voice memo. 1/27/2025

mango apple tastes so sweet
i'll pace through the graveyard forever 
just to feel you stare through me 
i wonder where you'll be 
will it still taste the same if you wait for me 

silk worm im giving in 
ill break every mirror and step on the pieces 
to feel your warmth again
doll nesting in your porcelain
ill keep my eyes closed forever 
to sleep under your skin 

mango apple

pinky promise

I’m scared to speak and make it true

silly little thing i made 4 school. the assignment was make >7 minutes of music. i didn't rly know wat 2 do sooo yea. 

the heavens stretched their arms out to your hands
picking me apart with your first glance 
I’m putting back all the pieces in the wrong place
you’re so certain but i will never be the same 

it makes me sick 

come on baby pull the knife from my chest
stomachs tied a tight knot on my neck 
i fucking hate that im always in the wrong place
but if your waiting i promise that ill do the same 

run down the block
slam the car door
to outstretched arms 
twirl me around 
tell me you love me while im sleeping on the train 
ill let your tears hit my chest
we always felt the same 

waking up on your couch (im ok) sunlight kisses your nose (too sore to move but i inch closer)

why do I feel nauseous? 
two beers on the window sill
staring at me with a vengeance
(sleep till 4 pm with the sun kissing your nose and your cheek
i dont wanna go back home just yet)

too sore to move i inch closer to you 
when my body feels broken you know what to do

waking up on your couch im ok

how tf do u spell nawshus

laying in my cold lit tomb 
the same vexing melody repeats
over, and over
the voices of all my 
loves and past loves 
stretch their way into my ears 
and i depravedly wish  
that i would wake up 
and they would be by my side 

id probably say something stupid, like 
"darling, one day our bones 
will become dust and flowers,
our pedals will catch the breeze 
and we'll dance in blood-red sunlight" 

but now we float, not yet ensconced in soil
and a haunting hatred stretches
its long cold fingers 
down our throats 
and threads our longing into sharp
blue crystals 

we're burning up in a self-contained,
psychosocial digital format,
and i wish so depravedly
that i would wake up, 
and they would be by my side


darling, one day our bones will become dust and flowers

i am freaking SICK rn so gimme a break OK

in my loser girl era 0_o

song i wrote and partially recorded in like january of 2024. decided 2 finish it today. 

snow falls 
my hands go numb 
there's two mugs 
getting moldy on the window 
and I have (open)
surrendered every ounce of (draw my blood)
my stomach (relearn)
but you kept me around (everything)
again

you killed me 
but im thankful for corpses 
cuz they can’t 
keep secrets i can never
untangle (your words)
to find problems with how i (were so vain)
am speaking (fail to)
but youve taught me now (silence me)
to fear 

i hate you

girlguts

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