the story of my life told by me in music. It tells how and why I have become who I am at the moment I make music. It is hard to find words to describe the things, thoughts and feelings I have encountered in my life so far. I try to give meaning by expressing myself in music. Although it will never give a detailed view of my personal perception, I do try to recreate my innerself with the music the world hands me. Those who will listen may think. These who will seek to understand may feel. I believe in an abstract infinity and it is the fundament of my creative development.

storyline

I have the feeling I perceive things differently than other people do.  

Perception

the sound of


sometimes you feel like you have no power over the thougths floating trough your mind. A moment of total disconnection. Zero Control.

Where theres is no control, there is no structure a person can build upon. When the pressure of negative thoughts is so immense the positive structure collapses, depression and problems often get the upperhand. I always have the feeling I attract a lot of problems. sometimes it is so bad it feels like I literally breath problems. I tried solving this problem by breathing in more problems from the mirror, White I knew they would only case more and more. Maybe if I use my nose for problems I can use my ears to look for solutions.

Music is a way for lost whirling emotions to find a Light in the deepest and darkest thougts. It gives a grip and often leeds these emotions to places in your head where they can find safety and comfort. It is a way of finding new hope and rebuilding fallen structures.

geen controle over mijn leven

is dit wat het pijn is dat doet waarom je niet alleen pijn voelt om welke reden je niet zoekt naar de manier om een uitweg te vinden in dit doolhof.

Het moment dat je overlaat aan de muziek is als een soort overgave aan het universum. Je gedachten worden volledig overgenomen door de klanken en kleuren van de nummers die elkaar opvolgen.

Vaak ga ik zitten achter mijn controller om juist mijn gedachten een plek te geven. Juist om mijn onformuleerbare gevoelens uit te spreken in de dichtstbijzijnde vorm van zintuiglijke waarneming; geluid.

Het is de enige manier om me niet te laten lijden door emotie, maar om emotie door mij te laten leiden. Alleen met mezelf en met de muziek.

Mijn hoofd is altijd een complete chaos, en zonder er bij na te denken wat ik doe, representeert dit setje toch om 1 of andere manier de chaos in mijn hoofd.

Ik zou het knap vinden als je je weg door dit setje weet te banen, op dezelfde manier hoe ik een weg door mijn brein weet te vinden.



A Journey into chaos

its not advice, nor an explenation. its a story of sound. a story trough the barriers of your own thoughts, far beyond the limits you are willing to go. 

Let me try and take you on this yourney. It may be overwhelming, or it is a familiar path you have already followed in your life.

Don't get fooled by the beauty of the sounds and focus on the perspective. Thing might get dark, but know there is always beauty in the end.

Or does it turn out to be a illusion after all.

its all an illusion

right into what i feel

I just made this track to practise my production skills

and to dance to this shit

happy sad shit

this is me, and the music I play.
to tell the story of my life every day.
about the beauty and the pain.
about sleeping trough the sun.
and walking trough the rain.
is life just an illusion.
or is it the result of my own infusion.
in the end I am calm.
I love my mom.



mom is not always right

A new story of life unfolds

It is exciting seeing some pieces coming together
Sometimes you have to wait to understand the references of information

There is always a way to make things better
Even if you feel like you fall under life's radiaton 

Within all of life it is okay to get lost sometimes
The less you know the more you learn

Time is a thing of beauty, just as beauty is a thing of time

I already wonder what the next beholds



a path trough chaos

*
Vandaag heb ik verloren
Ondermijdend was het resultaat
Zo was de daad
Wederom zal ik mij storen

De zon op mijn ogen
Telkens ben ik weer bedrogen
Is het de juiste weg die ik kies
Of eindigt het weer in verlies

Tot het licht komt van de straat
En ik recht vooruit kijk
Nee, ik ben niet kwaad
*
Gijs Gorter, 17/07/2024

the fool, the depart and The Insight

Hello, another little project of mine. Production no. 9 in Line. Things are improving but there is loads of work to do. All rights and credits go to Allegra Lusini for providing this astonishing sample that I used in completo. Beautiful and touching singing.

The idea of the purification break is to purify the inner self, from the lies, illusions and surrealistic dreams we hold on to in our lifes. This song tells the story of my own purification and struggles with keaping the rythm clean and normal. it is an ongoing process of deviding the archive with a once in a life time break where you discover the importance of the purity of the soul. Even after this it still hard to keep a clean rythm and soul with all the influences of the modern inside and outside world.

In other words, take a break once in a while to relax, to enjoy yourself, to work on yourself and maintain the relation with yourself.  The relation with yourself is the beginning of your understanding of the world. It's alright to step aside some time, but don't drift away too far in this internal universe. You will get lost and tryna hold on to everything that illudes reality. When this happens, you need a purification break.

the purification break

my battle against insanity

nights alone.

nights alone.

nights alone.

alone nights.

alone nights. 

nights alone.

Gijs Gorter

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