Magic: The Gathering parody of "Earthquake" by Cheap ThrillZ

Lyrics:

Miracle trigger on the stack, I’m castin’ it
Just like time, Saint’s Katherine’ happenin’
5/5 lifelink, think I’ll flash it in
Triumph’s the truth, we're both veracious

Oops my b, I meant veracious
Honestly, my deck’s predaceous
My miracles are so salacious
Get ya hard in public; ostentatious

40K that’s Warhammer
In the church of ForceofPhil, they clamor
For his decklist; cause they’re so enamored
Cause it mashes like the Brits, that’s bangers

I correctly cast predict, I planned it
Counterbalance all your tricks; ya jammed it
Terminus ya board, ya lands are stranded
I’ll thwart your face then I’ll snap a candid

Praesidium Protectiva
That’s Saint Katherine’s flavor feature
Shuffle six cards right underneath her
She’s etherium, I’m Tezz the Seeker

I’m Botticelli; she’s Primavera
I’m Manet; she’s Folies Bergére
I’m Renoir; she’s Grenouillére
I’m Matisse; she’s Bonheur de Vivre
I’m Goya; she’s Tauromaquia
I’m Van Gogh; she’s Mona Lisa
I’m Rembrandt; she’s The Standard Bearer
I’m DougesonTwitch; she’s the baneslayer

Warhammer; those were art bars
Like an artist, I draw cards
Illustrator, I’m illustrious
I’m a writer, here’s a plot twist

Miracle 
Saint Katherine
Like a javelin 
to the abdomen
In the top seven, 
She’s a deadly sin
She’ll string you out 
like a violin
She’s sticky
Like a goblin
On the battlefield
She’s residin’ in
No denyin’ it
Or defyin’ it
Time to resign the game and
Sign the slip
She’ll beat you down 
With her cape and shield
She’ll steal your life
And then make ya feel
So sad and lonely
And so defeated
You’ll beg for mercy
Wish you’d conceded
But you had the chance
That’s in the past
This game was over
When it came to pass
Your fate was sealed
Right from the start
When I miracle’d
This work of art

Miracle Saint Katherine
By design
She’s so sublime
Turning water into wine 
She overhauled the archetype
Haters try deny the hype
But Triumph shrugs it off like
She’s kryotonite
And your superman with a stupid plan
She’ll make you resign like your Vince McMahon

She’ll make you tap with a sharpshooter
Best there was, best there is, while you’re a loser
Rock Bottom you straight through to the basement
She’ll Stone cold stun you to your grave since
She’s MTG’s new Undertaker
Tombstone you; that’s a neck breaker
Triumph’s the Truth is understatement
She’s Charlotte Flair; it’s second nature

She’s Triple H, she’s takin’ over
She’s Dean Malenko with the four-leaf clover
She’s Boldwyr Intimidator
And you’re a coward who can’t block her either

She’s futuresight
unprecedented
You can call her Garruk
Cause she’s relentless

She’ll break your teeth
Send you to the dentist
You’re a partisan; 
She’s an independent

A triumph is a funeral
A procession so beautiful
The lingo’s unusual, I’ll
Still outplay you; inscrutable

Magic: The Gatherin’
Is now Magic: Saint Katherine
The red zone’s a labyrinth
For your creatures; inadequate

Miracle 
Saint Katherine
Like a javelin 
to the abdomen
In the top seven, 
She’s a deadly sin
She’ll string you out 
like a violin
She’s sticky
Like a goblin
On the battlefield
She’s residin’ in
No denyin’ it
Or defyin’ it
Time to resign the game and
Sign the slip
She’ll beat you down 
With her cape and shield
She’ll steal your life
And then make ya feel
So sad and lonely
And so defeated
You’ll beg for mercy
Wish you’d conceded
But you had the chance
That’s in the past
This game was over
When it came to pass
Your fate was sealed
Right from the start
When I miracle'd
This work of art

Miracle Saint Katherine

Magic: The Gathering Parody song to "HIGHS" by Jee Juh Beats

Lyrics:
People want cards banned all the time bro
But people can play whatever they want bro
Play whatever you want.

Dack Fayden Lootin’ Faithlessly
Like he’s an atheist, call him
the greatest thief in the multi
mist of the blind eternities

He’s got them red hands from handlin’
The masterpieces off your mantles and
Dancing down your chimnies like he’s
Saint Nick and he’s 

eatin’ milk and cookies
Cause my man loves dessert
He’s fights off Nicol Bolas off
Ravnica to take what he’s earned

But an untimely death is ultimately 
what he was served
Cling to the dust;
Assassin’s trophy confirmed

We lost a good one today.
Dack Fayden was my boy.
Dude cooked a bomb-ass omelet.
Loved that conditioner he used.
But don’t forget…

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 25 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 48 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 69 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Play whatever you want 

You can play with Baleful Strix
In the Stryfo bag of tricks
But don’t you think be remiss
If you missed the fourth ponder

In this 27-color deck with playin’
drown in the loch
This is magic the gathering
designed by Jackson Pollock

It’s like a Rhystic Studies vid 
sleeved itself up for a game
A colorful array; the mana base 
remains unexplained

Ice-fang, notion thief, Golos, the tireless pilgrim
Toxic deluge, punishing fire, cephalid coliseum
Yorion, opposition agent, rise and fall,
Fatal push, pyroblast, lightning bolt, Uro, waterlogged grove

Endurance, Minsc & Boo, Fury, Boseiju endures
Brazen Borrower, badlands, bayou, carpet of flowers
Pernicious deed, taiga, Otawara, Sorin the mirthless
Plague engineer, tear asunder, yo I think this workin’

Play a wasteland, loam it back, loot it away with your Dack
Put Hullbreach on the stack, attack, or Meltdown artifacts

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 25 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 48 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 69 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Play whatever you want

Stryfo Pile (Play Whatever You Want)

Magic: The Gathering rap parody of "Revival" by Jake Angel Beats.

Lyrics:

It’s the AnziD steam; MTG; 
slinging legacy up on the twitch scene
We’re going for the eyes, look at Minsc & Boo
Playing all 5 colors, we don’t have to choose

Castin’ EI, PE, STP,
clock is always red cause he brings the heat
Sylvan library; we’re payin’ eight
With Terminus’ mom, Uro escapes

Dressin’ Down opponents; oops he flashed ya
Streamer, commentator, mage; spell “caster”
double entendre, endurance matters
Fly across the world; eternal magic master

Punts on punts on punts galore
Elo puntin’, Anzi hits record
Sponsors shellin’ out hot meals to eat
Death & Taxes on stream guaranteed

He’s got Toast in chat, he’s makin’ toast
He’s the content king, coverage; the G.O.A.T
Fans in chat know that he’s fetchin’ duals
Place your bets: ponder, miss, then he’ll scoop

Wasteland, taiga, play savannah
Prismatic mana; panorama
This is legacy, this ain’t commander 
But Yorion’s his jam; let’s take a gander at...

AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
Welcome to the stream
Would you like to reveal? 
His hand hider designed in ’17
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
Welcome to the stream
Would you like to reveal? 
His hand hider designed in ’17
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy

anzidmtg Theme

MTG Parody of Yo MTG Taps Theme Song (Podcast hosted by Joey Pasco and Big Head Joe | music credit to their music producer)

Lyrics:

Yo MTG
Yo MTG

We got DurdleMagus durdlin’
And ForceofPhil spittin' bars
They’re the side event end bosses
Planewalkin’ the shards

The best podcasters ever makin’ plays

Yo MTG
Yo MTG
Raps!

Yo MTG Raps!

Magic: The Gathering Parody of "Back at It" by Trunxks.

Lyrics:
Go to Battle, engage the seige 
Hold nothing back, leave no reprieve
Fightin coast to coast to seven seas
Claim this plane, transform the free

We’re gon battle out in the wildernesses
Relentless pressure, don’t seek forgiveness
Anything less than success is weakness
Beatdowns abound; these grounds repleted

Red zones heated; I’m quakin’ magma
I’m spittin’ fire; that’s baked miasma
I’m global warming, I’ll make ya spasm
When I melt the ice of your glacial chasm

On Zendikar, say, “au revoir”
You’re Tommy Pickles, I’m Reptar
I’m slappin’ hedrons, I’ll pay no heed
I’m crowned the king, I’ll bend your knees

On Ravnica, I’ll ravage ya
I’ll bash the guilds, I’ll lather up
Glistening oil; I’ll slather ya
Compleat this battle, Praetors’s touch

Mercadia? Oh hey, what up?
I’ll pirate stomp your ports to dust
I’ll tap your down, I’ll spin ‘round
I’ll bounce your islands, I’ll make ya gush

On Kaldesh, I’mma make a mess
I’ll aetherflux their local press
I’ll crash the fair, these steampunks 
Will all be one; Phyrexia

Dominaria, a safari of
Sleeper agents tryin to party
Like Mardi Gras with Mamma Norn
Infect you right down to your core.

[Chorus Repeat]
[Chorus Repeat]

In Strixhaven, I’m Silverquill
Drip ink like oil; make it spill
Jab my pen right through your solar plexus 
The Bib-bloplex, is now Phyrexan

On New Capenna, I bring militias
I’m a carnivore and I’m on a mission
Your pescatarian; sleep with the fishes
Brick Wall Balzano? No resistance

On Innistrad, I am a god
I’m Avacyn meets Atraxa
I’m Griselbrand on bath salts
Phyrexia’s your Helvault

On Eldraine, I’m insane
I’ll ingrain the King slain
A steel frame; wiry complexion,
His name is Kenrith, King Perfected

On Ixalan, conquistadors
Will taste perfection and bleed for more
Unsheath their swords, lay down their sabres
They’ll praise their god; I am their maker

On Kamigawa, imma light em up
I’m a technological cyberpunk
I’m Jin gitaxias, I’ll probe ya ass
Ask Tamiyo, compleationist

Good Morning Magic, with Gavin Verhey?
I’ll drink his coffee, I’ll eat his parfait
I’ll change his wifi, I’ll block his driveway
I’ll burn his yarn since he loves to crochet
I’ll steal his deck box, I’ll pet his puppy
I’ll X his files like Dave Duchovny
I’ll fly to Renton, I’ll head to WoTCay
Imma power creep, they’ll design me one day

[Chorus Repeat]
[Chorus Repeat]

I’m droppin’ bombs on Gobakhan,
I’m end this fast like Ramadan
I’ll char the land like I’m crispin’ flan
I’mma mix and batter til all are one

On Belenon, I’mma a mastodon
I’ll end these knights; that’s denouement
I’m the elephant that’s in room
I’ll tusk your guts; intestine soup

I’m on top of Theros like an Angel’s halo
I’ll glaze the tip of Nylea’s arrow
Glistening oil infuse your air flow
Intoxicate ya bone marrow

On Amonkhet, I’mma make ya sweat
All resisters will taste regret
I’ll brand your face with Phyrexya’s crest
And claim the heart of Hazoret

I’ll dive down to Arcavios
I’ll snap the snout of Beledros
I’ll steal the scrolls of Velomachus
I have no ethics; Clarence Thomas

I’m on Fiora, where I’ll Implore ya
To stand down or face the horror
Of getting gored by minotaur; a
Savage roar of Vorinclex, 
who spares no mercy nor respect 
for your relatives or interests; 
this vivisect will cut you deep; 
oil seeps through your eyes to see
Your better now, you’ve all been freed
You’ve all been healed, miraculously
ForceofPhil; what it do; entreat
Phyrexia is now compleat

[Chorus Repeat]
[Chorus Repeat]

Battle — Seige

Magic: The Gathering Parody of "Fried Rice" by Lew Sid.

Lyrics:
On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play, its a scam, I’m the man
With an attitude, kinda rude, so shrewd
Coming through with a die roll flick, fan ya hand
Gonna strip down through a double mulligan,
Make a nongame, can you see I’m that:
So cool, so fly, so sick, so sly
So sweet, so quick, so neat, go cry
Tears on the front page of the internet
I reddit was an all black meta game; decadent
with the cheese so thick; lactose intolerant
In the void; gonna walk: darkness; all there is
Orcs collidin’ on the board; who’s tryin’
To search a library, you know that ain’t good 
Opposition agents flash their black hoods
Tap ya deck, c’mon dealer, hit me
Need a stiff 21; black jack to give me
That sweet atraxa, I don’t need ask ya
If she lookin’ svelt, shelled out in porcelain
Of course, no pores, no force, no mercy given
Flip the top 10; i’m ballin’ out; 
Lucy Van Pelt
You’re Charlie Brown
Missed kick straight flip you upside down
good grief, bad beats, yeah? So profound
When we play magic; gather round
Turn zero’s lit; 
Wait wait wait 
 
On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

On the play
I would say
Double grief
Reanimate

Grief Scam

This Game Is

Hogaak On The Stack

Forgot About ForceofPhil

Magic Changes

Wizard Impaired

Underground dojo keyboard cage fighter making Magic: The Gathering song parodies.

Co-Host of the Eternal Durdles podcast. 

@forceofphil on all socials

Battle — Seige

ForceofPhil

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