More on what we talked about:

- How did O.M. get her start writing about polyamory and relationships?
- So what's the difference for O.M. between polyamory and monogamy? For her, polyamory is much more practical - it's unrealistic to expect that one person is going to fulfill you entirely forever, and it's possible to feel deep love and devotion for more than one person at a time, she says. 
- O.M. believes polyamory is beneficial in the way that partners are able to express their attractions and feelings for others. Without secrets and deception, those involved don't feel lied to or betrayed, and often, the betrayal hurts more than the actual act of cheating!
- An avid believer that each relationship is unique, O.M. stresses that what works for one couple will not necessarily work for another - the key factors to making it work are communication, honesty, and integrity in any relationship.
- So what if you find yourself or your partner being attracted to another person? As O.M. believes, it's natural! The important thing is to talk about it honest and express fears openly, for both polyamorous  and monogamous relationships alike. This will help build intimacy and make you closer to your partner.
- What does O.M. recommend to build good communication? Invest in your relationship(s) and make it as strong as possible, never try to protect your partner by deceiving them, and don't use judgmental language, she says.
- She suggests using "I" statements - saying "I felt hurt" rather than "You hurt me" sounds less accusatory and allows you to take ownership of your own feelings.
- Engage in conversations about intimate topics in a safe space when both parties are feeling content and happy, rather than when you're in a space of anger or fear.

O.M. Grey Talks Polyamory & the Importance of Communication in Relationships

 Dr. Jenn, also a writer for GetLusty for Couples, is an inspiration to ladies. We met her at CatalystCon, and since have been in a flurry publicizing the amazing things she's doing to save the relationships of couples everywhere.

More about on what we talked about

*  What drew Dr. Jenn to the human sexuality aspect of sociology? A self-proclaimed "good girl" when she was in college, Dr. Jenn joined the Sexual Health Peer Educators to become comfortable with public speaking and her interests in sex, sexual health, and power dynamics in gender evolved from there.
*  What are girls taught versus what are boys taught growing up, says Dr. Jenn, presents a problematic power dynamic for women as it puts women at a disadvantage with less freedom surrounding sexuality. Society fosters negative and shameful feelings about sexuality, when it should really be open and widely discussed!
*  What are some of the biggest issues Dr. Jenn's seen for couples? In younger couples, technology and social media becomes a factor in harboring jealousy, while in older couples there's the issue of boredom and difference in desires between genders.
*  To cover both the younger couple's and the older couple's problems, Dr. Jenn suggests creating new habits, like weekly check-ins to discuss intimacy and topics they're working on as a couple.
*  What are the benefits to a holistic approach in talking about sexuality? There are many layers to human emotional logic, Dr. Jenn believes; delving into deeper aspects of a person's psyche allows you and others/your partner to better understand the beliefs and experiences that make you you.
*  How do you learn to boldly talk about sexuality in an open way? Look at it as a homework assignment, Dr. Jenn says, and agree each week to bring one new thing to your sex life. This will create a structure to make it less awkward and uncomfortable to talk about sex.

Find out more at http://www.getlusty.com!


Podcast! Dr. Jenn on Great Relationships & Gender Dynamics

- Where did Dan & Jennifer get their start? They began by creating an online dating site which evolved into online love and sex advice.
- How did they meet? At work! Dan & Jennifer both worked in technology and IT before becoming a couple and transitioning to the world of love and sex.
- A fun exercise Dan & Jennifer recommend for couples to help with communication? Write down things you want to experiment with sexually with your partner, put them in a "fantasy box," and occasionally pull them out to try.
- With such busy schedules, how do Dan & Jennifer make time for romance? By scheduling a weekend away. It is better to have quality sex when you can find the time than to have rushed sex everyy night, they say.
- So what are some of the 1,001 best places to have sex in America? Some of the best places, Dan & Jennifer believe, are right in your own home - have sex everywhere that's not the bedroom!
- Why the couples focus on AskDanAndJennifer.com? There are a lot of sites for helping people find dates, but less for those who are already in relationships seeking an open, nonjudgmental forum.

Find out more at http://www.getlusty.com

Dan & Jennifer Talk Romance & Making Time for Intimacy

- What got Eric into sex coaching? He noticed a need for people who could professionally teach how to create pleasure rather than simply treating sexual abuse or dysfunction.
- He apprenticed under Betty Dodson for ten years, forming a long-running professional, emotional, and physical relationship with his mentor.
- Although he and Betty were non-monogamous, there are disadvantages to adapting that lifestyle, Eric says; jealousy, especially when your partner's other lovers have a skill or advantage that you don't possess, can be one of the biggest challenges.
- A big challenge for monogamous couples? Adding novelty and variety to your relationship. Try new things, add them to your repertoire, and practice, practice, practice! Sex can lose its excitement even if you're awesome in bed, he says.
- Waiting for someone to come along to help you recreate an explosive first time experience? Don't hold your breath, Eric says. Don't get overly attached to an isolated moment because it pressures your partner to recreate an event that may not be possible the second time around.
- What does Eric recommend add novelty to a long-term relationship? Turn off the TV! Even if it's just for 10-15 minutes, re-orient your priorities and you may be surprised how much time is left over for intimacy.
- Want sex to be spontaneous? Even when sex is planned, add anticipation by sending sexy texts to your significant other throughout the day to help build up to the big event.

Find out more information at http://www.getlusty.com

Eric Amaranth on Monogamy & Adding Excitement to Long-Term Relationships

- Why the need for a shop like g boutique? To create an environment that promotes sexual education and a place where women can feel comfortable buying anything they needed for sex and romance, says Cheryl.
- Her advice to newer couples who are still getting to know each other? Take time to find out what pleases your significant other and learn about them - while orgasms are great, there is more to a healthy relationship than just climaxing!
- Having difficulty achieving an orgasm with your partner? There may be lingering emotional, biological, physical factors involved, but relaxation & communication are key, Cheryl believes.
- What are Cheryl's recommendations for couples looking to keep things fresh and exciting? If you have an interest in something, research it and get the information first before discussing it with your partner, so you can have an educated conversation and explore those secret fantasies together.

Podcast! Cheryl Sloane on Pleasing Your Partner & Owning Your Own Sexuality

- While most people think erotic talk means "talking dirty," it is actually only one aspect of a much wider topic. "Erotic talk is any form of verbal communication that arouses desire," says Bonnie.
- Feeling self-conscious about opening up verbally with your partner? Start slowly with erotic questioning and ease into connecting words to your feelings.
- Learning how to be an erotic listener for your partner can be just as important as being an erotic talker.
- "Create an erotic safety net with words" by being with your significant other in a nonjudgmental way. Instead of criticizing your partner, tell them what you want instead. Also, acknowledge and take responsibility for your own reactions rather than blaming them on your partner, Bonnie recommends.
- Learn each other's trigger words - use the words that commonly turn both of you on, or make up some of your own!
- Read erotic novels to each other to become more comfortable with erotic language.

Find out more at http://www.getlusty.com

Bonnie Gabriel on Sensuality & Erotic Talk

- How does having a negative body image affect your intimate relationships? If you don't feel comfortable being naked by yourself, you probably will not feel comfortable being naked with a partner, Bonnie says.
- What does Bonnie suggest to help overcome body image issues? Start infusing positive messages into your daily routine with Post-It notes around the house to remind you that you are beautiful!
- Look at one part of your body in the mirror and say "I love you and I accept you," Bonnie recommends to give yourself an extra dose of self-love throughout the day.
- Use Sex Butter by rubbing it on specific body parts and tell yourself positive things about that body part; this makes it easier to start accepting yourself for who you are today, and positive change will follow.
- How does positive body image affect your sexuality? When you feel confident and comfortable in your body you can connect better with your partner physically and emotionally; no matter what body part you think needs improvement, your partner loves you for who you are!

Find out more at http://www.getlusty.com.

Podcast! Bonnie Gayle on Positive Body Image & Self-Love

- Born and raised in Japan, Kelly was aware of her weight at a young age. "I was always a bigger kid...it wasn't until I came to the states that I realized I wasn't as big as people made me out to be," Kelly says.
- Kelly believes working in porn helped improve her self-esteem and body image, and aided in shedding some of the negative thoughts she held as a child about her own body.
- Kelly's most recent film, "Kelly Shibari is Overloaded," is a different kind of porn in that is helps break the stereotype that plus-size porn stars are "just a pretty face" who don't do the extreme sex scenes that are generally reserved for more slender women.
- What makes "Overloaded" feminist porn for Kelly? Its sense of female empowerment and her being in control of the scenes. "If you're a gentleman, you get the sexiest part of me, if you're a jerk you don't get anything sexy about me," she says of her male fans who took part.
- Kelly believes "Overloaded" and similar films allow fans to see that you don't always have to be inside the box - be experimental and branch out, but put safety first, she advises.
- Tips for being comfortable with your own sexuality? Do your research before you experiment and find positive and fun in everything you do, Kelly recommends. Trying new things helps you find out what turns you on and what works for you!

Find out more at http://www.getlusty.com

Exclusive! Kelly Shibari Talks Feminist Porn & Self-Acceptance

- Some big challenges Sonia sees couples facing? Having a hard time connecting and communicating, leading to not growing together as a couple; "communication is bigger than the words we speak," she says.
- Take responsibility for your own actions; it takes one to know one, and if you think your partner's not being a good listener, focus on yourself before blaming them to see how you're doing the same things.
- How does Sonia gauge success and good communication when working with couples? Connecting and growing together, but working on loving yourself before coming together with your partner. Spending more time on how you can be happier, stronger, and more in love together is key, she believes.
- "The change that you want to see in your partner, give that to yourself first," says Sonia. Spend less time trying to get your partner to change, and focus on you.
- Have understanding, compassion and forgiveness for not only your partner, but for yourself. The internal changes are sometimes the biggest ones.

Find out more at http://www.getlusty.com

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