Deep Thoughts

oblivion

Thoughts over thoughts then feelings over feelings and the result of it.
yes i think about you, all the time... 
..but, 
yeah, 
lets just...
...forget about all'a that.

Lucifer

Slow Motion Engineering

Buy the album!

There’s a strange weight to the truth when it arrives too late—like hearing the echo of a song long after the music has ended. It lingers, but it no longer belongs to you. I think that’s how it feels when people slip away.

You can’t reach back. You can’t unlive the silence. People fade, and you are left holding only the outline of what they once meant to you.

There’s a cruelty in how memory works. The faces blur first, the sound of their voice grows fainter. Yet the ache stays sharp. Regret doesn't scream—it whispers, persistent and low, reminding you of the moments you let slip through your fingers.

The times you could have shown up, could have spoken, could have been something more than a spectator in your own life.

And the worst part? The world moves on. The streets stay loud, the days keep passing, and you are the only one still haunted by the ghosts of what was left undone.

what was left (winter letters 3.1)

There was a time when the world was quiet. Or maybe it wasn’t the world—maybe it was just me. I remember the silence, the kind that wasn’t empty but full, the kind that settled softly like dusk over a slow-moving river. Back then, my mind was still a place I could rest in, not a storm I had to survive.

It must have started as a whisper, a small ripple in the stillness, something I thought would pass. But it grew until it became everything. Now, the quiet feels like something I dreamed, something too distant to be real. I chase it, reach for it in the rare moments when the chaos slows.

And I am left here, a  drift in the wind, unable to remember what it felt like to simply be.

Sometimes, late at night, when the world is half-asleep, I almost hear it again. A memory of silence, pressed between heartbeats, between the ticking of the clock and the sigh of the wind against the glass. But it never stays. The storm always finds its way back, tearing through my thoughts, scattering them like leaves in a wind I cannot stop.

I wonder - was I ever truly at peace, or was it only the absence of knowing what would come? And if I was, if that silence was real, is it lost forever? Or is it waiting for me somewhere, just beyond the horizon?

I remember the silence

The belief that I’ve already lost (Someone you love is gone x Hachiman)

too late to be sane

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/3vLRWVTKBT2nmMUSG3YjxK?si=4628b4a1b052418d
APPLE MUSIC: https://music.apple.com/us/album/it-hasnt-for-me-single/1829694936

LYRICS: But why? Why is it that we have to be so afraid of death? Are we only alive because we don't wanna die? Does something good ever come from living? Because there is nothing for me. And all of the days I've lived, nothing good has ever happened to me.

It Hasn't for Me

Derek Carter (KapTep) about this release:

Ambient music seems to be fascinated by nature, oceans and the sky. For this KapTep release I wanted to explore the sky and more importantly all we can’t see, the millions of signals and mysteries that it hides.

I wanted to leave room for the songs to breathe and allow plenty of open spaces within them. At times these compositions may seem empty, that is by design. Although the current environment is to pick a track or two add them to your playlist.

I hope you will spend 49 minutes and listen to this as a body of work, as it was recorded to be listened to in one continuous sitting. In addition to the 6 original tracks there are two wonderful remixes added by Arrival In Eden, and Sacred Seeds.

Numbers Station – I’ve always been fascinated with them. The mystery and intrigue.

Naming the Sky – Melancholy drifting and not a care in the world.

LA Scanner – I simply love the voyeur nature of a cheap scanner.

Cold Luck Moon – Blurred images, sounds and emotions. Plus, three words that don’t mean anything together as a title.

I Need Light – In a world of conflict, doom scrolling and fear… I need light. In fact, I think we all do.

One Hundred Miles Until Sunrise – Have you ever driven somewhere and not remembered a second of it? Totally sober, auto-pilot. This is your soundtrack.

Produced and mixed by Derek Carter (KapTep)
Mastered by Dionis Afonichev (Dionisaf)
Cover picture by Derek Carter
Cover design by Dionis Afonichev

Naming the Sky

LA Scanner

it was written

silent impact

We are meant to fall.
To lose our balance, to wander without knowing why.
The straight path teaches nothing,
it keeps the soul clean, but empty.

In the void, we stumble.
We make small, imperfect circles,
draw maps that dissolve as soon as they are made.
It feels like failure,
but it is only movement,
the way the heart learns its own rhythm.

There is no clarity without confusion,
no arrival without the ache of being lost.

To fall is to meet yourself without disguise.
To stand again, not purified,
but real,
stitched together by every wrong turn,
every silence,
every moment you thought you would never return from.

to fall

vånda - guide 2009

Blue Moon Wish, Guaranteed to Come True

melotomelo

instagram.com/bienbienbienbienbien
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1Q1YaJhj7mePPO9K2xtsTi?si=s92hSYQpREO7phI6cW1nmQ

too late to be sane

FTBN

Related tracks