little boy on your own saying you've never felt so alone
don't you remember a year ago
in your room on your knees status update heart pounding pleads
can someone save me tomorrow
is redemption free to talk each raindrop checked the route before it's walk
they land on your cheeks like they always cared
the clouds above are christmas decorations dispensed with after happy occasions
and now the streets are scared
you thirst for red blood cells and left brains to leak out of kitchen drains
the day you were taught to lock the front door you grew so old
years flash and then cave in and you design an ocean in which you can swim
but when the script says breathe you just choke
your hollow heart is a road sign, warning don't let anyone in for some time
fuck that you can't close up shop and keep sky wide eyes

just cos i grow tremendous wings and save everyone i've ever known
i am not an angel i just broke and need to build gold into my bones
in the morning i find i can't always decide what my mind keeps
the king of darkness sits down next to me sits down next to me and weeps and weeps

a nightmare they call reality and now you're stuck in it filming a documentary
you lean on someone else's love like a streetlamp and suddenly it's not there
paint that word until you see the posing letters resist and the ink fly free
you can't stick your heart on a page and keep it in safe care
romeo creates a self help kit and shoots juliet when she comes to visit
true love is truest the moment before you utter it's name
we make up heaven in the playground until we grow old and we're laughing can't tell the difference between the sounds
of fighter jets, morningbirds and hurricanes
don't go for walks don't see anyone don't open your mouth don't listen to this song
you are not a robot and you will not perform
upgrade to a better thought remember all those dead demons you fought
don't slump as if you've never stood victorious on battlefields before

just cos i grow tremendous wings and save everyone i've ever known
i am not an angel i just broke and need to build gold into my bones
in the morning i find i can't always decide what my mind keeps
the king of darkness the king of darkness sits down next to me and weeps
in the morning i find i can't always decide what my mind keeps
the king of darkness sits down next to me sits down next to me and weeps and weeps



Romeoscaping

you're about to fade from my heart
i hope you're ready cos i've been prepared from the start
you just dress up yourself in ribbons of gold
as if that will keep you from growing old

you asked...
did you ever make me feel alive tonight
did you ever make me feel alive
did you ever make me feel alive tonight
did you ever make me feel alive
not quite. 

you're about to fade from my heart
i don't need you back at all, you don't deserve it at all
yeah give me back the keys, delete my name
i'll attack every second as if someone else is to blame

you asked...
did you ever make me feel alive tonight
did you ever make me wanna die
did you ever make me feel alive tonight
or did you just make me wanna die
did you ever make me feel alive tonight
i just think i made you wanna die
no you didn't make me really feel alive tonight
i'm so much more alive, i don't need you to try, yeah

you're about to fade from my heart
you were once star of the show and now you don't even know your part
just cos smoking kills, doesn't mean that i don't
you come near my loved ones and i'll make you wish...


Yrabout2fadefromMYheart

Not much to say really. Will Young is quite a good singer isn't he!? And I like this song of his. Done. 

Leave Right Now (Will Young Cover)

Verse 1:

Music is endless, haven't you heard, 
I've been revising the train tracks and the cry of a bird. 
Cry of a bird.

I lay down my open, broken thought,
Signs of the human heart when it's open to nought.
Open to nought.

Chorus 1:

I soothe my love, yeah it's worth enough, if I fall on and die.
I soothe my love, cos it's worth enough, if it falls I'll die. 

Verse 2:

You gotta believe me, when I gotta say,
Give me one second dad I'm just recording a song.
("Wait Dad") Recording... ("Okay, I'll just finish this then I'll go look").

And talking to God, when He don't wanna hear
Present my beating heart greed in my ears.
Greed in my ears.

Chorus 2:

Soothe my love, yeah it's worth enough, if I hide my heart and die.
I'll soothe my love, and I'll heal enough, to save you all and die.
If I need to make a, same mistake, it'll be worth it all once you cry.
If you hold me back, and you chain my stack, to the mall tower and high.

Verse 3:

The skies getting blue, and it's stepping off,
The plane brought it all the way it dropped it off.
Dropped it off. 

And the perfect right choice, that's right to make,
I can't seem to find it buried in the heartache.
Buried in the heartache. 


Express Everyone But Yourself

Featuring Mohammed Abdou and Ali Mahmood. For the Najm family. 

Well. I have seen the light. And it did say goodnight.
At least you found yourself. Free from all ill health.
And you have seen the end. At least you left a friend.
A son you called your own. I swear he'll never be alone.

I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.

You don't know my name. Though we're all the same.
Separated by names. We'll be reunited at the end of the game.
I'm just an energy. Don't know what's happening to me.
But I know where I'll end up. Until I get there I don't intend on fucking up.
If you want this sigh. I will have to cry. 
You know it will come true. Everything I've done for you.
Now the time has come. The time to have some fun.
You know our time runs low. I wouldn't have it any other way don't you know.

I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. And I'm gonna work...harder.
I'm gonna work hard. And I'm gonna play hard. You've got to work...harder.

Yes I did say: there's not a lot to say. 
Go and find your friends. Thank God it's not quite the end.
The end.

Resonate The Requiem (For Philip)

Might as well be. What they said it would be. December twenty first. He walked into the classroom, killed my kid first. Oh.
Might as well be. What they said would go down. It's like we built another Titanic. Just a lot of hot air, us talking about how it won't go down. It goes down. 
And I miss my child. The President told me the country feels my grief. But I feel nothing for my country. Don't really give a fuck what they feel about me. They can just fuck off. Fuck off.
Now this is close enough to. Ending my will to live. I'm still a mother of two. But I was once a mother of three. And now this mother of two wants to cut her wrists. Cut her wrists.
There were rumours outside. In the wind the wind like a growing tide. Something awful is about to be unfurled. Listen to me now this is close enough this is fucking close enough to the end of the world.
Close enough to. 

Don't give me that bullshit. Don't give me that hope and redemption.
Don't give me those lies you tell. Now's the time to come to attention.
You hold your family so close. Why don't God hold on to mine?
Don't just hold your loved one's close. Go out and take the first shot. Before they get again mine. They get again mine. 

Well you can play those violins so loud. And act like each rounds the grief fire. But all you're doing now. Is putting a billboard where there once was no sound. There was once was no sound. It was pure. And grief found it.
They say the people need hope like an advert. Take it like a pill before they go to sleep. But something like this don't need no songs to make me feel no better at all. No song's gonna make me feel better at all. No songs. Don't need no songs. No letters to console me. No friends or family. Nothing. Nothing. Let the planes fall. From the sky. Like Christmas decorations falling from the tree. While the family begins to fight. Let more towers fall. Let more planes hit us all. Let this empire joke lie crumble. Let it crumble. Crumble. Start again at zero. And who gives a fuck if we don't have the hope to carry on? It'll all be evened out once our lives are nothing but a ground zero. At least then we'll know how it felt. How it felt to know. How it felt to know. Your life will never be the same. You'll never once again feel hope.

My little boy I had a dream. On your birthday you turn 18. And I buy you a car the one that in your dreams you'd seen. That was my dream. To see that smile. To see that smile. To see that smile. To see that smile. 
My little boy you never got to turn 18. Now this dream is something that I don't need. But I don't wanna lose it, it's all I wanna see. I just fucking hope we don't make it. Fucking hope it we don't now make it to 2013. 

Don't give me that bullshit. Don't give me those lies. I don't have the patience. I don't take away your lies. 
Don't give me that bullshit. Don't try and put me to sleep. Cos I am awake with grief as I have ever been.
Don't give me that bullshit. Cos I am now immune. The sun come up. But in my heart it's just a cold dead moon.
Don't give me that bullshit. The pain it never ends. It's just sometimes you wake up and abandon your family and your friends. Cos everything ends. You kid yourself but nothing matters in the end. 

I miss you my beautiful boy. 



Christmas Day In Hell (for Nayyar)


how to love the destitute barista who takes off his glasses walks out of his job and into the stratosphere - lyrics

every whisper every ounce
tells me to go to her i will not pounce
what do sun rays tell me today
adverts from other worlds inspiration go away
(go away...go away...)

lilacs for the kids surprise them with smiles
the world's getting divorced from peace and love
watch out dawn seems to say you won't always be engulfed in day
walking through valleys of pure blue skies fill my greys
(my greys...my greys...)

time don't set me free
time why don't you let me
now time don't set me free
time why don't you let me be
walk through valleys of gold
and i do not know
i need to say something
believe in nothing
before my dirt turns to gold

the last man standing upon the shoulders of the clock
watching the hands move until he forces the hands to drop off
we'll be inspired at our most dead and tired
garage rock this is where god has dropped me off
death grows in the grass
i stood here for a year yeah for quite a while i couldn't move
tears run abandon the initial helpless emotion
what she told me ''it's over'' i can't remember if those were the words
and i sang to her our little song and she held back the tears told me to move on
weeks passed yeah the moment can't last the feeling clung
and as we speak and insist we're weak that moment that won't pass moves beneath our feet passes along as we speak
now i said in my head something that rang so true
no one's going to save me i even said it out loud until the tears ran out
now that was years ago and you've gotta know that since then yes i have moved on
but new heartbreaks remind you of the same taste and in that same garage i feel the same song
but i won't bend i'm a train track my friend and there are places the things inside of me need to go
and every time i'm tempted to stop the fight i hear cheers in the shadowy distance urge me on
towards a light can't always see it right but i've got a feeling i can translate it tonight
minutes locked keys brother you know me this is not the end of this song

time won't set me free
no time why won't let me
and days look like stock still books
and time won't let me 
i need to do what i was born to do
and i don't know how much i believe in it or you
but i once did trust a feeling that i must
live each second till i die
why oh why
why oh why
why oh why
why oh why
why oh why
why oh why
why oh why
why oh why

and it's not hopeless
and it's not hopeless
until it gets hopeless
yeah you can't take it
i just can't do it again
but i have seen it before
it ain't hopeless
been here and done that
i've been around this track
got the t shirt and all that
it's not hopeless
something about this ain't hopeless
something so beautiful amongst this
feels like this feeling never ends
abounding in loneliness
no one to help me through this
and i'm all alone in this
solitude ain't always bliss
what am i sposed to do with this
until i imagine
how much worse it could have been
and all of feelings get kinda thin
unvolved
involved in unravelling slowly
involved in unravelling slowly
involved in unravelling slowly
involved in unravelling slowly
it is so hopeless
a song's gonna save me this time
i need to save myself
don't know how to do that by myself
imagine it's not hopeless
one day it could be like that
one day is today
i categorically can say
the pain will never
go away
the pain will never go away

you are now running on reserve battery power
action is even being taken when you make the choice not to take any action at all

time why won't you save me
time i'm your friend why do you hate me
nothing but running out of you
is all i seem to be able to do
it's hopeless to see beyond
the horizon i can paint inside a song
but i can hear you listening to me
an audience member with a degree
in compassion and people studies
can you hear me
cos i can't hear me

(AND THAT'S HOW TO LOVE THE DESTITUTE BARISTA WHO TAKES OFF HIS GLASSES AND WALKS OUT OF HIS JOB AND INTO THE STRATOSPHERE.)

Stratosphere

Remember that time everyone in the world died!? Yeah...anyway...new piano song! Lyrics to be posted soon #dontaskme #noideawhatiwassinging

Every Loss


Baby in the blue dress, begins to get undressed.
Baby in the blue dress, she's cold. Cold. Cold.
Baby wants to die a sweet death, she wants to leave without me.
Baby in the blue dress, she don't know what to do about it. 

It's harder, when the lights go out.
And it's harder, when the lights shut off.
And I've lost my mind. It'll come back in time. 
And it's harder, when the lights come on.
And you ain't got spotlights or a song.
And the song we drink. Cos we're so thirsty to think. Is the song that won't set us free at all. 

Sing a song to keep me warm, I can hear the storm. 
Baby in the blue dress, in the bamboo cold take a rest. 
We won't be here forever. 

Well it's harder when you cannot choose, the worst of two evil blues.
Pop open the trunk, let me take a look. 
At who I used to be. I wish I just did set free. The future freedom in me. Yeah.

And it's harder, you cannot stop. 
And you're playing the game, and you check the clock. 
And your friends have gone, but you've still got business to attend to. 
The afterlife. Has been sold out for a while. But we've got spare tickets for you to get in next time. 

Baby in the blue dress, in the snow she gets undressed.
Baby in the blue dress, I still love you but only in my dreams and so much less.
So much less. 
So much less.
So much less. 



Baby In The Blue Dress

Garageband and no good mics has become a tiresome standard requirement for recording but at this point on Friday evening, I was a bit drunk and much Louis CK was about to be watched and Christopher Mortemore was laying down some nice ideas on Tom Davey's kit in my living room and there was no other choice but to press record before the idea vanished in the ether. I had a capo somewhere...God I hope I remember where. 

GEDU88