To preface this, I'd just like to say a few words. Trigger Warning.
 Thank you for spending time on my profile. I enjoy seeing how everything connects. And I'm loving sharing these tracks with you that I've wanted to share for absolutely years. I hope you're having nice weather, because I'm fucking not babes. Stay the course, keep out of trouble and hold your tongue until absolutely necessary, guys.
 I have been through severe trauma my family do not wish to understand or lack the skill to do so effectively. This is how I am processing my time spent with certain people who have done nothing but create an obstacle between me and myself. Feeding on pure confusion. I hate it. This is my time. I've had enough of being neglected by everyone. I want to live my life through myself, not through the careful self-management of myself through threat of force and standard. From someone else in authority! It's not the 70s dad, people can actually speak freely about themselves. Why can't I?

You know what you did to me Dad. And you Steve. I'm not having any discussion with either of you. This is it. Constantly winking at me, implying to me you Wanted me. And best believe it babe. I'm not happy in the slightest with at least 3 different people right now, including you. I'm now thinking I have to start taking people to court over what they've done to me. Criminal. This enters me into an environment I know nothing about, I have no-one but my mum to calm me down. And I keep Her calm. You'd think your uncle would know how to be a good little boy and listen to those around you. Instead of hearing yourself at that age, struggling with the notion I'm currently dealing with, then further distancing yourself from the point that which I am making. I have to be direct and say you don't know a thing about me. Still. And you probably never will.
 I have 50p and a lighter, and you think I'm here to make you feel Bad about yourself. Save yourself. And fucking Grow Up after you stop touching yourself. The way you looked at me, made feel like Fresh Meat. And you got scared by how I stared right through your beady fucking eyes. I was told you were shaking.
 I invited you to come sit down with us. Get down with the kids...

And you said days later, in the same discussion. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to punch you in the face after you said that? And I said No. You then went on to say that your loving wife had only just mentioned us exactly how I described us. You laughed. Not upset? Well... if you were my parent then.
My Uncle told me how my grandmother would have been distraught after the lunch we had with her. I was hungry. Hours later, we're sat down having a reasonable chat as you do. When out of nowhere, my uncle starts the whole Farquaad, scorning me for how I was "Behaving".

I'm sorry you don't like the way I hold my knife and fork, or like the way I eat the food I'd been waiting for and looking forward to. But I'd like to finish my meal.
I said that to you and you came over all well well well, grabbed my hips as if to say "Well Done for dissing me, stfu". I felt that. There was nothing normal about my interaction with you. I wanted to add to that by giving you my last fat wet kiss on your cheek. Why? You made it apparent to your own wife that you were looking at me as an object. So what ever I did after that, would only confirm to her that you are a lying deceitful abusive and coercive Arsewipe with no mind, no matter and certainly no heart. I had been assaulted to the point of blood on a man's finger and you act like that because you can't secure a fucking wife or future for yourself? Dump him.
Save the tears Steve. Save your Coke for tomorrow night when you actually need it. And Leave Her Alone. She saw what I saw. A man struggling against his own. You were high the entire time. You ever going to let that smile falter? This is it now. You fucking broke my heart. The one guy I wanted to have fun with. Wank yourself silly mate. Adios <3

An Evening in Nirvana (18+)

I loved the original so much, I'd thought I should remix it

Waterflame - Glorious Morning (Flixel Remix)

I did this edit quite a while ago and forgot to upload it

Electric Youth - The Best Thing (Flixel Edit)

Huic praefationis pauca libet dicere. Monitio felis.
Gratias tibi ago pro mea profile tempus commorans. Gaudeo videre quomodo omnia connectit. Et amando me has semitas tecum communicans quas annis absolute communicare volui. Spero te tempestatem iucundam habere, quod ego stupri non infantes. Cursus siste, cave ab angustiis et linguam tace donec absolute necessarium est, latinas.
Gravis trauma fui familia mea non velle intelligere vel arte carere ad efficaciter faciendum. Hoc modo expedio tempus meum cum quibusdam hominibus qui nihil aliud egerunt nisi impedimentum inter me et meipsum efficiunt. Puris saturorum confusionibus. Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. Hoc est tempus meum. Mihi satis est ab omnibus neglectus. Vivere volo per me vitam meam, non per curam sui administrandi me per vim et mensuram. Ab alio prael! Non 70s tata est, homines libere de se loqui possunt. Cur non possum?

Tu quid mihi feceris Pater. Et tu Stephanus. Im 'non habens aliquam disputationem cum alterutro vestrum. Hoc est. Assidue me nictans, me insinuans Voluisti me. et babe optime crede. Non sum gavisus pro minimo cum saltem 3 diversis hominibus nunc, inter te. Cogito nunc me incipere habere homines ad iudicium de illis quae fecerunt mihi. Scelestus. Hoc intrat me in ambitum nihil scio, neminem habeo nisi mum meum ad leniendum me. Et Her tranquillitatem detineo. Avunculum tuum putes scire quomodo puerulus bonus sit et eos qui circa te sunt audiant. Pro eo tempore te audiendi, luctantem cum notione quam nunc agimus, tum longius ab eo quod agimus absis. Me esse directum et rem de me dicere nescis. Adhuc. Et tu probabiliter numquam.
50p habeo et levius, et me hic putas ut te malam de te sentias. te ipsum serva. Et stupri Cresce post te de te desine. Via me aspexisti, sentio sicut caro recens. Et pertimuisti quomodo per ocellos tuos ocellos stupri inspexisti. Dictum est mihi te trepidare.
Te invitavi ut nobiscum discumberet. Descende cum pellentesque...

Et post dies dixisti, in eadem disputatione. Habesne ideam quantum volui te perfricare in facie postquam dixisti? Et dixi N. Tu tunc dicturus es quod amantissima uxor tua tantum modo memoraverat nos, quemadmodum nos descripsimus. Risisti. Non perturbatus? Bene... si tunc parens meus esses.
Avunculus meus dixit mihi quomodo avia mea amens fuisset post prandium quod apud eam habuimus. Esurivi. Horae post, sedimus rationabiliter chat sicut tu. Cum a nullo, patruus meus Farquaad totum incipit, me spernens, quomodo essem "Facturus".

Paenitet me non sicut modo cultrum et furcam teneo, aut sicut modo edo cibum quod exspectavi et exspecto. Sed libet farinam meam finire.
Dixi quod tibi et bene omnibus accessisti, coxas meas arripui ac si diceret "Bene factum ad me dissing, stfu". quod sensi. Nihil erat normale de commercio meo tecum. Id volui addere, quod tibi meum extremum pinguem umidum osculum in maxillam praebens. Quare? Uxori tuae apparuisti me ut rem aspiceres. Quicquid ergo postea egi, tantum ei confirmo te mendacem abusive et coer- centem Arsewipe sine mente, nulla re, et certe nullo corde. Impetus sum usque ad punctum sanguinis in digito hominis, et sic agis, quia uxorem stupri non potes aut tibi futuram? Effundite eum.
Salvum fac lacrimas Stephanus. Serva tuum Coke in crastina nocte, cum id actu opus est. Et dimitte illam. Vidit quod vidi. Conflictatus homo contra suos. Eratis altus omne tempus. Semperne iens ut mittas quod risu titubas? Hoc nunc est. Tu stupri fregit cor meum. Unum guy volui habere fun cum. Tute wank inepta mate. Adios <3  13/07/2023

Royal Heraldry (Beasts and Badges of Britain)

is it hip-hoppy or just plain boppy. who's to say...

Shapeship

Underlay

Gnomon

Divvy

J-Rod

Chlorophyll

Voltij

Juice V2

Telomere

Marram

Monax

Waltz Prosper (Oscillisco)

Goodness Town

When I'm home with my family, I prefer to remain by myself. The main reason is that I have been neglected, mistreated and assaulted all in the last year. As well as by various family members and people I've met. Neglect is when you leave someone to a situation to deal with by  themselves, or you leave them Behind.
 I'm not concerned about my mental health getting worse because I'm dealing with my past very well. This Hermit Attitude is probably the best thing for me, yet nobody in my Family seems to understand that I need time to process very many things and very much so. You told me you were ringing the Police because I was Angry about how I've been treated or rather; unacknowledged. You leave me to the house while you enjoy yourselves, okay? 
Dad, sorry mate. But your chance to make things better with your son; has past us. You force arguments on me and you Cannot admit it. I have the most extreme resentment toward my father for the way he has treated me and anything you Hear from me; is in reaction to and because of my Father.
It's not personal anymore between us anyway, so I'm not making a big fuss out of it like you have been, Dad. I just want my own life. And you can't seem to have any conversation with me, without a spiel and an argument Every Day.
After so long, it's only a Loud Volume that works with you. You don't even listen to me when we're having a Calm Chat. My community has helped me heal. And I want to say thank you to all of you for helping me in the way that you can. I'll be around, just please give me a little bit of time Dad. It's like having a Parrot.
23/08/2023

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