Produced by: @achildcalledlime

When I was well into the fifth year of my relationship with the beautifully disastrous love of my life, we had a fight and she moved to LA. In order for me to see her I had drive to LA from OC, and then drive back to OC for work; everyday. We tried to make it work, but neither of us were faithful. Whether it was romantically, or emotionally unfaithful, we eventually deteriorated. I wrote this song in my head while driving on the freeway to see her.

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Sunset & Vine

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

Because I’m an Orange County artist, I had decided I wanted to be more active in the OC rap community so I started reaching out to local artists. I had found an artist that caught my attention. His sound was nice, he produced himself, shot, and edited his own videos. I had shown my girlfriend his music and page at the time and expressed to her how impressed I was. Per usual, her and got into a fight over something unrelated. We stopped talking for a day or so. During that day or so, she decided to reach out to that artist and fuck him. What better way to hurt me than to fuck someone I showed her & that I was impressed with. Touché. But, dirty. I wrote this song after I Sherlock Holmes’d the truth.

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Over & Over

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

Whenever I go to my producers house, who is also my best friend, I’m usually there to record a song I’ve already written. But when I came over this time he had just started cooking up a beat from scratch and it was straight fire. So I sat down and started vibing. I started thinking of everything I had been through that passed year. Problems with my girl, being locked up, drug use. I wrote this song on my homeboys bed.

Drowning

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

I don’t have any tattoos on my body. Not one. But every time I went to jail I’d always consider getting my girls name picked on me. I was thinking her name in calligraphy on my middle finger. I would always joke around with her and tell her I’m going to get her name tatted on me somewhere. And every time I joked around she was serious in telling me that I better not. I still consider getting my entire head blasted. I think about getting lovesick tatted below my eye and getting her name tatted above my eyebrow. I still might. I wouldn’t have written these songs if it wasn’t for her. I wrote this song because I was inspired by a lilskies track that says something about using his face tats as motivation.

Tat Her Name

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

When we broke up she moved to LA. When we started talking again she asked me to come spend the night with her in her new apartment. While I was on the freeway all I could think about was that my girl is inevitably going to turn into a typical LA girl. Shes going to act like she’s important & party in the hills & sleep with every boy wearing Off White. She’s going to turn into a “pseudo-celebrity”. I wrote this song in my car in the underground parking garage of the Camden Apartments on Sunset & Vine.

LA Girl

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

When love becomes a drug, you experience the highs & the lows just like a drug. During the fifth year of our relationship I was doing a lot of drugs to mask the pain of the relationship. In the very beginning, when I first fell, it was like I was getting high off her. It was beautiful. During the fifth year it felt like I was coming down. I wrote this song when we were giving each other the cold shoulder; silent treatment. It felt like the worst come down of my life.

Worst Come Down of My Life

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

After we broke up for the last time I found myself thinking about her. But this time it was different. This time when I was thinking about her I got this sick feeling inside me. I had finally understood that I’m self sabotaging myself every time I run back to her. I had finally realized that even though I was sad & alone, being with her was more painful. She had become bad for my health. I wrote this song when I not only understood that we were toxic for one another, but bad for one another as well.

Bad 4U

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

After awhile it just seemed like we didn’t understand each other—like we couldn’t hear each other when we spoke. It was as if there was too much baggage—too much static or toxicity between us for us to hear each other. She would speak but all I could hear was the loud sound of my resentments toward her. It was like a cell phone with bad connection—we were breaking up. I wrote this song during our final breakup.

Bad Connection

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

Emotions come in waves. Sometimes the heart is more powerful than the brain. When that happens I’m usually in pain. I tend to think theres no way out of this hurt. At other times the brain overpowers the heart. When this happens I’m usually more angry and irritated than upset. I wrote this song while my brain was in control and everything she did was bothering me.

Why Ain't It Working

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

I was sitting on my rack in Theo Lacy writing music and I started thinking about all the places my ex and I have had sex. Then I realized that we had sex in almost every type of @mercedesbenz Her mom worked for Fletcher Jones and she’d get a new car fairly often. Her mom didn’t like me at all, and sometimes I didn’t have my own place, so the only place to smash was in the car. The car became the spot. We were relentless. We parked anywhere and everywhere around Costa Mesa. Thank god for tinted windows. I wrote this song to tell you the cars I’ve smashed in, and the cars I’m going to smash in when I start poppin. Can you relate?

Sex Drive

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

At this point I had written so many sad songs about my current state and status with my ex. After awhile it seemed like I was trapping myself in my thoughts by continuously writing these songs. So, somewhere between fed up & depressed, I decided to write a song about something other than my romantic warfare. I wrote this song while thinking about how grateful I am to still have all my friends in my life.

Friends

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

180 days into my sentence and all I could think about was her. Never-mind jail politics, my court cases, my family, my future, my drug problem, my life… The only thing on my mind was her. Why hasn’t she come to visit me? Why hasn’t she wrote me? Why won’t she answer my call? Who’s she with? She said she loved me. She said she’d be here for me. She said she’d wait. What’s she doing out there? I hope she’s okay. Does she love me? Should I call her when I get out? Should I ghost her when I get out like she’s ghosting me right now? What is going on? Is she doing this on purpose? Is this her payback for everything I’ve done? Did she find someone else? Is he better than me? Why do I love her? The thought of her was louder than anything else within me. The thought of her was like a cancer spreading inside me. I couldn’t stop it. I tired. The thought spread to my body and I began to feel it physically. It was a painful sadness that engulfed me everyday. I wrote this song in Theo Lacy Facility.

Creature

Produced by: @achildcalledlime

2 months into the Pandemic & 4 months into our break up. I was a mess at this point. I’d wake up and snap open white claws that were right by my bed. Popping bars & Vals and hitting up anyone in my phone that could possibly show me the slightest bit of attention. But of course, nobody wanted to hang out because everyone was scared of catching Covid. So I would just sit at home and drink more. Lines of yay and lines of K. More pills and more songs about her. What’s ironic is that I was using to numb the pain, but I would constantly write songs about her. I would use to stop thinking about her, but I would think about her to write songs. I guess that was part of my insanity. I wrote this song while I was at home, but it didn’t feel like home.

Bleeding

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