only myself when you're not around

i'm not hard to see
but you don't see me
you look right through
you look right through

and i tried so hard to know you
i tried so hard
and i tried so hard to show you
i tried so hard

parents

just like a sad song
on a rainy day
just like a heartache 
that won't go away
all i've ever known
is feeling alone

just like a treasure
that i cannot reach
i bring a cake but
i can't have a piece
now something has changed
my life rearranged 

sleepless nights
i don't get no time off
still i can't get enough
you fit my heart like a glove

sleepy days
my head's no longer hurting
i'm not sure if it's working
i think about you too much
(oh too much)

you can always call me
if you ever need me
the sun might go down
but you know it's not leaving
i'll be around
i'll be around

you can always hold me
if you wanna feel me
baby don't be scared
you gotta keep believing
i'll be around
i'll be around

i'll be around
i'll be around
oh i'll be around

you can always hold me
if you wanna feel me
baby don't be scared
you gotta keep believing
i'll be around
i'll be around

i'll be around

nightcall

ORIGINAL BEAT: Sushi by Selfsteam 
https://soundcloud.com/selfsteam
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0aQ90r9TMr6IniH31Me6L8
https://selfsteam.bandcamp.com/
https://www.instagram.com/selfteams/
https://www.facebook.com/selfsteamusic
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_csz2d4hXJEVp-7aLooAxw

PRODUCED BY CANIS MAJOR
https://soundcloud.com/canisxxmajor
https://www.youtube.com/user/canismajorbeats
https://www.instagram.com/canismajorbeats/
https://twitter.com/canismajorbeats
https://canismajor.beatstars.com/

ARTWORK BY CALE JAY LABBE
https://www.instagram.com/calejaylabbe/

LYRICS:
Doctor, doctor
I am dying
Don't save me
I see you trying
I don't think I'm one who can be saved

Call my mother
And my brothers
But whatever you do don't call my lover
I don't think his heart could take the pain

And I know it makes sense 'cause
I swore that I'd never fall in love
And now I'm crying on the floor
Oh yeah I'm dying on the floor
And it's all my fault

And every kiss was just like poison
I drank it up like it was spoiling
I knew it wasn't good for me
But I love all bad things you see
Now rub my wounds with salt

Say something to me
My vital signs are failing drastically
I heard 'em say I don't got a heartbeat
But they don't know that there's no heart in me

It hurts me when my secrets are all out
It's why I never ask no one for help
Until the words just spill out of my mouth
Something broke me now I broke something else

DNR, DNR, DNR form
Sign that shit in a permanent marker
I don't think that you understand this game
I need something a little bit stronger
Just to hold on a little bit longer
Or someone who can wipe my tears away

And I know it makes sense 'cause
There's really no such thing as true love
And now I'm crying on the floor
Oh yeah I'm dying on the floor
And it's all my fault

And every kiss was just like poison
I drank it up like it was spoiling
I knew it wasn't good for me
But I love all bad things you see
Now rub my wounds with salt

Say something to me
My vital signs are failing drastically
I heard 'em say I don't got a heartbeat
But they don't know that there's no heart in me

It hurts me when my secrets are all out
It's why I never ask no one for help
Until the words just spill out of my mouth
Something broke me now I broke something else

salt

dancing around in this parkade alone
and it feels weird cause nothing feels more like my home
i followed my dreams
and i hit a dead end
and it hurts cause i thought
that i was my best friend

tip toe tip toe hear the echo
i bring my toes to the edge
just like they do on the swimming team
i can't keep drowning in my head

oh backstroke backstroke uh-huh
can i go back to when i was young
if i knew the things that i know now
i'd find a way to change this all somehow
but i never was much good on the swimming team

oh i'm dancing around
and i can't feel my face
i'm confined by these walls
soon i'll have so much space 
cause i followed my dreams
'til i ran out of breath
they told me sink or swim
maybe sinking is best

oh backstroke backstroke uh-huh
can i go back to when i was young
if i knew the things that i know now
i'd find a way to change this all somehow
but i never was much good on the swimming team

backstroke backstroke uh-huh
can i go back to when i was young
if i knew the things that i know now
i'd find a way to change this all somehow
but i never was much good on the swimming team

swimming team (demo)

losing interest
losing answers
it's a cruel world!
i don't care
i'll still be there

can you call me
in the morning?
i'm busy licking my wounds
i'll see you soon, yeah

what is this i'm feeling?
is this love?
i think that i'm dying
or it's love
it's running from my head down to my toes
and no one prepared me they said i'd know

all these issues
need some tissues
i got problems
i don't share
cause life's not fair
(it's a cruel world!)

try to shake it
but you're making
me have daydreams about you
and there's no room, woah

what is this i'm feeling?
is this love?
i think that i'm dying
or it's love
it's running from my head down to my toes
and no one prepared me they said i'd know

It's a Cruel World!

Hey!

It's just a matter of time
Before you finally reach me
I'll put my heart on the line
And you can put yours too

So c'mon give me a sign
And you can finally teach me
A feeling I can't define
Maybe you'll feel it too

1-800-LOVE
1-800-LOVE

Hello you've reached the hotline
At the tone leave affection
I'll do my best yeah I'll try
To get right back to you

So c'mon give me a sign
Before we lose connection
And I'll let you see me cry
And dance to my own tune

1-800-LOVE
1-800-LOVE
1-800-LOVE
1-800-LOVE

1-800-LOVE!

1-800-LOVE

The Killing Moon

written by vansire & i <3
art by cale jay labbe

joshua augustin-vocals, mixing/mastering, lyrics, synth
samuel winemiller-bass,guitar
felicia sekundiak-vocals, lyrics

https://open.spotify.com/artist/6ft7JnxMyZhp7N52qzHymY
http://www.instagram.com/vansiretheband
https://twitter.com/wearevansire
https://soundcloud.com/vansire-624239522
https://vansire.bandcamp.com/

lyrics:
i like holding your hand
but it hurts oh i can't stand
to see you
to feel you
my insides are turning blue

i like the way that you walk
sometimes i wish you'd never stop
my heart aches
my bones break
with each little move you make

i can't help
i can't really help it
you make me feel like

you're waiting for the next best thing
something had to change
a girl you'd give a diamond ring
it's kinda hard to explain
i'm not mad that you don't adore me
wish you told me
but when i'm with you i feel lonely 
oh

i've been staring outside
spare time was thinking i could find
where leaves blow
where the weeks go
when the snow comes to dampen your fall

far from the life that we knew
months hutle by and i barely see you
so i've been down
dumb as it sounds
when you're with me you're somebody else 

i can't help
i can't really help it
you make me feel like

you're waiting for the next best thing
something had to change
a girl you'd give a diamond ring
it's kinda hard to explain
i'm not mad that you don't adore me
wish you told me
but when i'm with you i feel lonely 

oh you're waiting for the next best thing
say hi to your friends
the table won't know what to bring
nice to see you again
your intentions are so damn hazy
though it pains me
i wish you'd let your guard get lazy
oh

Next Best Thing (feat. Vansire)

I 
I wanna cry
Life no longer feels beautiful

The time
Keeps passing me by
I no longer feel beautiful

So if I should go
Will you be alright?

Oh I wish I could know
That you'll be just fine

I
I wanna lie
But the pain won't let go of me

It burns
I can't find the words
So I can't get it out of me

So if I should go
Will you be alright?

Oh I wish I could know
That you'll be just fine

Will U Be Alright

say something
so i know what this is 
say something 
seal your words with a kiss 

say something
i don’t know what you want
say something
stop acting nonchalant 

well
i’m not one to play games, no
i like when your feelings show 
hold me tight
in your arms tonight
tell me in the morning 
things will be alright

i could love you if you say so
but first i have got to know
do you see me when i am out of sight?

maybe i should give it time
i just wish that you were mine
i wish that you were mine

say something
wear your heart on your sleeve
say something
so i don’t think you’ll leave

say something 
if i should let you go
say something 
it hurts more not to know

maybe i should give it time
i just wish that you were mine
i wish that you were mine

Wish That You Were Mine

a quick cover of somewhere in my heart by aztec camera

happy valentine's day

FLOOR CRY

Pinned to spotlight

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