i rather be at the beach, cold cold beach

so the chicks, is goin to psychology courses, does she got a degre?

Note: These conversations span back over 5 years, during that time my understanding around these issues and my political analysis has evolved.

Conversations about race, racism, colonisation, representation & anti-racist activism

This week I chatted with the critically acclaimed, and multi award winner and nominee, podcaster Dave Pickering about podcasts.

You will hear:

 - Dave doing an intro about their podcasts and history with them
- why people might listen to them, what are the motivations
- the danger of neoliberalism 'self improvement' and podcasts 
- the parasocial relationships that we have with podcast hosts and guests and how much that is part of why we listen (atomised, alienated from those around us we might turn to these kinds of relationships maybe?)
- recommendations for good shows

Dave’s own projects are
 
Getting Better Acquainted
Stand Up Tragedy
The Family Tree
Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad (I’ve listened to the first of these, it’s really moving and excellent. 
 
Current (Client) projects: 
Who Hurt You (formally Made of Human) (I sort of mentioned this)
The Restart Project 
Race Reflections AT WORK
The Breakup Monologues 
 
Check all those out via Dave’s website http://dave-pickering.squarespace.com/ 

Also follow them on twitter for their excellent recommendations (usually on a Friday) https://twitter.com/goosefat101 

Please consider supporting the Patreon for this show patreon.com/culturesexrelationships Your support means that I can get paid to make the show and I can also pay other freelance guests. The more support I get the more shows I can make. 

Speaking of shows, the easiest ones for me to make are the 'Ask Justin' advice shows. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, your relationship to your self, you can ask me. I will anonymise your question and will also give an excellent, long, and thoughtful answer. Email culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com

Dave Pickering: Podcasts

In GBA 148 we get better acquainted with Musa Okwonga. We talk privilege, empathy, black history, climate change, progressive economics, TV/film, rape culture, inequality, journalism and so much more. 

Musa plugs:

http://www.okwonga.com/

https://twitter.com/Okwonga


I plug:

Edit's of earlier GBA episodes are going out on Resonance 104.4 FM at 11am Fridays (repeated 2am Tuesdays): http://resonancefm.com/

Tragic Heroes: 21st March @ The Hackney Attic: https://www.facebook.com/events/502957866479816/

We mention:

Musa's blog on feminism that I was reading while waiting to have a vasectomy: http://www.okwonga.com/?p=591
Fast and the Furious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fast_and_the_Furious
Spock: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spock
Zachary Quinto: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spock
Chris Pine:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Pine
Star Trek: Into Darkness: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_Into_Darkness
New Statesman: http://www.newstatesman.com/
Independent: http://www.independent.co.uk/
Guardian: http://www.theguardian.com/uk
This is Africa: http://www.thisisafricaonline.com/
EDL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Defence_League
Musa's blog on Tommy Robinson: http://www.okwonga.com/?p=820
Owen Jones:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owen_Jones_(writer)
Laurie Penny: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurie_Penny
Musa's Nelson Mandela Article: http://www.okwonga.com/?p=869
Audre Lorde: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audre_Lorde
Ivan Massow in Evening Standard: http://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/ivan-massow-this-new-gay-hedonism-is-not-what-i-fought-for-8678761.html
Rosa Parks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosa_Parks
Stokely Carmichael: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stokely_Carmichael
Kate Tempest: http://katetempest.co.uk/
March for the Alternative: http://goosefat101twitterspills.blogspot.co.uk/2011/03/truth.html
Musa's blog on empathy: http://www.okwonga.com/?p=933
Ian Duncan Smith: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iain_Duncan_Smith
Tim Montgomerie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Montgomerie
This American Life: money episode -  http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/423/the-invention-of-money
Black Tudors article: http://mediadiversified.org/2014/02/12/its-time-to-talk-about-black-tudors/
Margaret MacMillan: The Uses and Abuses of History: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Abuses-History-Professor-Margaret-MacMillan/dp/1846682045
Musa's article on WW! and Empire: http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2014/01/dear-mr-gove-we-need-talk-about-empire-our-schools
Orientalism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orientalism
Edward Said: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Said
Male Gaze: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaze#The_.22male_gaze.22_in_feminist_theory
Foucault: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Foucault
Eminem: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eminem
Little Britain: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Britain
David Cameron: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Cameron
James Arthur: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Arthur_(singer)
Property article in the evening standard: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/londons-100bn-property-boom-as-last-homes-under-100k-are-snapped-up-9082716.html
Niels Bohr: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/941-the-opposite-of-a-correct-statement-is-a-false-statement

You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA 148 Musa Okwonga

In GBA 182 we get better acquainted with Reni Eddo-Lodge. She talks about coming to mainstream journalism via activism and blogging, analyzing how power works, how the both the left and the media are held back by viewing everything through the lens of middle class white men, the "Great Intersectionality Wars" of 2012, black feminism, cultural capital, critical race theory and more. If that makes the conversation sound academic and dry then let me assure you it really isn't. The conversation takes place in a busy cafe in Hackney, Reni is battling the end of an illness, I am battling my privilege based ignorance, but despite that we manage to have a great conversation about race, class, gender and the media.

http://renieddolodge.co.uk/

Reni plugs:

Email her if you want her to speak at things you are doing: http://renieddolodge.co.uk/contact/

You can find her online at: https://twitter.com/renireni

I plug:

Stand Up Tragedy: Tragic Horror: https://www.facebook.com/events/707597412628896/
Tragic Friends Act 3: https://soundcloud.com/standuptragedy/tragic-friends-act-3

We mention:

Focus E15 Mum's: https://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-179-focus-e15-mothers
https://twitter.com/FocusE15
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Focus-E15-Mothers/602860129757343
Facebook Egg Freezing: http://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/2014/oct/21/facebook-apple-egg-freezing-virgin-unlimited-holidays-business-benefits
Channel 4 Best Young Blogger Award: http://www.theguardian.com/media/pda/2010/oct/25/channel-4-britains-best-young-blogger-louise-jones
Greenpeace: http://www.greenpeace.org.uk/
Intersectionality: http://www.feministtimes.com/call-yourself-an-intersectional-feminist/
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10572435/Intersectional-feminism.-What-the-hell-is-it-And-why-you-should-care.html
Billy Bragg: http://www.billybragg.co.uk/
Critical Race Theory:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_race_theory
Kimberley Crenshaw: http://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/2014/04/kimberl-crenshaw-intersectionality-i-wanted-come-everyday-metaphor-anyone-could
Kimberley Crenshaw's LSE lecture: http://www.lse.ac.uk/publicEvents/events/2014/03/20140326t1830vOT.aspx
Marx: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Marx
New Statesman: http://www.newstatesman.com/
Intersectionality Wars of 2012: http://www.utne.com/community/intersectionality-zm0z14uzwil.aspx#axzz3Gs0ZAAWL
http://www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2012/10/a_problem_that
Sheryl Sandberg: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Sandberg


You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA 182 Reni Eddo-Lodge

In GBA 199 we get better acquainted with Adele Hampton. She talks spoken word, journalism, finding her voice, navigating the intersections of class, race, gender and sexuality, her specific experiences of growing up biracial, moving to London from America and so much more. 

Adele plugs:

Her video production work:  Contact her at Adele Hampton on facebook. Check out her previous video work: http://adelehampton.com/

I plug:

The upcoming #GBA200 season (16th-20th March 2015) where I will be celebrating 200 hundred episodes of Getting Better Acquainted with a week of conversations where the table is turned and other people run the show and I am the guest.

And Tragic Spring: https://www.facebook.com/events/588668424609848/

We mention:

Sophia Walker: https://www.facebook.com/SophiaWalker
Can't Care Won't Care: http://www.rondotheatre.co.uk/production/1159/
Around the World in 8 Mistakes: http://sabotagereviews.com/2013/08/29/edinburgh-fringe-review-around-the-world-in-eight-mistakes-by-sophia-walker/
Stand Up Tragedy: http://www.standuptragedy.co.uk/
Oxford Brookes: https://www.brookes.ac.uk/
New College of Humanities: https://www.nchum.org/
My dad: https://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/the-dad-episodes
Adele's dad: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3563885/
http://www.transcendingsurgeon.com/
Miner's Strike: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UK_miners%27_strike_%281984%E2%80%9385%29
Spark London: http://sparklondon.com/
Doctor Who: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Who
Daniel Radcliffe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Radcliffe
Rhianna: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhianna_(singer)
Annie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annie_(2014_film)
Ferguson: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Ferguson_unrest
The Wire: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_wire
Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/


Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA 199 Adele Hampton

In GBA 274 we get better acquainted with Guilaine Kinouani. She talks about structural power, racism, mental health issues and self care in relation to the experiences of women of colour, clinical psychology, feminism, the #PredatoryPeacekeepers campaign, the differences (and similarities) between British and French attitudes to race/migration and so much more. It's also the first Getting Better Acquainted recorded in a public library.

Guilaine plugs:

Predatory Peacekeepers: http://predatorypeacekeepers.tumblr.com/
PP Petition: https://community.avaaz.org/petitions/we-will-not-stand-by-when-un-soldiers-abuse-rape-and-murder

Media Diversified: https://mediadiversified.org/

Now We Here: https://soundcloud.com/real-media-1

Real Media: http://realmedia.press/

RaceReflections: https://racereflections.co.uk

We mention:

Racism = prejudice + power: http://sjwiki.org/wiki/Prejudice_plus_power
White Feminism: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/need-talk-about-white-feminism/
Strong Black Woman Trope: https://blackgirlnerds.com/mental-health-and-the-strong-black-woman-trope/
bell hooks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_hooks
Audre Lorde: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audre_Lorde
AL quote: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/2213-if-i-didn-t-define-myself-for-myself-i-would-be
Code Blue Campaign: http://www.codebluecampaign.com/
Some articles on #PredatoryPeacekeepers:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/20/the-un-must-smash-the-culture-of-impunity-that-lets-peacekeepers/

https://mediadiversified.org/2016/04/12/the-uns-good-vs-bad-narrative-clears-the-way-for-sexual-violence-and-impunity/

Samantha Asumadu: http://www.samanthaasumadu.com/

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 274 Guilaine Kinouani

In GBA 89 we get better acquainted with Laraby. She talks about how storytelling and class have shaped her life, of her journey from poverty in the Lower East Side of New York to relative comfort in South London. 

This journey has taken her from an unstable home in the ghetto, Children’s Homes, running away at 14 to find a new life, the music industry, an Ivy League University, writing, immigration, working with young offenders, completing the citizenship test and so much more! 



Laraby Plugs:

Penny Arcade: BITCH! DYKE! FAGHAG! WHORE! at The Albany 15-23rd December 2012: http://www.thealbany.org.uk/event_detail/893/Theatre/Penny-Arcade-B!D!F!W!


Laraby's Spark Story (told on the night we met): http://www.mixcloud.com/sparklondon/tit-trauma-laraby/



Mentioned:

Spark London: http://www.sparklondon.com/

The Moth: http://themoth.org/




You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at http://www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA 89 Laraby

Episode 3 of GBA Live: 5 conversations recorded as part of my Invisible Picture Palace (http://invisiblepicturepalace.com/) residency for In the Dark Radio (http://www.inthedarkradio.org/) that took place in November 2012. These episodes are going to come out daily in the week leading up to the GBA 100 two-part special. Each one has a different audience of people who came out to a greenhouse in Wapping to be a part of the conversation.

Today we get better acquainted with Urie.

She talks about Little Apple Dolls, making art, nearly getting signed to DC comics, growing up shifting between different religions as her mum followed a spiritual quest, depression, family, dogs with silly faces, bullying and much more.

It's a really open and honest conversation which covers a lot of ground, from comics conventions to Nigerian Church Cults, from the imaginary space of The Inbetween to living with mental health issues, Urie is engaging, funny and wise.

The live recording of this episode was picked as part of Something You Said's Top Gigs of 2012: http://somethingyousaid.com/2012/12/28/something-you-saids-top-gigs-of-2012/


Urie plugs:

Her new Little Apple Doll: http://screamingmatriarch.bigcartel.com/product/new-limited-edition-lustravi-14-little-apple-doll

And Screaming Matriach: http://screamingmatriarch.bigcartel.com/

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Little-Apple-Dolls/10150159360495593


We mention:

Stand Up Tragedy: http://www.standuptragedy.co.uk

Urie will be performing at SUT on Thursday 28th March at the Dogstar in Brixton.

Byron Burger: http://www.byronhamburgers.com/

J Horror: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_horror

Robert Rodriguez: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Rodriguez

Quentin Tarantino: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin_Tarantino


You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at http://www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA Live 3 Urie

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

This episode is about creating things: imaginary worlds, homes and friendship. It's also about walls: drawing on walls, putting up boundaries, and pulling down the walls inside your mind and heart.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 10: Friendship Part 2

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: PTSD, dependency/addiction, rape (touched on lightly, no descriptions)

In the fifth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to psychologist and epidemiologist Dr Suzi Gage from the podcast Say Why to Drugs about researching recreational drug use and mental health.

Say Why to Drugs with Dr Suzi Gage: https://podcasts.apple.com/il/podcast/say-why-to-drugs/id1114492774

Say Why to Drugs by Dr Suzi Gage: https://www.hachette.co.uk/contributor/suzi-gage/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 11 - Drink Sangria in the park

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: war, medical operations, suicidal ideation

I’m still pretty terrified of my dad stopping existing. He has been such a part of my life that it feels like a world without him in it is impossible. But ever since I was a child, I have been imagining that world. I’ve played out his death so many times. I’ve written it into fiction and songs. I’ve spent hours in my mind going through how it will be. What I might think and do. How it will affect me. How it will affect my family. And I’ve always thought it would probably happen soon. But it never has.

This episode is about confronting death and confronting love. It includes the story of my dad's war and of his heart attack and quadruple heart bypass.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 12:  Hearts Breaking

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: operations, medical procedures, assisted dying, euthanasia

In the sixth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to sociologist Dr Gill Haddow about embodiment, replaceable hearts, everyday cyborgs, humanimals and unhealth. This is an episode about possible futures and how we feel about our bodies.

Gill on twitter: https://twitter.com/gillhaddow

Everyday Cyborgs and Humanimals 2018: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WilTY5FF5w

Animal, Mechanical and Me: https://animalmechanicalandme.com/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 13: New answers to old questions

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

I realised that maybe our positions aren’t that different after all. And I wondered if, in the moments that I manage to believe in hope, I seem as inspiring and naïve as he does. It made me wonder if maybe the spark I see in him, that belief in people and ideas, if that isn’t also in me, despite my frequent feeling that it isn’t. If I might communicate that to other people regardless. If the world as humans know it lasts for long enough for me to reach a similar age as my dad, I wonder if I will be someone who frustrates and delights young people with my faith in them, whether I will still accept the possibility of hope and change?

This episode is about belief, hope and progress. It considers technological change, generational change, spiritual change and political change.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 14: André Gorz Tweet

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

But no matter what he forgets, it can’t take away the love we have shared, that existed, and will always have existed, even when he has forgotten it; even when he is no longer alive to remember it; even when I have forgotten it; even when I am no longer alive to remember it. It happened. And that has to be enough.

This episode is about movement, memory, change, time, distance, tears, connection, therapy, sadness, love, grief and everything else that can come in waves.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 16: Waves

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: grief, suicide, terminal illness, abuse, bereavement

In the final full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to counselor and psychotherapist Karen Pollock MBACP about grief and death. This is an episode about ways of thinking (and feeling) about bereavement, therapeutic approaches to change and loss, how the systems and attitudes around and inside us effect the ways we deal with difficult things, and so much more. It is the only episode of the show that doesn't feature my dad's voice but he is very present in the conversation.

Karen on twitter: https://twitter.com/CounsellingKaz

Counselling in Northumberland: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/

Non-Binary Lives: An Anthology of Intersecting Identities: https://www.ubcpress.ca/non-binary-lives

The Messiness of Grief: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2020/02/03/the-messiness-of-grief/

Opening the door to difficult conversations: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2018/01/23/opening-the-door-to-difficult-conversations/

Death and second chances: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2016/11/22/death-and-second-chances/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 17: The Box And The Jar

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: sex, assisted dying, war 

This episode is the last episode of the first (and possibly last) season of this show, and it's about legacy.

I’ve been planning this show for years. The earliest recording I’ve used was recorded by my dad on cassette tape in 1984. This show has covered 96 years of my dad’s life and 38 years of mine. I started recording interviews with my dad in 2011 and began writing essays about our relationship and his journey through old age towards death in 2017.

I’m glad I made this show. That it hasn’t just remained an imagined show. It’s been a tough journey at times, but it’s one I’m so glad I’ve made. Thanks for travelling on it with me.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 18: Legacy

A weekly podcast: Join Dave Pickering on his journey to get better acquainted with the people he knows. Part interview show, part oral history project and part autobiography through conversation.

British Podcast Award 2017 winner (bronze in Best Interview category)

GBA was nominated for a 2012 Radio Production Award, aired for 3 seasons on Resonance 104.4 FM and was featured on BBC Radio 4's In Pod We Trust, BBC Radio 5 Live’s Helen and Olly's Required Listening and has been recommended by The Guardian, Time Out and the Financial Times

GBA 89 Laraby

Getting Better Acquainted

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