'hey everyone hates you and there not wrong to feel that way'

Tiny Voice

nostalgia.

Exploring the ways of the new gear addition. The Arturia MicroFreak.

The Memories We Never Had

They say I’ve gone mad.
But who hasn't, I ask you —
when the sky forgets your name
and the pavement remembers your every fall?

I speak to the wind because it answers.
You don’t, you passersby with your plastic faces,
your beautiful clothes stitched tight over the growing silence.
You think you’re living?
You think that’s life?

Life is clawing your way through the fog with nothing but your fingernails.
Life is screaming at God with a mouth full of blood and laughter.
Life is refusing to become what they’ve already written for you.

I used to be one of you —
numb, careful, waiting for something soft to save me.
But nothing came.
Only mirrors.
And the mirrors lied.

I have loved in the dark.
I have slept on benches beside saints and ghosts.
I have swallowed pills of hope and pissed them out in alleyways.

You call it madness —
I call it clarity.

The loneliness?
It’s a blessing in disguise, a sword in the soul,
a gift you unwrap in pain.
Yes, it burns.
But it shows you who you are when no one’s looking.

We’re all changing, all the time.
Some of us melt.
Some of us ignite.

I chose fire.
I chose the unpaved road,
the broken compass,
the voices that don’t shut up when you close your eyes.

So mock me.
Fear me.
Forget me.

But remember this —
I lived louder than your gods ever dared to whisper.

confession of a madman

Rising Tide

too late to be sane

live modular session recorded with Zoom H1, Post mastered in Ableton Live 12

Mystic Forest

174 Hz - Grounding Healing Frequencies

Tonight's SoundCloud upload is more of a sample / demo / loop thing than a finished piece. A couple of years ago I made this little Western-sounding guitar loop and I think it sounds cool enough to add to the lot. It's looped 3 times, with the effects changing several times along the way. 

From 2023, here's "Prairie Wolf". 𓃦 

#SoundCloud ☁️

Prairie Wolf

Prairie Wolf 𓃦 (Electric Guitar Looper Demo, Recorded 2023)

At the Dock's Edge

I left the apartment. not because I had anywhere to go, but because I couldn’t breathe in it anymore. The walls were too familiar, the silence too personal. Out on the street, at least the stink of gasoline and strangers’ curses gave the illusion that something was still happening , that the world hadn’t completely died.

Though maybe it had. Maybe it’s just lying there, rotting quietly, and we’re all just worms with cigarettes in our teeth and traces of lost time carved into our foreheads.
 
At a café that never smelled like coffee, I sat by the window to watch other people move. Life was always somewhere else. Women passed by with dead eyes, and men who looked like they’d lost something they didn’t even know how to name.

There was a letter in my pocket. I hadn’t opened it. Not because I was afraid. I already knew what it said. 

I was tired of myself. Not even the suffering, it had long since dulled, but that thick, oily emptiness that spills out of you when you don’t even have the strength to long for anything anymore.

I wanted to go home, but there was no home. I wanted to sleep in arms I’d never known. Maybe this is someone else’s dream, someone sleeping peacefully while I drown.

learn to drown

instagram.com/bienbienbienbienbien
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1Q1YaJhj7mePPO9K2xtsTi?si=s92hSYQpREO7phI6cW1nmQ

learn to drown

FTBN

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