During a recent trip to Barcelona I was throw into the company of a Mr Karl Hildebrandt. During our conversations is became quite clear that the man had a deep knowledge of perversions, one of which being the 'Roman Shower', a practice not suitable to be discussed in public. This track has nothing whatsoever in common with the perversion or Mr Hildebrandt, other than if you spend too long in the company of them you'll probably end up being sick.

This is Roman Shower...

*hurls*

Roman Shower Take One (not Literally)

This track is called Smacky Merlin. It's dedicated to those Smacky Merlins that look like Catweazle and shout random things in the street, then fight imaginary Seagulls in their heads while we all walk past on our way to work pretending we can't see them. We think they are a bit crazy, but they could be saving us all with their Wizardry. Probably not. They're probably just Smacky Merlins.

Another Smacky Merlin

It has a rhythm, yet somehow it doesn't. This will (probably) be the last track I do for a while that sounds like angry robots having sex before try a few things that are more musical. 

Illogical Rhythm

This is 'That Shallot'. It's a story about an Allium that went wandering into Eurobeat 2000 during the early 90's and came out 25 years later determined to make something that sounder similar. I helped him (Alan the Allium) make this track. He didn't make me cry. Or money.

That Shallot

It's not 'Your Song' or 'Wonderwall' and I'm no Elton or Noel, but what I do is make odd noises rather than palatable ones and this one was made with someone in mind in the same way, but with less wet lyrics. This odd noise is Mevicki and it's for me Vicki. According to Bob Geldof the greatest gift they'll get this year is life. Sadly for me Vicki the greatest gift she'll get this year is Mevicki. 

Mevicki

This track is dedicated to all those that get autocorrected when they try to describe me on text message.



Ducking Aunt

Threw this together this afternoon. Slow and moody. Like me. I'd got out of the swing of finishing anything, so thought I'd spend two or three hours on something basic then upload it. This is the result.

Sod's Opera

Clockwork Storm

So today I felt it time to venture into doing a cheesy remix. I read an article the other day that suggested home producers should steer well clear of doing cheesy remixes of already famous tunes, so I decided to do one. 

Rather than over do it, I decided I should try to stay as faithful to the original as I could and let the beauty of the original carry it.

I'm sure Dolly will be wetting her knickers with excitement.

Jolene Remix

Purely a test, needs fills, a bigger kick drum and some proper mastering...

Andrew J Bartlett

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