To see if my tiger cub petting zoo was properly gentle
Bad enough they sent a Fed, they sent a foreign one. The single
worst kind. Do they expect some Asian, some Subcontinental
to know shit from apple butter about living with a Bengal?

I Don’t abide by laws I don’t like; that’s how America works.
That inspector was an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks
To collect a bill I won’t pay.   He shoulda never got off the boat.
He should go back where he came from and I wish he’d take those jerks

Who live nextdoor to me with those yappy dogs they used to keep.
(Not real dogs, man’s dogs, dogs that attack when you’re in jeopard-
y)  They called the law ‘cause they saw   it out there creeping
With its bellyful of terrier…but  it isn’t my fuckin’ leopard.

Couple hundred years ago, Indiana was still Out West
This whole place was a wilderness and you’d better not forget it.
Wild thoughtless creatures prowled the woods; and maybe that was best
A world of pansy-asses took its place and we sat back and let it.

Back then you brought your rifle out to get food.   I still do.  It’s tradition; 
Even at the grocery store. Try and stop me – that’s my position.
And my position, my opinion, my decision is my law.
Keep on your side of the fence and you won’t feel my righteous claw

Long as the fence is high enough, but I can’t guarantee it will be.
Regulations are for sheep that can’t get by without a shepherd.
I’m no sheep; look at me and you know just what you see. 
You see the king of the jungle; call me Tiger Man.    
You see a fuckin’ leopard.

Leopard Song

You can’t always go it alone;
You can’t do it all on your own;
You try hard to face what you can but it’s stronger to stand…together.
You do what you can to get by
But never believe your own lie
That the world turns its back on us all when our back’s to the wall…
But together – nothing can hold us down.
Together – we just might save this town.
We may not be two of a kind, 
But we’re one of a kind...
Together.


Stetson And Hart - CBS Fridays this fall

Song from the 2011 Le Petomane Theatre Ensemble production 5 Things, a show created by Abigail Bailey Maupin (intro), Gregory Maupin (vocal, ukulele), and Kyle Ware (vocal, guitar)

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