I find myself at a crossroads once again, trapped in a cycle where I'm using distractions to dull the pain I know I have to confront. It’s like life has pulled me back to the starting line, even though I’ve learned, I’ve grown, and I know the value of self-respect and the lessons that come from facing hardship head-on. Yet, despite this awareness, I keep choosing the familiar escape, knowing it only pushes me further away from healing. I want it to stop—it's draining, and degrading, and I'm afraid of where this path will lead if I don’t change. Not long ago, I tasted what life could feel like on the other side—peace, happiness, a glimpse of something better. A Taste of... Heaven.

A Taste of Heaven

UNDER BETTER CIRCUMSTANCES is me trying to make sense of everything I’ve been through. A lot of these songs came from moments where I felt like music was the only thing keeping me together. I’ve had to figure out a lot on my own — how to keep going, how to stay grounded, how to deal with pain without letting it swallow me. I think about how different my life could’ve been under better circumstances. I question whether I really want love or if I’m just searching for something to fill the void. This album is about that search — for peace, for purpose, and for myself. It’s not perfect, but it’s honest. And that’s all I’ve ever tried to be.

UNDER BETTER CIRCUMSTANCES

Dead 2 Me

Chaos

Second Guessing

We'll Be Fine

Feel So Right

Take It Away

second guessing (ft. Unreal)

some finished, some unfinished.... every track on this album is from a time before I learned how to mix my vocals very well. each song is part of its own story, each one made with a vision. In no specific order, enjoy.

is this the start (?)

whatuuugottasay?

"Ataraxia" is about the duality we all experience—the constant push and pull between chaos and peace. The name itself means a state of serene calmness, but the Chaos Star on the cover flips that idea on its head. It’s not just about calmness or chaos on their own—it’s about living in the space where the two meet. Life isn’t perfect, and sometimes the beauty comes from learning to navigate the storm while still finding those rare moments of stillness.

For me, the album represents that struggle. Each song dives into a different layer of that tension. There are moments of vulnerability where I’m reflecting on my inner battles, and then there are moments where I’m embracing the chaos, letting it fuel my creativity. I wanted this album to feel raw and real, like a reflection of the human experience—messy, beautiful, and full of contradictions.

It’s also about the journey toward balance. A lot of people think balance means eliminating the negative, but I think it’s more about learning to coexist with it. The chaos teaches you things. The peace gives you clarity. Together, they shape who you are.

So, if you listen to "Ataraxia," you’ll hear a little bit of everything: emotional highs and lows, introspective lyrics, and soundscapes that move between haunting and tranquil. It’s my way of saying, “Yeah, life is complicated, but there’s something beautiful in that complexity.”

greed

flaws > perfection

PIPE DOWN

DOWN FOR TOO LONG

YOUR MOVE

GIVE ME A SHOT

WHITE NOISE (ft. Kitz)

TRADE IT FOR MY LIFE

TRUST ISSUES

SH2FP

ATTRACTION

WAYS OF THE PAST

NEXT TO U

TELL ME YOUR SECRETS

JUST A KID

IS YOUR HEART STILL IN THIS

SAY SUM (ft. ilyyjasiah)

KEEP TRYING [p. Cabernett]

When hope gets dry
I turn to you to be my wings
I turn to you to be my wings
When I can't float away
When the weights too much and I'm starting to sink
When I feel no love will you still be the same

No I can't do this
Rain coming down heart bleeding out with pain I'm fluent
This life I chose it's a lonely road but swear to God I'll prove it
And the side you don't see crazy
Changed my life like a whole one eighty
Soon enough I'll be coasting and you'll know it's sentimental
Shit I'm locking in my mental
Yeah I see the signs but its hard to turn left so quick

Down to the wire like the end of the wick
I Got no time left for saving
Watched it burn right on the pavement
Symbolic but I hate it
How will I shine when I feel so jaded

You just say the word and ill be there no theres no waiting
You just say the word ill grab my whip and hit the pavement
You just say the word and ill be there no theres no waiting
You just say the word ill grab my whip and hit the pavement


Will you be the same as the pain I carry too
Do you feel the same
Cause I'm outta things to lose
You could be the change that I'm seeking
Maybe it's my time close my eyes never blinking

Still have faith I'm silent
Face my fears I'm tryna
Change for the better I'm trying
Tears hit the floor can't you see that I'm dying
Yeah yeah still have faith I'm silent
Face my fears I'm tryna
Change for the better I'm trying
Tears hit the floor can't you see that I'm dying
Yeah yeah

Baby will you be the same
Cross my heart I swear to god
I show my love like it's part of the plot and
Now I carry this pain cause it's all that I got
Yeah
Baby will you be the same
Cross my heart I swear to god
I show my love like it's part of the plot and
Now I carry this pain cause it's all that I got
Yeah

When hope gets dry
I turn to you to be my wings
I turn to you to be my wings
When I can't float away
When the weights too much and I'm starting to sink
When I feel no love will you still be the same

You just say the word and ill be there no theres no waiting
You just say the word ill grab my whip and hit the pavement
You just say the word and ill be there no theres no waiting
You just say the word ill grab my whip and hit the pavement

Gavin Ross

Pinned to spotlight

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