In 1984, a 24-year-old woman named Valerie Brown was vacationing in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Just for fun, she decided to do some recordings in a small studio in the area. This was her B-side, something much more innocent than her A-side. 

It actually was written for and debuted within a wedding-themed television commercial for Crocker National Bank in California in the winter of 1970, with Paul Williams on vocals. The commercial turned out to be very popular, but it attracted customers the bank was not interested in, young adult customers without any collateral for loans, so the campaign was eventually suspended, after which the concept was franchised by Crocker to other banks. Richard Carpenter heard the song, and the rest is history.

Whatever happened to Valerie Brown, this up-until-now unknown talent? Well, in 1988, she married a handsome man from Burlington, and became Valerie Palmer, my mother. I love you, Mom.

I received some great advice from Dean Friedman: "The best advice I can offer is to trust your own ears." So, that's what I did. I hope you like it. 

"We've Only Just Begun"
Written by Paul Williams & Roger Nichols
Performed by Valerie Brown
Recorded at Paradise Recordings, Myrtle Beach, SC
Edited and Mixed by Greg Palmer
©1984 Paradise Recordings-Songfest Productions
©2019 Palmer Music

The Paradise Recordings

We've Only Just Begun (by Valerie Brown)

In 1984, a 24-year-old woman named Valerie Brown was vacationing in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Just for fun, she decided to do some recordings in a small studio in the area. This was her A-side, a cover of one of The Police's biggest hits, the Grammy-winning "Every Breath You Take". 

It's a song commonly misconceived to be a love song. Here's how Sting explained it in a 1983 interview with the New Musical Express: "I think the ambiguity is intrinsic in the song however you treat it because the words are so sadistic. On one level, it's a nice long song with the classic relative minor chords, and underneath there's this distasteful character talking about watching every move. I enjoy that ambiguity. I watched Andy Gibb singing it with some girl on TV a couple of weeks ago, very loving, and totally misinterpreting it. (Laughter) I could still hear the words, which aren't about love at all. I pissed myself laughing."

Did Valerie understand or capture the darkness that was in Sting's heart at the time? Who knows? Does she nail the song? You decide.

Whatever happened to Valerie Brown, this up-until-now unknown talent? Well, in 1988, she married a handsome man from Burlington, and became Valerie Palmer, my mother. I love you, Mom.


"Every Breath You Take"
Written by Sting
Performed by Valerie Brown
Recorded at Paradise Recordings, Myrtle Beach, SC
Edited and Mixed by Greg Palmer
©1984 Paradise Recordings-Songfest Productions
©2019 Palmer Music

Every Breath You Take (by Valerie Brown)

In our vaporwave alternate reality, Jeopardy! tournaments will sound very different. I don't consider this theme a custom mix of the two themes (the one from 1984 and 1992), but rather the complete version of the 1992 theme.

Jeopardy! Tournament Theme [Vaporwave]

In our vaporwave world, contestants will have longer than 30 seconds to come up with a correct response to the Final Jeopardy! clue. They'll have a whole minute.

Jeopardy! Classic Think Music [Vaporwave]

Originally written by Ferdinand J. Smith and Casey Filiaci. Vaporwaved by yours truly in Audacity.

HBO Vaporwave Championship Boxing Intro

Written by Merv Griffin, vaporwaved by yours truly.

"Changing Keys '89" [Vaporwaved]

This was used as the closing theme to the 1978 revival of Jeopardy!, hosted by the original host, Art Fleming. Yeah, I bet you didn't know there was a host before Alex Trebek, did ya?

This is the slow, chill version.

Artist: Greg P x Merv Griffin

Frisco Disco Vapo (Slow)

This was used as the closing theme to the 1978 revival of Jeopardy!, hosted by the original host, Art Fleming. Yeah, I bet you didn't know there was a host before Alex Trebek, did ya?

I heard some of you need something to dance to, so here ya go.

Artist: Greg P x Merv Griffin

Frisco Disco Vapo(Fast)

Yes, this is AC/DC's "TNT", but it's warped up and slowed down. I had to soften up the guitars a bit, so I used phasers and reverb.

TNT Warped

This song was written as a tribute to former AC/DC lead singer Bon Scott, who died in February 1980. I slowed it down, phasered it up, and made it sound more like a funeral dirge.

Black In Vaporwave Black

Going a little retro on y'all. This is the perfect song to chill to. It spent two weeks at #1 on the Billboard AC chart. 

Artist: Greg P x Randy VanWarmer

Just When I Vaporwaved You Most

This time, collaborating with Seals & Crofts. My Web Design teacher is in the same religion as they are. Had to use the Wahwah to remove any and all traces of vocals.

Artist: Greg P. x Seals & Crofts

Summer Vaporwaves

Now, you may or may not recognize this one. I really had to work on this to make it sound different. It's supposed to be "Moonlight Feels Right". 

Artist: Greg P. x Starbuck

Moonlight Vapor

This is the kind of music you can get high to. It's "Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)" from Styx, It's been vaporized, devocalized, and sanitized for your protection.

Artist: Greg P x Styx

Vaporing Yourself (The Angry Old Wave)

OK, so I stumbled onto this black drag queen on Reddit. He used to play for the Carolina Panthers back in the early 2000s, but once his career ended, he decided to devote his life to drag and performing. He's built like a tank, but he and she are really sweethearts. "She" has given "herself" the name "Dianne Gerous", and "she" has asked me to be "her" manager.













Just kidding, just kidding. I really did something strange in Audacity. What it is, I'll never tell. 

(Greg P x Captain & Tennille)

Greg P

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