i’m not good at really communicating the constant existential dread that I feel on a daily basis, about how I look or how others are perceiving me or whether or not they have the potential to hurt me in some way, so i listen to music instead. outside of my own bedroom or friends’ car sound systems, the only place to really hear and experience music on a bigger scale is music venues, and for a lot of marginalized people the places where ppl end up are nightclubs. theres lots of reasons why nightclubs are important though: various collections of people, whether by sexual, racial, gender or any other type of identity, figure out a way together to justify the cost of running said location because its important enough for them to continue to do it, they’re venues that have the ability to host all types of talent from all the people coming to who attend them and incubate it and help it grow and become stronger so that new talent can inspire others too. nightclubs, especially those that are for or cater to marginalized people, are so important for so many reasons and to see something as awful as the Pulse shooting and to see other DJs either not react whatsoever or just half hearted bullshit is so infuriating. but thats not what makes me emotional about this tragedy, nor is it the violence of the act itself, which has become so normalized and almost predictable for most major media organizations to cover with a lack of tact and respect, if any coverage whatsoever. i cry every time i go on tumblr and i see activists and people who try to increase visibility of issues important to me break down or give up or are just like “yikes this is so fucked up and its really affecting me in a terrible way”. i cry every time i see people holding vigils or marching or coming together irl over the attack. i cried when my supervisor texted me unprompted that if i wanted to take any time off because of the shooting she totally understands, because i cry every time i see someone generally understands and acknowledges the pain of existing under this crushing fucked up society that were only just now starting to fully understand on a large scale how fundamentally fucked up it is, and who still has the strength to do something about it. i cry thinking about how thankful I am to have made it this far, where my identity is something my friends and family are starting to accept and understand, and for the first time ever in my own life there are acquaintances or relative strangers who are totally welcoming and accepting of who i am, and there are people who give me opportunities like this to make a mix for Pride Prom.

I started making this mix right before the news hit and finished it a few days after. hopefully people can still dance to this weird mix of sounds, especially teenagers? idek. theres a fifth harmony song near the end that they’ll hopefully know.

happy pride

@bedroomer

Comments

DJSWEATPANTSOFFICIAL

Eric

DJ Chillleader

Drainpuppet :)

faggoth

❦❦ ~Fetisch Bistro~ ❦❦

*s*******

ZINNN

The Recherché Roughyed

‮〽。〜ɒ』♪