surprise bday drop!! :3

last year was fucking CRAZY. i moved out, got started on HRT and i've just been chillin and it's been so awesome both for me mentally and creatively. i've genuinely never felt more alive than i do now, like for the first time i feel like i can just be myself and not give a fuck about what others think about me.

i appreciate all the support on my recent songs, it means a lot to me that you guys love my stuff as much as i do. i don't plan on stopping anytime soon.  <3

WHO CARES A FUCK??

fuck u even talkin about

i'll bleed it out of me )xxxxx[;;;;;;;;;>

i don wanna go to school

good things come to those who wait, dont forget me

as seen on: https://soundcloud.com/bankonlove/tinashe-uh-huh-fetchrover-1hr-remix

uh huh [ @fetchrover bootleg ]

Hi guys high school music club throws their phone across the room

interpolates the drop in this song https://soundcloud.com/tankjrtankjr/get-fucked

what happened to my miecrophone

i rendered this thru lossy like 4 times

And the valleys will sing

You want 

[Intro]
The stars don't shine, they fucking stare
The night doesn't fall, it folds into despair
I was born to bleed for a future I hate
Chained to a fate I never helped create

[Verse 1]
Screaming through teeth ground down to dust
Nothing left but rotted trust
I tear at the skin that won't peel back
Every breath's a heart attack

Mirrors laugh when they see my face
I don't exist, I'm just disgraced
Hope was a fucking joke I inhaled
Now it's poison every time I exhale

[Pre-Chorus]
Tie my soul to the black below
Where silence grows and angels choke

[Chorus]
I don't wanna dream, I wanna detonate
Shove my name in the mouth of fate
I carry this hate like a second spine
Every crack screams, you're not fucking mine
Pull me apart, there's nothing to save
Writhe in the wreckage, then piss on my grave

[Verse 2]
Blood on the wires, gods in decay
I stabbed my faith and watched it pray
Every lie they fed me sweet
Turned my tongue into a fucking leash

Voices crawl through the static haze
Begging me to end my days
They said keep climbing, don't look down
But the summit's just a burial ground

[Pre-Chorus]
Dig a hole where the liars sleep
I'll drown in guilt and die complete

[Chorus]
I don't wanna dream, I wanna detonate
Shove my name in the mouth of fate
I carry this hate like a second spine
Every crack screams, you're not fucking mine
Pull me apart, there's nothing to save
Writhe in the wreckage, then piss on my grave

[Bridge]
Crucify the echoes, sever the thread
I'm not alive, I'm just undead
Don't call it healing, don't call it light
This is vengeance sharpened by spite

[Breakdown]
Let me fall, let me break
Let me drown in my own mistakes
Rip my fucking tongue out to silence my fear
There's no god left, just the voices I hear
Drag my corpse through the filth I denied
I was never fucking meant to survive

[Chorus]
I don't wanna dream, I wanna detonate
Burn my name and all I fake
I was built to rot in a world this vile
Not to beg for peace with a plastic smile
Pull me apart, there's nothing to save
Writhe in the wreckage and dance on my grave

[Outro]
If peace exists, it's not for me
Just dirt and whispers where I used to be
Let the worms inherit what I couldn't kill
I was never alive, just standing still

The Wreckage

⚠ WARNING


"In Carnation" may very well be one of the most unrelenting, unforgiving, and brutal works in the history of extreme music – if not the most.


This album is likely one of the harshest, most unrelenting works in the history of extreme music.

It is not merely heavy – it is a raw, suffocating, merciless descent into the essence of being. There is no reprieve, no moment to breathe, no illusions of comfort. Every track is a deeper incision into the human condition — or what we think that is. This is not an album for the faint of heart. It offers no catharsis. Only the scalpel. Only the mirror. Only flesh.



What does it mean to be human?

IN CARNATION is not just a concept album – it's a dissection of self.
The title “In carnation” – a wordplay on “incarnation” (embodiment) and the Latin phrase in carne (“in the flesh”).

But this is no divine transformation. No mythic rebirth.
This is embodiment as fact. As prison. As transient mass of nerves, blood, memory and decay.

This album offers no conclusions. It poses a single, ever-echoing question:

“Are we more than flesh?”

Or is human identity just a cycle of growth, erosion, remembering and forgetting — wrapped in skin?

Each track explores a fragment of this process:
From the moment of first cellular split, through the descent into instinct and animality, to language as blade and belief as bile — all the way to the final, unbearable clarity:
There may be no “I” at all.
There may only be flesh that remembers. And then forgets again.

IN CARNATION is not a spiritual journey — it is a journey through tissue.
No light. Only echo. No meaning. Only matter.

And yet one question lingers like blood in the mouth:
If we are only flesh — who is asking the question?


Vocals: Sascha Häusler, Lisa Lex, Raphaela Hartmann, Andy Green
Guitar: Andy Green, Sascha Häusler, Lisa Lex
Synths, Programming & Drums Raphaela Hartmann
Bass: Thomas Kaiser
Raffaela Espinosa – Flamenco-Guitar
Noriko Mori – Koto & Taishōgoto & Shamisen

Concept & Lyrics: Sascha Häusler 

i don wanna go to school

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