Hey guys. I haven’t written songs in awhile but I just got back into it and this is a rap I wrote that is very personal to me. I’m a Christian and I came out of the closet and lost some friends but also gained some really accepting people in my life. However, the one person I could never get approval from is myself. I was conflicted. And I know there’s gonna be people on here who are gonna say that I just need to turn to Jesus, but Jesus is my life. God is my everything. I’m tired of hating myself and thinking that I’m never gonna be good enough cause I’m not trying hard enough. We all sin. Everyone’s sin is different. Romans 1:26-32 bans homosexuality and says he gave them up to their lusts. Everyone points this out... but does nobody read right after that it says      Romans 2: 1-3 “Therefore thou art inexcusable. You who pass judgement for whatever reason on another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. Now we know that Gods judgment on those who do such things is based on truth. So when you a mere human pass judgement on them and yet do the same thing, do you think you will escape Gods judgement?”                                                         I’m just saying that it is no ones place to condemn. If you wanna bring People close to God, show them through your actions and kindness and always think “What would Jesus do?”      Anyway, I hope you enjoy, it’s not professional and I borrowed a beat off YouTube but the lyrics belong to me. credit to Rujay for the beat

Gay Christian

My voice sucks so here's the lyrics. 

"do you remember all the dreams we had. all the good times. all the bad. all the memories, all the laughs. and never wouldve thought itd  be our last.

 I miss you like a lot. This feeling in my heart never wouldve thought. it would be so hard. 

Saying goodbye to an old friend that I once knew. thought id always have you. but I guess it ain't true. I cant believe that its all over now. I know that i messed up and I let you down. If I could go back in time then I'd turn this all around. I'd make sure we'd be smiling and id have you around. 

I know I went crazy and I lost control. I was afraid of losing you and being alone. But I lost you anyway. 
 it was a waste. I wish you wouldve stayed and not gone away.

I know I said things that I didnt mean. And i hurt you cause you had hurt me. But I love you and you should know that. I said i wish I never met you but I wouldnt change a fact. Cause you were always there for me when I needed you. And thats why right now Im feeling blue. 
I got some other friends here by my side. But they don't understand like you and I.

The late night talks. neighborhood walks. Me talking too much so you tell me to stop. All the laughs in the past. Man tell me why it didnt last. 

 I was always bad at talking even though I talk too much. But when I talked to you, I could never say enough. You made me laugh. Now you make me cry. But now its over and Im wishing for one more try.
 
And I miss you. whyd you have to leave. I know I messed up. but Im begging you please. You said  best friends forever always sticking together. What happened to us. it changed like the weather. Do you ever think of me like I think about you. Do you ever do the things that we used to do.

Like soccer, or movies, or riding your bike. Roman nose, eating. or taking a hike. Fire works, pancakes, or fourth of july. Photography, art. or watching the sky. 

And I know this is my fault. But I cant help but feel like this is what you asked for. You were always annoyed of me and you seemed embarrassed. Said I should grow up And you acted like my parent. telling me Im childish and that I shouldnt play around. You always told me to calm down. But I don’t wanna grow up cause growing up is hard. Life is kinda rough and you get scars. People aren’t as nice as they used to be. And Im kinda wishing I had you to protect me. 


You were the one that cheered me up when I was feeling low. And I always had a place when I had nowhere else to go. You were the sunshine on rainy days, and now that sunshine has gone away. 
Anyway the point of this song is to move on. Cause Im holding on to something that don’t belong. You’ve changed and Ive changed. It hurts and its driving me insane. But sometimes you gotta hurt to grow. Sometimes you gotta be happy on your own. 

Yeah I miss you and I wish you were here. But right now I’m stronger and I can face my fears. People come into your life for a reason. Sometimes its forever and sometimes its just a season. I wish I could talk to you but since I can’t. Im just typing this out and Im on a rant.But Ill miss yah like a lot. I hope you miss me too, and Im in your thoughts.

I hope your doing well and I hope your doing better. Even though it hurt. I never will forget yah. When you love someone set em free. Cause everything will be how its meant to be. 

  Maybe one day our paths will meet again. Youll always be my best friend."

foxrunner1999

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