I had a conversation with a friend who had to take pills in order to help keep the heart going through the night.  We talked about who would find us if we died in our sleep and how long that may take.  My friend forgot to take the pills once and was bumping into walls and ended up sleeping for like 30 hours or something crazy.  The very end of this song (guitar(s) solo) represents the "awakening"/realization that the medicine was missing in their bloodstream.  I named it "Catskills" because my friend referenced Rip Van Winkle (long sleep) and that story takes place in the Catskill mountains.

Lyrics:

Walking into walls again
Fogs that roll into my head
Twenty, years pass in my bed 

Sometimes I think of dying in my sleep
But who would make those calls I need?

So now, what is going wrong
Little pills to keep me strong
Forgot, dusk bleeds into dawn 

Sometimes I think of dying in my sleep
But who would make those calls I need?
Sometimes I think of dying in my sleep
How long, before someone will find me?

Catskills

I wrote this song mainly for my brother (Looprication)because he really likes electronic music

Running in Place

I wrote this song about something I never want to talk about.

Lyrics:

For all these years I've wasted
For all these tears I've cried
For all these years I've waited
Only to say good bye

So long it seems forever
So now why even try
So long since last December
I should have said good bye         

Next time I'll make it better        
Remember what's inside       
This pain from last December
And I won't say goodbye

Just give me something
Just give me something
Something from nothing

And there's no one left to hold on to
And there's no one left to hold on to
And there's no one else there's only you
And there's no one else there's only you
And there's no one else there's only you

Something From Nothing

This is the best song  will ever write. It was recorded in 1999?, roughly.  I never intended it to be a final mix because it isn’t really mixed at all, or mastered.  It is what it is, raw emotion.  I need to always return to this song as my inspiration for caring less about production quality and focusing more on the purity of what truly matters, your heart and the energy that flows naturally into song form.

Lyrics:

and I miss all the things I’ve yet to do
and I’m mad at everything that I’ve been through
and I miss everyone I ever knew
and I wish there was one to hold on to
but the world doesn’t work that way

and I’ll miss all the times you’ll pull me though
and it’s sad to miss something I never knew
and I won’t take back all that I say
and I can’t explain myself today

but I know I will make it through
even without you

sometimes I wanna scream 
and tell the whole damn world 
exactly what I think
but that’s not me
that’s not me 
that’s not me

and I’d give so much if you would  let me in
and I’d love forever but I never win
so for now I’ll just let the days grow long
and one day I hope you’ll hear this song

I wrote this after my friend told me about the Halls of Amenti, which made me think about what is and is not real and the journey it would take in order to become perfect enough to escape the false reality we all may be currently living in on "Earth".  This song is a conversation between a humanoid and a higher power about returning to Earth over and over to become that perfect being, hence the title, "An Impossible Ask"

Lyrics:

Matter over mind
We've been left behind
Manifested Birth
Fabricated Earth

Can I be destroyed
You'll be redeployed
Counting down the time
Illusion of your mind

For this world just forget about all you've heard (it's not real)
They control all there is to know, free your soul

What is even real
You're just a cog in the wheel
Is there a chosen path
It's predetermined, all is math

On this Earth don't forget about all you've learned (I'm not perfect)
What's it worth when the love is gone, we all hurt

"If not for the sacrifice of the brave few, we would not possess the conscious of the many. The Halls of Amenti are open to all; there is no lock, but you must possess the key.  And that key is inside each of us."

An Impossible Ask

I wrote the piano portion of this when I was about twelve years old.  Recently, I remembered it and I’m glad I was finally able to put it to use.


Lyrics:

So much I’ve learned
All bridges burn
There’s no one left here waiting

The closing doors 
My pain and yours
There’s no one left here waiting for me

I've never been...
good at goodbye

Collapsed your trust
My words just dust
There’s no one left here waiting

No words to say 
Can’t make you stay
There’s no one left here waiting for me

I've never been...
good at goodbye

Your sharpest note
Can’t cut my throat
I don’t need someone waiting

May last farewell
I broke your spell
I don’t need someone waiting for me

I've never been...
good at goodbye

Please remember me
I need you
I’m this lifetime
To make it through

Farewell

Written from the perspective of two people.

Lyrics:

You never listen to what I say (do you)
Good thing I don’t talk anyway (to you)
It’s been so long won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
Stay away

So much has happened since  that day (with you)
Two worlds collided in some way (karma)
Your gravity won’t let me stay
Let me stay
Let me stay
Stay away

My mind too fragile for this fray (Broken)
Your heart so pure I can’t repay (Golden)
I’m so lonely
Won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
Stay away

I don’t want to know you anymore
You just don’t know me anymore

Whatever happens from this day (Godspeed)
For your safety I will pray (always)
You’ve hurt so much won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
Stay away

I would never hurt you

Stay

Lyrics:

Insatiable lust 
Time for the hunt
Carefully trussed
Vampire drunk

I wanna turn you
I wanna turn you over
I wanna turn you
I wanna turn you sober

Smoothest of skin
Where to begin
Living for sim
Vampire drunk

I wanna turn you
I wanna turn you over
I wanna turn you
I wanna turn you sober

So come and fill me up
Too much is never enough
So come and fill me up
Until I’m vampire drunk

These silly games we play
You can’t just walk away
You’re too addicted to my smile
Just look me in the eyes
While I sink deep inside
The night’s so young you'll stay awhile

Down on your luck
Wait until dusk
Who will you trust
Vampire drunk

I wanna turn you
I wanna turn you over
I wanna turn you
I wanna turn you sober

So come and fill me up
Too much is never enough
So come and fill me up
Until I’m vampire drunk

So come and fill me up
Too much is never enough
So come and fill me up
Until I’m vampire drunk

Vampire Drunk

It’s okay to cry my love
It’s okay to shed a tear
There’s nothing more that you should fear
I only wish that you were near
I will always be right here

It’s okay to cry my love
It’s okay to carry on
Even when all hope is gone
My love for you will still be strong
In my mind you can do no wrong

Carry On

Lyrics:

Breathing in through trees and light
Nothing ever seems quite right
Just like they do in fall
Mistakes were made and shots were called
Next time I’ll take it slow
Follow shadows where they go
Now everything seems old
Razorblades are filled with mold
Above the trees I see below
Filtered sun, on the run, nothings catching me 
Except what I’ve done, Except what I’ve done

I chose a path of none
Leaning forward trying to catch the sun
Hazy days are gone
You can’t stop me now
I’m no one
Im no one

There’s nothing you can’t cure
Everything you think even more
I’ll keep your mind safe and warm
Suffocating, in the urn have no concern
I’ll hide the ashes in the labyrinth to my heart
If it exists, you’ll be the first to find something from this curse-ed
Life of ours, among the stars, maybe next we can be just who we are
Maybe next we can be just who we are

Maybe Next Time We Can Be Just Who We Are

Lyrics:

Don't let the world rest on your shoulders, take care of yourself
Don't let the world rest on your shoulders, until there's nothing left

Breath Deep, let it fade away

There's something that I want to tell you, I don't know where to start
There's something that I want to give you, but please don't break my heart

Breath Deep, let it fade away
Breath Deep, save yourself today

Today we need everyone we know

Off The Grid

There are no rules in music, never forget that. 

Don’t let “perfect” hold you back from letting the world hear something amazing!

After a 20 year break from recording music, I’m finally back into it.  My setup is simple: a few guitars, a ten year old MacBook Pro, an Oxygen 8 keyboard, a mic, and an M-Audio 192x4.  Basically just what’s in my main picture.

Fourhourwindow

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