2018 hasn't been great for me. It's so easy to feel like everyone else is doing great, and that even if they went through a hard time, they've instantly grown from their hardships, thanks to social media.

I've always been the kind of person to deny my emotions the permission to be, as a coping mechanism of sorts. It's been a year of facing situations where I've had to stand face to face with vulnerability. The first time I realized the extent to which I crave validation. How much I crave affection. Having trouble giving more of myself to those approaching me, and giving too much of myself to those who seem out of reach. Realizing that I tend to hold onto to the past because it's familiar, and gives me a sense of purpose. Fearing the moment that solitude, something I seek and enjoy, turns into loneliness. Coming to terms with depression and anxiety. Stress-eating and gaining a shit ton of weight and then stressing about that haha. Everything I do is geared towards knowing myself better, in one way or another, but introspection and realization can be painful sometimes. I'm fully aware of the fact that this will make me a much stronger human being. But right now, I wanna give my feelings the validation it deserves. Not every bad experience leads to something good. Perhaps yes, in the long run, but that doesn't make things any better in the present. And that's okay. Validating what I feel and giving it the time it needs to move on.

I wrote this song after a rough night with someone, whose friendship I valued dearly at the time. Recorded it over the past few days, and filmed some stuff on my phone and put together a lyric video to go with it. Hope you enjoy "Fall".  <3

Guitar, Bass - Mark Raggio
Trumpet - Jeremy Alvarez

Fall (Demo)

Gāia.