Lo-Fi Hip Hop/Chill 1

it's embarrassing sometimes
when the wanting shows.
how i just need someone's hands on mine.
how i just want a soft voice to call me out of sleep,
somebody to drink coffee with while the sun wakes up.
i am so good at being alone until i remember what it's like
to be loved and then i am aching all over again,
and then i am calling you up in the middle of the day and asking for
something impossible. [couldn't you come over?]
couldn't you pretend like i'm not altogether too much,
just for this one afternoon?

i am sad again.
for a while i got to be someone different-
cool girl, fun girl! always up for anything girl.
like playing dress up i wore the persona of someone
easy to love, easy to hold onto. easy to wait
until you were ready. now the air is icing over and
i cannot be this person anymore-
maybe i was never her or maybe she died
at the beginning of the month,
when the air was static silent for ten long days. 
i am sad again, and the afternoons are getting darker.
i won't ask you stay through this tired and heavy winter.

and suddenly, my friends are gone or they're telling me
i had changed. suddenly, my desire to get up in the morning faded.
my grades got lower. my room stayed messy. my followers unfollowed.
my hair had split ends. my cheeks were the hills that 
tears would run over more and more. my imagination faded.
art wasn't fun anymore. i didn't care for the sweet company
between hand and pencil. it took too much effort to read a
book. my attention span weakened. my mother hated me.
life hated me. and the wanting showed.

the truth is, i'm a lonely person.
it doesn't matter how many friends i have or
how many times i am told that i am loved. 
i will sit down at 12AM when the world is quiet
and i am surrounded by no one. or at 12PM
when the world is bustling and i cannot count
the faces around me. and i feel the same lonely. 

and when the wanting shows sometimes i am 19 standing
in the kitchen wondering how you forgot to have breakfast
and lunch today, how you will exit the teenage in 47 Fridays,
how you used to love watermelons four summers ago and
now you can't stand the sight of it, how there were floors
that you saw you wipe them clean off your own tears once,
how you changed your favorite coffee recipe last summer
because your best friend liked it and you guys haven't
talked since then, how the new book you're reading was never
really your type but you love it, how you hated your hair for
nine winters, how the windows of your new house are bigger, how you
feel bad for hurting them, how many making mistakes is okay, how maybe
you go out today, how the wind feels too right whenever you snuggle
into your bed, how you were seventeen and all the winter ache
wanted you to open your kitchen drawers and look for warmth. how
then you didn't know someday you'll be 19 standing in the kitchen
wondering if you forgot to put sugar in your coffee again.

and when the wanting shows, the shame of being seen consumes me.

when the wanting shows

Picture by David Tan 
flickr.com/photos/dtanist

Ivebeentryin´

Weekend Mornings

malchance from Flofilz taken out from the Pallet Tunes Volume 2.
Follow https://soundcloud.com/flofills
Released on the whole compilation on 25/03/16.
Download the whole compilation for free : 
http://www.mediafire.com/download/z586solckceaxbn/Pallet+Tunes+Volume+2.zip

Free Download

FloFilz - malchance

warmth.

short-lived

Order "Cenário” via..
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Cenário

Dulce

buy/stream album

Dulce (taken from "Cenário" LP, 2016)

thank you all for 2000 followers. this past year as been truly crazy, and i appreciate all the support (:

snowfall

clouds

How to figure out what you want

Mittensさん - Autumn Night

dummy: https://soundcloud.com/dummyfeelings

download: https://fcjph.bandcamp.com/track/coffee-shop-cutie-w-dummy-feelings
spotify: open.spotify.com/album/14AdiG9VQC71MQRid4dcIw

coffee shop cutie (w/ dummy feelings)

Family picture

I promise i care much more than i show @furino
Bump to this @bbluknight
Falling In Love Pt 2 @redpestbeats
Paper Dreams @ablelity
Lol idk @frequency-sc
Reminisce @nightx7
How we met @imedda

Summer Tape

kｏｎｔｅｋｓ - Waterfront

On YouTube, the channel "Dreamwave" has this titled as "Boaa - Angels" but I'm pretty sure it's "Bao" and I have no idea what happened to Bao's SoundCloud so here's what's left of it

Bao - Angels

‘castaway’ is available on every streaming services


Contact : DM

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ｇａｒｂａ９

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