I shipped a tank, UI made of nails,
Go-core fortress, but it still fails—
Not the server, not the load, not the stack,
It’s the human hitting friction, snapping back.
I preached KISS, DRY, “clean, correct,”
While users ate error text and regret.
Support isn’t tickets, docs, or pride—
Support is the path where people don’t collide.

[Chorus]
UX! Or it’s dead on arrival,
UX! No more “read the manual,”
Cut the noise, cut the fat, cut the myth—
Make it work, make it clear, make it swift.
UX! Serve or get out the way,
Fifteen days, final sprint, no delays—
If it’s hard, it’s wrong, that’s the proof:
Make it smooth or burn the roof.

[Verse 2]
I fished features “for them,” what a joke,
They don’t want my fish, they want the boat.
Onboarding in thirty seconds flat,
Buttons that say what they do—imagine that.
Errors that heal, not punch the face,
Defaults that guide, not waste their days.
If it doesn’t help today, it dies—
No funeral, no meeting, no lies.

[Bridge (half-time shout, then snap back)]
No more ego-coded mazes.
No more “power user” excuses.
Humans first. Flow first.
Then scale, then style, then whatever.

[Final Chorus (double-time)]
UX! Or it’s dead on arrival,
UX! No more “read the manual,”
Ship the passage, not the bragging rights—
From “I quit” to “I get it” in one clean bite.
UX! Serve or get out the way,
Fifteen days, final sprint, no delays—
If it’s hard, it’s wrong, that’s the proof:
Make it smooth or burn the roof.


UX OR DIE TRYING

1,039 / Smoothed out Slappy Hours

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1,000 Hours

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New album Father Of All... out Feb 7. Hella Mega Tour w/ Green Day, Fall Out Boy + Weezer coming in 2021 http://hellamegatour.com

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