Friday Night Fanfiction - Season 9

Fanfics read: 
Sugar Smack Dat Ass (by CountChocula69)
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Orgasm! (by Rina76)
Get in Me Swamp (by tinglymelons)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Sorry to say but yes, we’ve returned. Again. Good to see you all. Hope you had the best fucking pride month ever. 

The core hosts get immediately into it (after about 20 minutes of tangents and non-starts) with Sugar Smack Dat Ass. Sexy breakfast orgy? Hell yes! After that, the crew plunges back to the 90’s with Bill and Ted’s Excellent Orgasm! It’s totally righteous, dudes. Lastly, we visit our favorite large green man (outside of Jabba the Hut, The Jolly Green Giant, and the Big Green Monster at Fenway Park) with Get in Me Swamp. Make sure to hydrate as well as take adequate bathroom breaks before you hit swamp-territory. Crocks are still stupid, as well.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/07/12/season-9-episode-1-david-needs-to-cum-on-you-in-30-minutes-or-your-pizzas-free/

Season 9

Season 9 Episode 1 – David needs to cum on you in 30 minutes or your pizza’s free

Fanfics read: 
Home (by BlackDeviouseRose)
Darling It’s Better Down Where It’s Wetter (Take It From Me) (by imaginary_golux)
Every Man Should Start the Day on His Knees (by ExposeTheZodiac (GwenTheTribble))

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn

Oh, fun! No time for elaborations this week, we have sexy things to bring you! Due to a technical issue, David did not exist this week (blame his neighbor doing yardwork at 7:30 at night). So I had to scramble to get these stories ready. First is a Voltron hatefuck fic called Home, featuring two good boys. After that, its an AU Star Wars fic involving mermen and masturbation. Last, we’ve got a political heatwave with Jeb and Ted in Every Man Should Start the Day on His Knees. Warm titfucks to you all.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/07/20/season-9-episode-2-what-meat-gets-me-off-what-the-fuck-kind-of-fucked-up-question-is-that/

Season 9 Episode 2 – What meat gets me off? What the fuck kind of fucked up question is that?

Fanfics read: 
Vegeta Gets Stoned (by TwitchySeaHorse)
Boku No Hero Asscademia – Episode 69 All Dick & MidWHOREia (by HotCockOnTheRockYUM98)
Dim Cast Light (by AzenaKira)
take and give (by venvephe)
Erina’s Lunch (by snakebit1995)
THE EX (by LilRamona)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Ooooo, experimentation time! Yesssssss….

In this episode of FNF, the core crew goes at it a different way. We have five stories where each host is assigned a role (well, most of the time, anyway) and we treat it like a low-budget audio drama. Actually, that’s more like a no-budget audio drama. There’s no sound effects, there’s no attempt at giving believable performances, but we each have roles, so we’re halfway there! The last story in the listing is read in our regular style because we did too much too quickly and Stevo didn’t have enough time to modify another fic. Be on the look out for All Might being in literally every anime ever, now.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/07/26/season-9-episode-3-you-touch-anywhere-on-my-bed-youll-be-where-my-balls-have-been

Season 9 Episode 3 - You touch anywhere on my bed, you'll be where my balls have been

Fanfics read: 
69 Hues of Deez Nuts 9 Columbo finds out who Cucked Roger Rabbit (by BusterManwomb)
69 Hues of Deez Nuts 6 Disney Reboots Indiana Jones (by BusterManwomb)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Afrohawk, Waffle

DAMN YOU, BUSTER MANWOMB! YOU DID THIS TO ME!

*sigh* why did I even open my big mouth. A few episodes ago, we read about Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz and editorialized Columbo into it. Well, now Mister Manwomb wrote a story involving Columbo just for us, so we gotta read it. The crossovers abound in this double-trouble episode of masculine baby organs fanfics. After Columbo and Roger Rabbit we dive into Indiana Jones and some absolutely pants-shitting horrifying imagery. Waffle and Afrohawk tried to help us get through it. It was a marginal help.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/08/02/season-9-episode-4-meat-first/

Season 9 Episode 4 – MEAT FIRST

Fanfics read: 
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG WORLD WAR 2 DRAGON (by DarkDoomFireMaster)
The Flintstones Have A Snow Halation (by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus)
Nobody touches Charles! Not even you, En Sabah Nur! (by cherikstony)
Good Vibrations (by dracoqueen22)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Zak, Pope, Wolley

Oh boy, Sonic fanfiction! Never read that before. This pseudo-sequel to SONIC HIGH SCHOOL gets our episode going, and when Zak, Pope and Wolley show up, we massively shift gears. An ensemble cast joins the Flintstones and the Love Live girls in The Flintstones Have a Snow Halation. Then we didn’t have anything else really good ready so we read about X-Men and Transformers. It was a weird, weird night. I still have a yelling problem.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/08/10/season-9-episode-5-sonic-calls-anne-frank-a-loser/

Season 9 Episode 5 – Sonic Calls Anne Frank a Loser

Fanfics read: 
Give Me Something (by blame1988)
Keijo Futanari Girls (by snakebit1995)
Realizations of Emotions (by Oscar-Wilde-Inspired)
A Tent Scene (by Rene)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, D-LUCKS

Well, shit. A new threshold has been breached. We finally read some fanfic about real life Hockey players. And it’s super weird. But apparently there’s some good dick sucking involved. D-Lucks joins us after we part ways with the fic after that, involving Keijo girls becoming Futanari. We move on to the Spanish Fly follow up for CSI from a few seasons ago, and then with some vanilla LOTR stuff. Overall, it was a messy time. Delicious.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/08/16/season-9-episode-6-what-are-the-odds-that-your-parents-are-assholes/

Season 9 Episode 6 – What are the odds that your parents are assholes

Fanfics read: 
Spiderman x Godzilla (by DirtyLittleSeacrest)
The Bread of Love is the Bread of Life (by IDetestTragedy)
Creep (by makotonaegi)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

An unintentionally guest-less episode where we peruse the various holes of things. First, we get up close and way personal with Spiderman and Godzilla. Then, we try and eventually give up on some Yaoi based on the anime Yakitate Japan. Lastly we creepily masturbate as Plague Knight in a strange bout of exhibitionism. Overall, an adequate Wednesday night.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/08/23/season-9-episode-7-the-public-boobie-system-explosive-boobie-magic/

Season 9 Episode 7 – The Public Boobie System ~ ‘EXPLOSIVE BOOBIE MAGIC!’

Fanfics read:
Your Waifu is Trash!!! (by Piddleyfangs)
Daddydorf 2 Coming Home To You (by Th3Baron)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Angelbaine, Richard Pryor

WOO! Happy birthday, Stevo (me)! What a wonderful belated present to spend reading awful smut! Thanks, Th3Baron!

We open the episode with the eternal quandary of why your waifu is shit with…Your Waifu is Trash!!! Then we bring in Angelbaine and Richard Pryor to read a wonderfully written story just pour moi by Th3Baron as a sequel to Daddydorf. So many Goron dicks to fuck, so little time.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/08/30/season-9-episode-8-ad-hoc-cock/

Season 9 Episode 8 – Ad-Hoc Cock

Fanfics read:
Sweet Salvation A Homer and Flanders Love Story (by juicydickhugger)
Snakes on a Plane (by Hans von Hozel)
Winnie the Pooh Assimilated by the Borg (by Peter Malak)
The Room (by Hans von Hozel)
Animal Farm (by Hans von Hozel)
Mass Effect (by Hans von Hozel)
Half-Life (by Hans von Hozel)
Australia (by Hans von Hozel)

Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Mirri, Epidehl

We read a LOT of stories in this one! And Logan and Val weren't there either, so we had to actually try hard to carry the load this go around. Mirri and Epidehl joined us later but there's so many stories I'd have to write at least TWO paragraphs in order to list them all out. And I'm a very, very lazy person. So...just dive right in, and get some holy hammers in your didly!

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/09/06/season-9-episode-9-sometimes-the-orphans-explode/

Season 9 Episode 9 - 'Sometimes the Orphans Explode'

Fanfics read:
Daddydorf 2 Coming Home To You (by Th3Baron)
Mass Effect Milk Madness (by DiegoSandiego)
A Belmont In Castlevania Episode 1 – The Mad Forest (by Ryxixi)
The Secret of the scopius doll (by Daddy of Dumptruck Chreg Bortz)

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn, Disdonn, Cassie

So I’m just gonna come out and say it: I’m drunk and I haven’t slept much in the past few days. So we read a bunch of stuff, and also had a lot of fun. Cassie and Disdonn were guests. Insert whatever words you want for the next paragraph. Enjoy!

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/09/13/season-9-episode-10-i-stuck-my-finger-in-a-model-train-power-brick-once-and-i-think-thats-what-made-me-gay/

Season 9 Episode 10 – I Stuck My Finger in a Model Train Power Brick & That’s What Made Me Gay

Fanfics read:
The Secret of the scopius doll (by Daddy of Dumptruck Chreg Bortz)
It’s All Too Much (by Beatle Babe)
Forza Horizon 3.docx

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Matt, Sara

What a weird way to spend a Wednesday, huh? We only finished two stories, one of which we had less than two pages left to go on, but what we failed to accomplish by reading a lot we made up for with laughing a lot! Also, can you turn your mic gain up a little bit and stop leaning back so far, David? Please? We hope you enjoy the totally serious not at all lampooned Forza Horizon 3 review. The wonderful Matt and amazing Sara joined us this time around.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/09/21/season-9-episode-11-isnt-desperation-just-another-word-for-friendship/

Season 9 Episode 11 – Isn’t Desperation Just Another Word for Friendship?

Fanfics read:
Sonic space time paradox fixed (by 1Plot2Story3Editing)
The Titanic Sinks In Panic (by GothPrincess666)
69 Hues the Dazed Knee 9 Wars of the Gears (by BusterManwomb)
69 Hues of Mindfork FNF reads FNF reads FNF reads Game Grumps (by BusterManwomb)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Beth, Sam

Well, we’ve got a new curse. A curse that hosts just can’t be free on Wednesday nights anymore. We had to cancel the live reading on this one but spent at least some-ish hours over the weekend that followed doing makeup recordings. So I cobbled together this episode from a session with Val, Stevo, Beth and Sam, and then another session with the core five. We read two bustermanwomb things, a titanic thing, and a sonic thing that Logan wouldn’t shut up about because he wants to name Stevo’s kid after it for some reason. It’s quite a trip to follow, and I can say that because I’ve been editing it for about 30 hours now!

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/09/27/season-9-episode-12-oh-no-much-sex/

Season 9 Episode 12 – OH NO! MUCH SEX!

Fanfics read:
In Which There is Little Dialogue (by Misaki_kaito)
Maybe It Has a Heart (by residenteviluwu)
Magic McCree (by Cawaiiey)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Hippie, Wolfboy

The curse continues! Unbelievably we could only get Stevo, Logan and Val for the first recording with our guests Hippie and Wolfboy. David did a small makeup a few days later but Shawn was nowhere to be heard. Well, whatever. The show goes on, as it does. We read about Teen Wolf (don’t see why everyone loves it so damn much), Resident Evil (incomplete but we could see where it went and wish it went farther, Tyrant in nurse outfit supah sexy), and then Overwatch as a magic stripper or something. Note to self: never get into word origination arguments with any hosts. Ever.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/10/05/season-9-episode-13-nippleneck/

Season 9 Episode 13 – Nippleneck

Fanfics read:
Monkey Business (by vexxtrak)
Olympian Gluteal Chokehold (by Eroppai (FalstaffKisaragi))
Phoenix had to suck a LOT of dick to get his badge back (by gumdickshoe)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Troy, Ms. Pouty

Stevo and David finally got together again in person after five years of not seeing each other! We got proof of it, too! Maybe someday we’ll be unlazy enough to put together the travelogue we kinda sorta maybe filmed for like six minutes of total material, but hey, it still counts as evidence! But y’all don’t care about that. Y’all are here for the awful and the dirty, right? Yeah, you are.

Troy and Ms. Pouty return again (I can’t believe we haven’t scared them off yet). First, the core dudes read about Overwatch (this was before the Blitzchung thing, trust me, we probably wouldn’t have read it after that bullshit happened). Then, we talked about the semen capacity of primates. THEN we read the next story, and ruined Keijo with some buttsexy stuff. Finally, we completely decimate Phoenix Wright with a cheesy (literally, it’s about smegma) maybe sexy story. Clean your foreskin, bros. Also don’t keep your smega in cravats. That’s terrible.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/10/18/season-9-episode-14-lousy-smarch-orgasm/

Season 9 Episode 14 – Lousy Smarch Orgasm

Fanfics read:
Goosebumps You Choose the Scare – Welcome to Sand Hands (Botnik)

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn, Troy, Mike (Kinesis)

Dangit, Troy! How dare you come on two episodes back to back! That’s taking full advantage of the fact that you’re recruiting so many more terrible people for this terrible show, and even offering to host them or use your equipment to make it happen! Stop being such a good person!

Yes, Troy comes back again and this time brings his friend Mike (Kinesis) for our first ever choose your own adventure-style reading! Botnik’s seminal Welcome to Sand Hands is read by the crew and guests the whole time. How many times will they die? Will mom EVER stop reading our books? Was it a smart idea to bite the magician?! Tune in to find out!

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/10/25/season-9-episode-15-spudman/

Season 9 Episode 15 – Spudman

Fanfics read:
Don’t tuck that furkey (by Sparrow)
you got that medicine i need (by dilithiumcrystallight)
Dick or Treat (by ultimateparadox)
Let’s forget the Treat (by bkitsune)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan Shawn, Mana, Gorejuice

Troy didn’t end up getting on fire in NBA Jam because he wasn’t on the show for three weeks in a row! Sorry, Troy. You’ll just have to keep fighting for it. This week, Val is gone the whole time, and David is gone after, like, ten minutes. But Stevo Shawn and Logan are joined by Mana and Gorejuice to read one story about a turkey and then three stories about Voltron. There’s a lot of ass eating going on. I mean, a LOT of ass eating. It’s kind of ridiculous. Tasty treats for Halloween, everyone!

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/11/01/season-9-episode-16-sgood-avocado-ass/

Season 9 Episode 16 - Sgood Avocado Ass

Fanfics read:
Embarrassing Words (by AlphaShae)
Naughty Bits (by Yarsian)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Riley, Moguta

Gotta keep this description short. We read about One Piece. We read about Dr. Who. We did the Yeti scream. Riley and Moguta joined us. Wow.

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/11/08/season-9-episode-17-im-an-athiest-dumbass-and-i-certainly-dont-worship-your-dick/

Season 9 Episode 17 – I’m an athiest, dumbass, and I certainly don’t worship your dick

Fanfics read:
Pizzapoon (by ZoisiteMoon)
Pizzapoon 2 Electric Boogaloo (by ZoisiteMoon)
Pizzapoon III The Threequel (by ZoisiteMoon)
Kong (by Porngirl180)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

And we finished the Season YAAAAAAAAAY!

Season 9 draws to a close with the epic trilogy of Pizzapoon. The core hosts read their firsts (and probably their lasts) Uncle Grandpa fanfics. We had some more time at the end so we read about a normal human-sized woman getting a giant gorilla off. You know these summaries don’t do a single bit of justice to the show so just listen, ya know?

Season 10’s sign up sheet will be open until December 4th, 2019. The sheet is up on our website under the “Be a Guest” tab. The Season will start on December 11th, then go away for two weeks because of prior obligations and then Christmas. After that, Season 10 Episode 2 comes back on the first day of 2020. We look forward to growing into double digits with you all!

To grab the fanfics and more, go to https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2019/11/22/season-9-episode-18-the-detroit-tigers-would-be-less-popular-if-they-were-the-detroit-barbed-penises/

Season 9 Episode 18 - The Detroit Tigers would be less popular if they were Detroit Barbed Penises

The drunken terrible fanfiction podcast that you never knew you needed (and your mother warned you about).

Join Stevo, David, Logan, Val, and Shawn as the Nighthorse crew takes on terribly terrible (erotic?) fanfiction weekly, accompanied by guests from the community, fanfiction writers, and random people we roped into suffering with us. Loose drinking rules for whenever you make a mistake, and you can see how this goes downhill quickly!

Episodes are recorded and broadcasted weekly on Wednesdays at 8PM EST, with edited versions posted on Fridays. 

To listen to live episodes, submit a fanfiction for us to read, put in a request to be a guest on the show, join our Discord, and a ton of other stuff, head on over to http://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/