on being bad at selling myself compared to a friend who sees me more objectively

New Recording 181 on being a bad explainer of me

emerging from the interchange of love and attempts at productive kindness and investment in cooperation and reputation

New Recording 181 love and choice are real

Geoff Audio Message To Andrew 12.27.21

processing a serious crush opens and awakens the heart-holes through which i address you on subjects like art and money and belief and the kinship of passionate souls who believe in themselves and commit to making a career of self-evisceration and transcendence leading to service and communion like workplaces and professionalization as it's organized today can't do for you

New Recording 236 violence does not need to be

talking to myself about a crush across the world who's married with a child but we have a beautiful romantic bond and have agreed to open the floodgates and let it all out & it doesn't have to destroy our lives: it can be unlike all the tussles and battles that almost ended me, almost sent me...where? to a full-time job and loving the Wall Street Journal and making sure my investments are OK. I'd rather be an artist; and maybe there is no "being an artist", there is only making art and throwing yourself into the constant self-transformation required of the artist's way

New Recording 244 monday after bachelor party weekend

went on a tear-open rampage to the center of my glowing, after rigorous ballet class with seven older ladies—a dose of discipline and kindness, a respite from my masculine self-laceration campaign in my office like usual, opening up landscapes wider, realizing the form of opening up and letting words flow out and living in this golden blooming of eternity and truth and a new way of doing things

New Recording 244 step one of today's madness

fascinating scintillating blast of melted copper outpouring from my volcanic snout perturbed about wanderlust and sanctions and being vilified in the press by the suited up armored cars of ridiculous professionals on the speaking circuit versus me in pajamas at home having a conniption two weeks from foreclosure in solidarity with all losers who keep believing in themselves and forcing the world to meet them realizing it was always theirs and this is just morning fever desperation a hazard of the modern economy where labor and capital have decoupled and the emperor has no clothes and it's just bare screaming from hungry skeletons who refuse to go down

New Recording 245 potent critical explosion

leaving Sonoma, California, in the night going "home" after a gig where I write poems for party guests—it was a wedding so of course the feels were high, and my life was clearly opposite everything I watched unfold; my love life is a rocket ship, all stages of flight and losing the charger, the blast-off box falls into the ocean which later will cushion the falling astronaut

New Recording 245 my mess, for Jessie, because she asked

talking out of my broken heart and open soul as usual about pain points including love and housing and the banality of mastering and understanding my voice and sound which is a low descent and eventual uptick and swing back to collaboration and giving ~ good enough to pay for but who pays? guided by questions; someone might help without my asking, probably not; how long can this go on? all the way? further? no backstop just patience and waiting and dissatisfaction and rage and wanting, terrible wanting, and form: endings, restarts, again tomorrow today is out of date and dated not modern; kids are new

New Recording 255 clear thinking about sh1t feelings

i suppose self-actualization and struggle for righteousness and integrity, even if with a religious overtone, is just grist for the mill and Entertainment for those listening and watching at home or on the go, since we are all a part of the self trying to emerge and be good and worthy of the lives we are living ... maybe later i will relisten (reliant) (register) to these recordings and use them as lyrics, ideas, notes, sparks for new essays and poems; it's been a hell of a ride, i am publishing more now in places i can be paid and supported financially so i can continue to imagine my dream and waking life, to integrate the soul into the output, and somehow create a bubble of safety, security and resources around me--yes, teamwork; a writer is a world trapped in a person; everyone who knows me knows i can get out, but the getting out is daily, crossing the threshold hemming me in, emergence

find me @gplewis everywhere

Geoffrey Lewis

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